


The Last Hope

by Lavieboheme25



Category: Star Wars - All Media Types, Star Wars Sequel Trilogy
Genre: Alternate Universe - Canon Divergence, Angst, Angst and Hurt/Comfort, Ben Solo Deserved Better, Ben Solo Needs A Hug, Eventual Smut, Everyone Needs A Hug, F/M, Family, Fix-It, Fluff, Force Bond (Star Wars), Force Dyad (Star Wars), Gray Jedi, Han Solo Lives, Hope, M/M, Not Canon Compliant - Star Wars: The Rise of Skywalker, Protective Ben Solo, Redeemed Ben Solo, Redemption, Rey Needs A Hug, Romance, Slow Burn, Slow Romance, Smut, Soft Ben Solo, everyone deserved better
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2020-05-31
Updated: 2021-02-20
Packaged: 2021-03-03 11:14:42
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 23
Words: 69,976
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/24470056
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Lavieboheme25/pseuds/Lavieboheme25
Summary: The First Oder was only growing stronger every day. The resistance, on the other hand, was having fewer and fewer victories. It seemed like the galaxy was lost again just like in the days of the Empire. The only difference was that this time there was no new hope. Luke Skywalker had hidden away from everything. Closed himself off from the Force. There was no one to save them this time. An old enemy was rising and soon he would become unstoppable. It seemed like everything was lost or at least that was what they thought. What nobody knew was that a new power was also rising. A connection, a dyad, the last hope to save the galaxy.What if Han hadn't died in Starkiller base? What if Rey's and Ben's connection started to manifest earlier? What if Palpatine had other plans?A rewrite on the sequels to explore what could have been.
Relationships: Kylo Ren/Rey, Leia Organa/Han Solo, Poe Dameron/Finn, Rey/Ben Solo, Rey/Ben Solo | Kylo Ren
Comments: 88
Kudos: 172





	1. Chapter 1

Two figures stood in the long narrow bridge on Starkiller base. Everything was quiet around them. A stormtrooper and a wookie were the only ones watching them from afar, not sure of what to do. Suddenly a door opened, and two more people joined the scene. One of the figures in the bridge was wearing a mask while the other, the old man, walked towards him with no weapon in hand like there was nothing to be afraid of anymore. Rey wanted to shout, to scream, to warn Han not to get any closer to the creature in the mask, but she could not say a word, only watch what was happening, and apparently, the others couldn’t speak either.

“Ben, take off that mask. You don’t need it,” said Han, almost pleading.

“What do you think you will see if I do?” answered the creature in a distorted voice.

“The face of my son.”

Kylo knew that Han Solo would say something like that to try to manipulate him. He was prepared to face him. Snoke had trained him for this moment by teaching him to channel the anger and the hatred he felt towards the man standing in front of him urging him to take off his mask, but yet, after all that training he still felt something in his heart when Han uttered the word son. That feeling made him even angrier. He would not fail. Not this time. So he took the mask off to prove that he was no longer the child Han Solo used to know. He had power now, and with that power, Ben Solo had died. 

“Your son is gone. He was weak and foolish like his father, so I destroyed him.”

“That’s what Snoke wants you to believe, but it is not true. My son is alive.”

“No, the Supreme Leader is wise,” said Kylo like a mantra he had repeated over and over again in his head.

“Snoke is using you for your power. When he gets what he wants, he will crush you.”

After hearing those words, Kylo wanted to scream, to destroy him, to kill him. How could he say that Snoke was using him when he had been the only person who had ever cared about him? The only person who had been there. The only one who was not afraid of him, but his anger did not last long. There was something inside him telling him that Han’s words were true, that if he didn’t have the power he had, Snoke would have never come to him. He wanted to kill that voice, but the thing that terrified him the most was the part of him that wanted to believe those words.

“It’s too late,” he said without thinking.

“No, it’s not. Leave here with me, come home. We miss you.”

Kylo knew what he had to do. This was a challenge. The light was pulling him, but he would not give in. There was nothing that the light could offer him. It only ever brought him pain. The dark had given him power, and that was everything he needed. He didn’t need Han or Leia or Luke. They were all dead to him. He dropped his mask and drew his saber out, having made his choice already. Han did not back away. He knew what was coming, and he was at peace with it. He did not want to live in a world where his son no longer existed. Kylo could hear screams coming from someone around them, but he did not care what they had to say. He drew his weapon higher, activating the saber ready to kill, but then he made the mistake of looking at his face. Han’s face. To his surprise, he found no resentment there, no hatred, only sorrow, and sadness. His mind could not help but remember all the moments they had shared in the past like flying the falcon with Chewie, making Leia upset over silly things, visiting Lando, and hearing the same stories over and over again of how they had saved the galaxy together.

Kylo knew at that moment that he could not kill Han Solo, and instead of hitting him with the blade of his saber, he hit him with the hilt, making him stumble to the ground. Anger was taking over him and he was going to hit him again when someone shot him in the arm and soon blaster shots were everywhere. There was an explosion near him. He realized that they were trying to destroy the base. Han had left in the midst of everything that was happening around them. Kylo didn’t realize that the pain from the shot had tumbled him to the ground, falling on his knees. He had just failed, but he would not let them destroy the base. He looked up to stand and saw her.

The girl.

She was going to pay for this. They all were.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hi, thank you so much for reading. This is my take on what I would have liked to have seen in the sequels. I hope you enjoy it. Feel free to comment. I want to hear your thoughts, opinions and questions about the story. Is there anything you would like to see? This story is not a one-shot. There are many chapters to come.


	2. Chapter 2

They were all alive. She didn’t know how they had managed to escape Starkiller base, but they did. Finn was unconscious due to all the wounds he had sustained in battle. Han and Chewie assured her that once they got to the rebel base, he would be taken care of immediately. All the adrenaline the day had caused was starting to wear off, and she found herself completely exhausted as she lay to rest in one of the bunks.

How the hell did she get here? A few days ago, she was in Jakku waiting like she always did and now… now she did not even know who she was anymore. When she touched the lightsaber in Takonada something inside of her woke up and it had scared her, but now that feeling was gone. Now she only wanted answers. A part of her knew she had to go back to Jakku. What if they came for her and she wasn’t there? But another part of her was urging her to continue. She could use the force. She had found out that she could when Kylo Ren looked into her mind. She found something else too. Unlike the feeling she had in Takonada, of feeling alone and afraid, when their force signatures met, she was not scared. It did not feel strange, on the contrary, it felt familiar as if she knew it already.

“ _We are going to reach the base soon,_ ” said Chewie before returning to the cockpit to prepare for landing. Rey only gave him a nod and made her way towards Finn to secure him for the landing.

When they arrived, many people were waiting for them outside. Rey felt a little intimidated by their presence and looked over to Han to find some reassurance, but his face was hallowed. There was no smile, no confident grin any more, only sadness. He felt like he had failed. He had failed Leia again, but most importantly, he felt like he had failed Ben by not bringing him back. He could not look at Leia, not even when she reached out to hug him.

“I failed,” was all he managed to say.

“We will get him back. I know it,” she whispered into his ear and he could not help it anymore and started to cry.

Ben had almost killed him, and he was going to let it happen. How could he not? After how bad of a father he had been, maybe he deserved it. He was never there and when he was, he never made an effort to connect with Ben. He just never understood him and as he grew older, the distance between them only grew bigger and bigger, so much so, that he stopped visiting, to the point where he did not know what his son looked like anymore. He had always loved Ben, even if he never showed it. The truth was that he was afraid. He did not know how to be a father, least of all to a force-sensitive and emotional child, like Ben, so he stayed away.

Leia was also crying in their embrace, but she did not let it consume her. She was the General to all these people around them. If she were to break, they would all break with her and she could not allow that. After their emotions had worn off, they made their way inside to determine what the next course of action should be. She knew that they could not stay in D’Qar any longer. It was not a safe place anymore.

“Leia, this is Rey,” said Han when they saw the young woman inside.

“Rey is nice to finally meet you. I heard a lot about you,” said Leia before taking her hand gently. “Thank you for everything you have done for the resistance. You have a home here is that is what you want.”

Rey did not know what to answer, so she settled for a small smile. When Leia touched her hand, she felt a strong force radiating from Rey. A force that was all over the place and not controlled. It also felt strangely familiar. It made her think that the young woman’s arrival to the base must not have been a coincidence. Rey was about to say something when they were interrupted by a robotic voice.

“General, excuse me, General,” said C-3PO making his way towards them. “R2-D2 is awake, and he has the map to find master Skywalker.”

“What?” said Han, almost screaming.

“What I said master Solo is that R2 has woken up, and he has the…”

“I know what you said just show us the fucking map,” said Han with irritation. He never understood why Leia always kept that droid around when he was so annoying. Leia couldn’t contain a small chuckle at Han’s behaviour. Even after all the years that had passed, he was still the same reckless idiot who hated C-3PO.

They all made their way to the control room, where R2 was waiting, and he soon showed the map for everyone that was in the room to see.

“ _It is missing something,_ ” said Chewbacca, who was behind them.

“Wow, wow. All right buddy, hold on,” said another voice to BB-8 who Rey did not recognize. The man retrieved something from behind them and gave it back to the droid. BB-8 was almost jumping with excitement as he displayed the last missing piece of the map.

“Luke,” was the only thing the General was able to say as they all looked at the map in awe but also filled with hope.

* * *

The day was coming to an end, but the celebration had not stopped. After the General had given the base permission to open the liquor nobody had wasted time. She warned them to behave and to always stay alert in case anything happened, but she granted them the night to enjoy their small victory, knowing that tomorrow would be another day where they could plan their next strategy. In all her years, one of the most valuable things Leia had learned was that it was also important to make time to enjoy life a little. If everything is always constant fighting, you start to forget what you were fighting for in the first place. She would never admit it, but it was Han who taught her that. He was always the one telling her to slow down, to not overwork herself, to enjoy the things happening around her and when she did listen to him her desire to fight for what she believed in became stronger so she knew the importance of slowing down even in the midst of a war.

Rey did not take part in the celebration. She did not know any of the rebels in the base. They all seemed friendly and some of them even came up to her to thank her and ask her to join them, but Rey was not used to being with a huge amount of people and definitely not used to celebrating. Back in Jakku all she ever did was try to survive and the only few times when she had gotten drunk with other scavengers did not count as celebrations. The only person she wanted to talk to was unconscious and from what the medical droids had said he was not going to wake up anytime soon, so Rey decided to make him some company in the med bay while her thoughts wondered about everything that had happened. She knew she had to tell someone about her ability to use the force, but she did not know who could help her. The only person who could also use the force was hidden in some secret island light-years away. Perhaps Luke could be the one to provide her with the answers she desperately needed.

“Oh, sorry, I didn’t know there was someone in here. I did not mean to intrude,” said the same man, who had given BB-8 the missing part of the map, when he saw that Rey was sitting next to Finn’s bed.

“No, no, is fine. He is not awake so there hasn’t been much of a conversation,” she answered with a small smile.

“You must be Rey.”

“And you must be Poe Dameron. Finn talked a lot about you.”

“He did?” he answered immediately, very surprised. “I mean, he did?” he said again, much calmer this time.

“Yeah, he said you were a pilot.”

“I am. The best of the resistance,” he said with a lot of confidence and a big smirk.

“Really? Well then, you haven’t flown against me yet,” she said, and he chuckled at her defiance.

“I don’t think anybody is much of a match against me, to be honest, but I do have to hand it to you, if you were able to fly that piece of junk that is the Millennium Falcon then you can’t be that bad.”

“It is starting to grow on me actually,” she said. But she had to admit that her change of heart about the Falcon had more to do with Han and Chewie than the actual ship itself. Han had been the first person to appreciate her knowledge of ships. He even had offered her a job. Kylo had been right when he said that she saw Han as a father figure. How could she not?

“So, you are from Jakku, right?” asked Poe after a small silence.

“Yeah. I have lived there all my life.”

“Are you going back once the war is over?”

“Yes,” she said, but she had trouble believing her own words now. “I must get going. It has been a long day. I know that I am leaving Finn in good company,” she added, and Poe found himself blushing slightly at her words. “It was nice to meet you, Poe.”

“Goodnight, Rey.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hi, thank you so much for reading this chapter. I hope you enjoyed it. Feel free to comment. I want to hear your thoughts, opinions or questions about the story. Is there anything you would like to see?


	3. Chapter 3

_It was cold and dark, very dark. There was dust everywhere and the entire place seemed like a desolated desert. Rey had never been here before. She didn’t recognize any of her surroundings. There were a couple of enormous statues of men with hoods holding a baton far away from her, and there was a throne in front of her. It was calling to her just like the lightsaber in Takonada had, but the force around it was different. It was dark and powerful and strong. It began to call to her louder and louder as each minute passed. She took a few steps towards it, but something at the back of her head was also telling her to stop, to turn around and ignore the voice. The pull to the throne was stronger, so she kept walking towards it with hesitation, but then another pull stopped her. She turned around, and he was there. No mask this time, but he was still wearing the same clothes he had on Starkiller base. Why was he here?_

_“Why are you here?” he asked looking straight into her eyes._

_“I don’t know where I am,” she answered just as a voice started calling to her again. Even louder than it was before, but she didn’t feel compelled to walk towards it anymore though._

_“I can give you everything you ever wanted,” said the voice._

_“Did you hear that too?” Kylo asked, and she only nodded before everything started to disappear._

Rey woke up sweating and feeling like she had no air left in her lungs. It had only been a dream, but it had felt so real like they were actually there, and the voice was so loud and so full of power. She did want to walk towards it, to find out what it wanted to offer her, but after Kylo appeared she did not feel the need to do it anymore. Why? Why was Kylo in her dreams? Had something happened when they looked into each other’s minds? Rey felt that every day left her with even more questions she could not answer, and she desperately needed answers. She had to tell someone, and she knew exactly who.

The General had been busy all morning trying to figure out what to do with the map now. She knew they had to find him. He was their only hope to defeat the First order, but he also was the only person who could give her answers to what happened to Ben. She knew she was partially to blame for his fall to the dark side. She should have never sent him away to Luke’s academy. At the time, she thought it was her only choice. He was far too emotional, and she was afraid that all those emotions were going to lead him to the dark side. There was too much fear surrounding him. She didn’t know where it came from; she thought it was probably from her, but now she knew it had been Snoke. He had manipulated his mind since he was born. He was the person to blame for all of this.

Leia did not know what had happened the day Ben fell to the dark side. Luke didn't explain. He simply sent her a message apologizing for failing her and left without a trace. After that Han was gone for good. They both had blamed each other for what had happened. He blamed her for sending their son away, and she blamed him for never being with them. She could remember every single word filled with anger they had said to each other, but that was in the past. It was useless to let it consume them now. Thinking and mourning about it wouldn’t change anything. It wouldn’t bring Ben back. Someone had to find Luke, but she was starting to wonder if she was the right person to do it. She was needed in the base. She couldn’t just leave, but if it wasn’t her, then who?

“General, I was wondering if I could speak to you? But I understand if you are busy. I can come back another time,” said the young woman Han had introduced her to yesterday.

“No, I have time right now. Please take a seat,” she said, gesturing to a seat next to her. Rey sat and found that she did not know what to say exactly. She knew the General was kind, but she was also a very serious person, not like Han at all, who always cursed and used many sarcastic remarks to talk.

“When we were in Takonada. I found this,” she finally managed to say, while she showed the General the lightsaber Maz had given to her.

“I see. How did you find it exactly?”

“I-It called to me. I don’t know how or why, but when we were in Maz tavern, I felt it and when I touched it, I saw things.”

“What kind of things?”

“Things that had happened in the past,” she said as she remembered seeing herself as a little girl crying about being abandoned. “And things I have never seen before. They just were so many of them. I couldn’t figure out what they meant.”

“Have you ever used the force before?”

“No, I didn’t even know I was capable of using it, but back at Starkiller base I was able to…” she said but stopped to think. After knowing that Kylo Ren was her son, she felt like it must be a sensitive subject to bring up, especially considering that he was about to kill his own father if Chewie had not stopped him. How was she supposed to mention her son? “I used the force on the guards, that is how I escaped.”

“I can’t deny that when I met you, I sensed the force very strong around you, and I can also sense that you are very confused about this. You want answers.”

“Yes, I do.”

“The force works in mysterious ways, Rey. I do not know why this lightsaber called to you, but I know that the force wanted you to find it for a reason. It belongs to Luke, and I think you are supposed to give it back to him. Maybe he can help you find your answers,” said Leia, giving the lightsaber back to her carefully. “You have proven to be a very competent and strong woman, Rey. We may not know each other, but I know that I can trust you. I think you should be the one to bring Luke back unless you have other plans, which I would completely understand if you do.”

“No, I will do it. I will find Luke.”

* * *

Kylo knew what awaited him. He had failed miserably. He was not able to kill Han Solo when he had the chance. He was not as strong as he thought he was. He was still weak. The light kept calling to him and he could not stop it. His grandfather was not answering his pleas anymore. He had called to him after what had happened in Starkiller base. He had once again asked him to give him the power to resist the temptation to the light, but this time there was no answer. It felt like something was stopping him from reaching him. He was angry. Angry for being so weak. He almost destroyed his new room in his rage of anger and people around the base were looking at him with more fear than usual and to top it all off now he was having strange dreams.

The dream he had last night was strange, to say the least. He had dreamt about that place before. He still did not know where it was, but he always had the same feeling. The throne always called to him. He could sense that it had great power, and he always walked towards it with the voice encouraging him. Last night he had done the same, but then he sensed her. She was there for some reason that he could not understand. What truly scared him was the shift in the Force. The throne was still calling to him, but there was another pull, far too much stronger than anything he had ever felt before. It was pulling him towards her.

When he woke up, he felt furious. He was not supposed to feel that pull. He was not supposed to reject the throne so easily. Power is what he was supposed to seek, to desire. Everything else was just pointless. Power was the only thing that could give him what he wanted, and yet he still could not deny what he felt. It was just a dream in the end. It was nothing more than a distraction of the light he was trying to avoid. He could not deny that the girl had great power, but she was part of the rebels. Another one of Leia’s peons who did not even know what they were doing. She was just another obstacle they had to overcome to rule the galaxy. She meant nothing to him.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hi, thank you so much for reading this chapter. I hope you enjoyed it. Feel free to comment. I want to hear your thoughts, opinions or questions about the story. Is there anything you would like to see? What do you think about the dream?


	4. Chapter 4

The days in the rebel base went by fast for Rey as she was preparing for her trip to find Luke. In her spare time, she had taken a liking in helping some of the mechanics with the ships that were damaged after the battle in Starkiller base. Her routine had completely changed from the one she had back in Jakku. There was no need to work for food anymore. She didn’t have to search for parts to trade for tasteless portions. The food in the base had much more flavour, and it was served three times a day. She also had unlimited use of the freshers, something that she had never had before in her life. Hygiene in Jakku was a luxury she was lucky to afford at least once a month if she found some good parts that Unkar Plutt was willing to trade for a reasonable amount of credits. Now she could use them whenever she liked. The bed was also far much more comfortable than the one she had and there were always people around, but she still felt lonely. Finn had not woken up yet. At least she talked to Poe when he came to visit Finn in the med bay, which was almost every day.

Today she was trying to fix an X-wing that had taken a massive hit on one of its wings. It needed a lot of repairs, but Rey was happy to do it. She liked the distraction. Ever since she agreed to find Luke, she couldn’t help to feel anxious at the prospect of seeing the legendary Jedi. Leia had told her what to say, but she still couldn’t help feeling out of place and there was also the whole weird dream thing. Two days had passed since she had that dream, and she could not help to think about it all the time. She knew that some of her answers were there, but she could not figure out what it was trying to tell her.

“Hey, kiddo. It looks like you are having fun over there,” said Han, startling her a little.

“Just doing some repairs.”

“I was looking for you. There is something I want to talk with you about.”

“Sure, just give me a minute and I will be right there,” she said before leaving the wing and hopping down to talk to him. Her hands were covered in grease and so were her clothes now. “What do you want to talk about?”

“I know you and the princess agree to take an X-wing to find Luke, but I think you could use a better ship so… I want you to take the Falcon.”

“Han, I-I can’t accept that. I know she means a lot to you.”

“She does, but I know she will be in good hands with you. You already know a lot about how she works and to be honest you are one of the few people in the galaxy that truly appreciates her.”

“What about you? Won’t you need a ship?”

“No, I will be staying here for a while. It’s time to stop running,” he said. He knew that things with Leia would take a long time to repair, but they had forgiven each other already, and they wanted to be there for the other. Han was scared that he had ruined things forever with her, but it turned out not to be the case. He no longer needed a ship to run away. He belonged here with her, and he was going to start to own up to his mistakes.

“I promise I will return her,” said Rey, feeling overwhelmed by his gift before giving him a small hug.

“You better otherwise I will make you search the entire galaxy for her,” he said, making her chuckle. “I am serious.”

“I wouldn’t have it any other way.”

“I have to go now. The princess and I are going to have lunch,” he said before leaving. “I almost forgot since you will need a copilot, and I am guessing R2 won’t be much help, Chewie has agreed to go with you. I hope that is not a problem.”

“No, it’s perfect.”

* * *

After loading everything they needed for their trip into the Falcon, Chewie and Rey said their goodbyes to Han and Leia before leaving. Rey also went to visit Finn for the last time and found Poe next to his bed. She smiled at the sight. There was clearly something going on there, what it was she wasn’t sure, but she was eager to see what it would unfold into. She said her goodbyes to Poe and made him promise he would look after Finn while she was gone. She knew she didn’t need to ask him, but it still made her feel calm to have some reassurance.

Rey also felt lucky to have Chewie by her side. The wookie was a good company, and it was always nice to have a friend to turn to in case something went wrong with the ship. So far, they hadn’t had any problems. Everything had gone smoothly according to plan. They were still two days away from Ahch-To and the autopilot was working well, so they both decided to call it a night and get some much-needed rest.

Rey was about to lay down on her bunk when she felt a change in the atmosphere. The pull she had felt in her dream was there again, and everything appeared to be quieter somehow. She turned around, trying to find the source when she saw him. He seemed just as confused as she was. She made her way to grab her blaster quickly and held it out in front of him.

“How did you get in here?”

“You will bring Skywalker to me,” he said, waving his hand in front of her, trying to control her mind, but it had no effect. Rey just kept gripping the blaster, ready to shoot if it was necessary. “You are not doing this. The effort would kill you,” he added, retrieving his hand when he realised it was not working.

“Answer me, how did you get in here? You are going to pay for everything you have done.”

“Can you see my surroundings?” he asked back, ignoring her question and threatening words. “I can’t see yours. Just you,” he added. Rey did not understand why his words made her lower the blaster, but something was telling her he was not really in front of her. This was the Force's doing. There was also a softness in his voice that confused her. He was not acting like the same person she had faced on Starkiller base. He did not seem angry like he was back then. He was just curious. The other sounds around them started to come back and soon she heard a pounding on the door accompany by a growl.

“Chewbacca?” he said before he disappeared. Rey was left stunned, but she still made her way to the door to let Chewie in.

“ _Are you alright? I heard you shouting._ ”

“Yes, I am fine. I was just talking to myself. Old habit,” she lied.

* * *

When Rey left, Kylo was very confused about what had just happened. At first, he thought that maybe the scavenger had managed to project herself into his room, but that couldn’t be possible. She may be strong in the force, but she still was untrained and had just recently discovered her powers. This was something else that neither of them was controlling. It reminded him of things he had felt in the past, and that made little sense. He had never met her before, but yet the same pull was there again. The same one from his dream, or was it a dream?

He had to see Snoke in a few minutes, and he knew that he could not tell him about any of this. He was already in trouble after what happened at Starkiller base and this would only make him more suspicious. He had been dreading the entire day what was about to happen, but he had to face it sooner or later, so he put his mask on and made his way to the turbo lift.

When he reached his floor, Hux was unfortunately there, and he could hear laughter coming from Snoke. He did not pay attention to what they were talking about. He did not care in the slightest what General Hux was doing. The man was insufferable, and he never knew when to shut his fucking mouth. Kylo despised him, and he knew that Hux felt the same way about him since they met. As he moved further into the room Hux smiled at him, knowing exactly what was about to come. If they were somewhere else, Kylo wouldn’t hesitate to punch him, but he knew that Snoke would not be pleased if he did, so he managed to contain his anger and kept walking until he reached the point where he had to bow.

“You wonder why I keep a rabbit in such a place of power? Because weakness properly manipulated can be a sharp tool,” said Snoke to his young apprentice, and Kylo’s mind wandered to what Han had said about how Snoke was using him for his power, but this was not the case. Snoke had never lied to him, he had always been there for him, not like Han and Leia who only were good at lying and manipulating him into what they wanted. “How is your wound?”

“It’s nothing.”

“The mighty Kylo Ren,” said Snoke as he stood from his throne. “When you came to me, I saw what all masters live to see. Raw, untamed power and beyond that something truly special. The potential of your bloodline. A new Vader. Now, I fear I was mistaken,” he added with hatred in his voice. His words only made Kylo feel hopeless and weak, but at the same time, he felt angry. How could he say that after everything he had done?

“I gave everything I have to you, to the dark side.”

“Take that ridiculous thing off,” he said, and Kylo did as he was told and took off his mask. “Yes, there it is. You have too much of your father’s heart in you, young Solo.”

“I was going to kill Han Solo. I almost had him.”

“Were you really?”

“Yes, but the wookie shot me in the arm. It distracted me…”

“I am starting to think that what you say may not be true. You could have done it, but you hesitated. You didn’t want to do it, and the whole deed split your spirit to the bone. You were unbalanced, bested by a girl who had never held a lightsaber. You failed,” Snoke screamed, and Kylo could not take it anymore. He stood up prepared to fight him, but Snoke was quicker and send him flying to the other side of the room with force lightning.

“Skywalker lives and as long as he does hope in the galaxy still lives. I thought you would be the one to snuff it out, but you are just a child in a mask.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I hope you have enjoyed chapter 4. I am a few chapters away to finish writing this story and I am very excited to share it with you guys. Please feel free to comment. I want to hear your opinions, questions or suggestions for the story. Is there anything, in particular, you would like to see? What do you think will happen next?


	5. Chapter 5

The turbo lift was completely destroyed after Kylo’s meeting with Snoke. It took him a full day to eventually calm down after their encounter. He knew that Snoke had been honest with him, that what he had said was only an incentive to make him a better apprentice, but it still hurt him. Snoke had even punished him further by cancelling all of his missions saying that he was too unstable to handle the pressure, which obviously led him to another episode of anger that ended with a control panel being torn apart and with a furious Hux, so now he was stuck with handling the information for the First Order. His day had been spent in front of a panel looking at several files that needed to be rearranged. Kylo felt insulated. He knew he would be much more needed elsewhere, but there was no way he was going to argue with Snoke anymore. 

The entire day had been miserable. Looking at files and files of information was a slow way to pass the time, and he just wanted it to end. Everything he had looked at, he already knew, until he found a file with a strange name. The file was name Fire, which was unusual for the First Order. Normally files had codes and not names. When he tried to look into it, he found that he did not have clearance to view it, which made the entire thing even more strange. He had access to everything; he was the apprentice of the supreme leader, but why was he not allowed to look into this particular file? Was Snoke hiding things from him?

* * *

When the Falcon finally reached Ahch-To, Rey felt mesmerized by the small island. It was so green and full of different plants and birds flying around. She had never seen anything like it before and she felt excited to explore it, but she also knew she had to stay focus on the mission. She did not know where to go, where to find Luke, but the only trail she could find was leading her up so she started walking, after Chewie told her he and R2 would stay behind and wait for them in the Falcon.

She walked and walked, following the trail until she reached the top of the hill and saw him. He was wearing an old hood and did not flinch with her presence. He eventually turned around to face her, and she took it as her cue to come closer. He did not look like what she was expecting. He was older, of course, but his appearance was rough and not well looked after like he couldn’t be bothered to care. His hair and beard were long and there was a deep pain in his eyes. The man who was standing in front of her looked hopeless like he had given up on everything. He did not look like the legendary Jedi she had heard many stories about. Rey reached into her bag and took his lightsaber and extended it out to him, but he did not move. He just kept staring at her. Several minutes passed until he finally took the lightsaber. He held it in his hands for a minute before throwing it behind him and walking away, not saying a single word.

Rey was left speechless. This was not at all what she had expected to happen. She had planned many scenarios in her head, but in not a single one of them, Luke had thrown the lightsaber like it meant nothing to him.

She tried to follow him, but he locked himself in one of the stone huts she had seen when she was walking to the top of the hill. She tried knocking on his door and even mention that Leia had sent her, but there was still no answer from him. After retrieving the lightsaber from a pair of weird-looking birds, she knew she would need help with this.

“Chewie, what are you doing here?” said Skywalker when the wookie barged into his hut ripping out the door in the process. “How did you find me?”

“Long story. We will tell you on the Falcon,” said Rey, starting to get even more annoyed with his behaviour.

“The Falcon. Wait, where is Han? Is he…?” asked Luke, not being able to complete his question. It took her a while to understand what he was trying to say, but the sorrow on his face was clear.

“What? No, of course not. He just gave me the Falcon so we could find you.”

Now that Rey had gotten his attention, she explained to him everything that had happened in the last couple of days with the First Order and how much the Resistance needed him back. How much they needed the Jedi order back to find peace in the galaxy, but he still was reluctant, saying that there was no point in facing the First Order and that he wasn’t going to be able to defeat it. After that, her entire day consisted on following him around trying to persuade him to come with her, but he couldn’t care less. He had no interest in helping the galaxy, in helping his sister. As the minutes and hours passed, her irritation towards Luke Skywalker only grew stronger. The man was arrogant and hopeless. How could he have ever been the man who had defeated the Empire? The man who defeated Vader.

When Rey started to walk one of the hills again trailing after Luke she had to stop. There were voices coming from somewhere, like a whisper calling to her. They came from a tree on the other side of the island. The tree was old and there wasn’t much inside of it, just some books resting in the middle of the branches. Everything about it was oddly familiar. It felt like she had been there many times before, but she couldn’t remember when or why she felt that way when all her life had been spent in the desert of Jakku. It was then that she realized that the voices were not coming from the tree. They were coming from the books.

“Who are you?” asked Luke from the entrance before she could touch them.

“I know this place.”

“It was built a thousand years ago to keep these,” he said as he made his way towards her and opened one of the books. “Just like me, they’re the last of the Jedi religion. You’ve seen this place.”

“Only in dreams,” she said, finally remembering.

“Who are you?”

“The resistance sent me.”

“Why? Where are you from?”

“Nowhere,” she said in all honesty.

“No one is from nowhere.”

“Jakku.”

“Alright, that is pretty much nowhere. Why are you here, then?”

“The resistance sent me. They need your help. The First Order has become unstoppable…”

“Why are you here?” he asked again, interrupting the speech she had prepared with Leia. Rey knew what he meant, but she did not know how to answer his question. Why did she come here? Yes, she was searching for answers, but there was more to that.

“Something inside of me has always been there, but now it’s awake and I am afraid. I don’t know what to do with it. I need help,” she confessed, trying to not show her emotions. She did not want Luke to see her so vulnerable. It had caused a great deal to finally get his attention. She could not waste it now that she had it.

“You need a teacher. I can’t teach you. I will never train another generation of Jedi. I came to this island to die. It’s time for the Jedi to end.” he said as he walked to the door to run away from her once more. Rey didn’t understand how he could say that. The Jedi were good. She had heard thousands of stories of how they protected the galaxy from evil, but then again, she really didn’t know much about the force, or the Jedi, for that matter, and she had to admit that childhood stories were not the most reliable source of information.

“Leia sent me here with hope. If she is wrong, she deserves to know why,” said Rey as she remembered how this mission meant so much to Leia. She obviously trusted her brother and cared for him. Luke wasn’t being fair. He was being selfish and unreasonable, and she couldn’t understand why. He walked away from the tree and Rey started to feel her anger towards him rise again, but there was a new feeling too. She felt pity for him. He acted like he was already dead like there was nothing left worth fighting for, but she knew that he was wrong, there was so much left worth fighting for. He just needed to see it again.

Rey decided not to keep following him for the rest of the day. Instead, she kept wandering around the island, exploring it, just like she wanted to when she first saw it. Everything around her was so familiar. She had dreamt about it many times in the past; she knew that now, but she could not really remember the dreams or what she had seen in them. They were just a vague memory in her mind. When the weather started to settle Rey made a pause on her exploration to look at the lightsaber Skywalker had neglected back at the hill. It called to her still, but this time it did not scare her like it did in Takonada. It felt natural. She wanted to know how to use it properly and if Luke was so reluctant to teach her then she would just have to figure it out on her own.

She left her hood on a rock and activated the lightsaber. It was tiny compared to her usual staff and also lighter. She arranged some rocks to practice with and started sparing, not really knowing what she was doing, but she was so focused on the task that she almost ignored the pull. The same feeling was there again, and she did not have to turn around to know that he was also there watching her.

“Get out of my head,” yelled Rey. Tired of having another thing in her life that she did not understand.

“I would if I knew how to. Trust me, I don’t like this either.”

“You did something to me when you tried to get the map. You messed with my head and now we are connected or something. This is your fault.”

“If I remember correctly you also messed with my head so you could be to blame too.”

“I only did that because you did it first!”

“Well, it doesn’t matter because that was not what caused this. I have looked into many minds before and nothing like this has ever happened. Only with you, but why? Why is the Force connecting us?”

“I don’t know, and I don’t care I just want it to stop,” she said turning around to ignore him. Maybe if she did not engage with him, the connection would close, but as she tried to continue with her training, she could still feel him near her.

“You are holding it wrong,” he eventually said after getting bored of watching her hold a lightsaber like a toddler who did not understand what she was doing. “You hold it like it is a large weapon when it is not. You need to lower your hand more.”

“I don’t need your help.”

“Yes, because you are doing such a wonderful job missing those rocks repeatedly. I don’t understand, you were able to hold a lightsaber properly when we fought on Starkiller base.”

“I don’t know how I was able to do it back then. I can’t remember anymore,” she said, and Kylo found what she had said very strange. He remembered fighting her. Yes, he was unbalanced and distracted, but she was not this incompetent. She stood her ground very firmly and was a fierce fighter, but now she looked lost like she had never held a lightsaber before.

“You need to spread your feet further apart. It gives you more balance.”

“I told you already that I don’t need your help,” she answered back bitterly.

“Well, it looks like nobody else is given it to you! Many days have passed already, you must have found him by now and yet he refuses to teach you. Disappointing isn’t? To realize that your heroes are not the people you thought they were. Skywalker is nothing but a coward, you must know that by now, and yet you are still trying to get him to help you, aren’t you? Of course, you are, would not want to disappoint the new family you have made. The one you have craved for so long.”

“You know nothing about me. You have no right to say that about me just because you looked into my head for a few minutes. I looked into yours too, remember? I know your fears too. I know things about you, Ben Solo,” she said with anger, spitting the words like they were poison in her mouth.

Kylo wanted to yell at her to not called him by that name ever again because Ben Solo was dead. He had killed him many years ago, but before he could even utter a word, the connection broke and he was left alone once again in his room with anger and a pathetic yearning for the connection he had to that girl which he didn’t understand.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hi, so as you can see I added two more chapters to the fic. I original plan for it to be 23, but there are some small story arcs that I want to explore more so we can understand Ben's and Rey's characters better. I hope you guys don't mind. Next chapter we will see some flashbacks and there will be more about the dyad bond. As always, I hope you enjoyed this chapter and please feel free to share your opinion, questions or suggestions in the comments. What do you think of Ben and Rey so far? What do you think will happen next?


	6. Chapter 6

When the night came, Rey decided to sleep in one of the huts the Lanai had prepared and left Chewie on the Falcon. The wookie had mentioned that he was going to cook one of the strange birds that were on the island. Rey thought it was a good idea. The fish the Lanai had offered were alright, but she wasn’t very fond of the taste. 

Sleep came easily. She didn’t realize how tired she felt. Following Luke around, all day required some effort, especially if the man was trying to avoid you, but the weird dreams started again that night.

_This time she was back in Jakku at one of the graveyards where you could find parts, but it looked different from the last time she had been there. As far as she could recall, the place had been scavenged until the last part. Nobody had found anything interesting in there for years, but yet, the lot she was seeing in her dream was filled with parts again, ready to be discovered. She wondered around and saw many old parts she had traded for portions in the past. They were all there again. As she kept walking, she started to hear someone sobbing. It was a child sitting in the sand alone. Rey was walking towards her when the child turned around as she heard some noise. When she saw her face, Rey turned pale. She knew who this child was. It was her, and she remembered this day. It was the day that some boys stole the parts she had gathered in the yard. They were really good parts, and she was looking forward to trading them for a lot of portions, but she never had the chance because they took it all away from her._

_The little girl stopped her sobs for a minute to look around. Rey was trying to find what was she looking at but couldn’t find the source. Suddenly a boy appeared. He was older; he had long black hair and was wearing tan brown robes. He seemed to not realize that there was a child in front of him because he kept cursing and kicking everything around him. After a while, he realized that he was not alone and turned around to look at the girl._

_“What are you doing here? You are not supposed to be here,” said the boy calmly to not scare the girl any further, but she still didn’t answer and kept looking at the floor while her tears kept coming. “Why are you crying?”_

_“Why are you angry?” she asked back bitterly_

_“Fair enough,” said the boy as he didn’t want to tell her what he was feeling either. “I should probably get someone to come and get you. It’s…” he said as he started to walk away._

_“No! please. Stay,” she said desperately. He only nodded and sat near her in silence. Both of them were quiet for a few minutes until the little girl eventually stopped crying. “Who are you?” she asked._

_“My name is Ben.”_

_Ben? And before Rey could think any further about what she had just heard she was startled by someone else’s presence and woke up._

“Tomorrow at dawn. Three lessons. I will teach you the ways of the Jedi and why they need to end,” said Luke before exiting her hut.

Rey found herself unable to utter a word. Her mind kept replaying what had happened in her dream, except it was not a dream. It was a memory. She could remember it now. It had been so long ago she had forgotten about it. She couldn’t even remember the face of the boy, but it had truly happened. The feeling was also familiar, and the pull was there too. It was the same pull she always felt whenever he was near. She remembered how his presence didn’t startle her. On the contrary, it comforted her. Back then she had thought he was just another scavenger like her. She had even looked for him at Niima’s outpost. She never found him and soon she forgot about it, but she never forgot that feeling of comfort. Rey had seen Kylo Ren or Ben Solo, whoever he was, back then when she was just a child. He was telling the truth then. He did not start the connection when he looked into her mind. It had always been there.

As morning came, Rey’s panic about the memory she had seen the night before, started to disappear. Now she was looking forward to her lesson with Luke. She didn’t know what made him change his mind, but she was glad he did, even if he was still hostile and reserve with his intentions, it was still progressed. Rey spent the day practising with the lightsaber, much to the Lanais’ dismay who were constantly complaining about the mess she was causing with the rocks on the island. The Lanais were very strict creatures. Rey hadn’t intended to upset them, but they hated when things were taken out of order on their island.

Luke, on the other hand, was not looking forward to his lesson with Rey, but as dawn came, he knew he had no other option. She was not going to let this one slip. He had to stick to his words.

“Let’s get started,” he said to her, seeing that she was waiting for him outside his hut.

“I don’t think they like me,” said Rey, gesturing to the Lanai as they made their way to the temple.

“Can’t imagine why,” he said, remembering how one of the Lanai had come to him an hour ago complaining about the mess the girl was making.

The temple was at the top of the hill and at first glance, Rey felt completely intrigued by the place. It looked plain, but it had a strong energy surrounding it. There was a mosaic in the middle of the floor that was reflected by the light of the sun. She didn’t know what it was, but she still found it beautiful how the pattern of rocks stuck together could form a figure.

“Master Skywalker, we need you to bring the Jedi back. The First Order is strong with the dark side of the Force. Without the Jedi, we won’t stand a chance against them,” said Rey, just like Leia told her to.

“What do you know about the force?”

“It’s a power that Jedi have that lets them control people… and make things float,” she said, feeling embarrassed about her ignorance.

“Impressive. Every word in that sentence was wrong. Lesson one, sit here, legs crossed,” he answered back pointing to a rock that was at the tip of the cliff. Rey did as he told her. “The Force is not a power you have. It’s not about lifting rocks. It’s the energy between all the things, a tension, a balance that binds everything together.”

“Okay, but what is it?”

“Close your eyes. Breathe. Now reach out.”

Rey lifted her arm to follow his word and concentrated on finding something. It wasn’t working at first, but then she felt something at the tip of her finger. Out of all the times she had used the force before, she had never felt anything like that. This felt much more physical.

“I feel something!”

“You feel it?”

“Yes, I feel it.”

“That’s the Force.”

“Really?”

“Wow, it must be really strong with you.”

“I’ve never felt any…” she started to say with excitement but was interrupted by a hard smack on her hand. She opened her eyes to find Luke with a long leaf in his hand. So, that wasn’t the Force after all. “You meant reach out like…” she said this time looking at him finally understanding what he actually wanted from her. “I’ll try again.”

“Breathe,” he said holding her hand and putting it against the stone to ground her. “Reach out with your feelings.” This time Rey focused more on what she was feeling. She channelled the feeling of wonder and adventure that brought her to Luke. Her need to find answers and to learn more. Her need to find the truth about herself. “What do you see?”

“The island. Life. Death and decay that feeds new life. Warmth. Cold. Peace. Violence,” she said. Everything she was feeling was strong and was matched with the same opposite power.

“And between it all?”

“Balance. Energy. A force.”

Yes, violence and hatred were there, but it was controlled by peace and love just as strong. They needed to co-exist to keep things in check. Keep things balanced.

“And inside you?”

“Inside me that same Force.”

“This is the lesson, that Force does not belong to the Jedi. To say that if the Jedi die, the light dies, is vanity. Can you feel that?”

Rey could feel it. She never understood how she had never noticed it before. It was so strong, and it was all around her. It was life what kept everything going. She felt like that power to feel it had always been inside her. It had been dormant until now. It felt wonderful, but then it changed. The cold, the dark was growing stronger.

“There’s something beneath the island. A place,” she said as she could see it clearly. There was a hole in the ground. It led somewhere. “A dark place. It’s cold,” she added. It was growing stronger and stronger. It was pulling her towards it. Urging her to go and it scared her. “It’s calling me.”

“Resist it, Rey,” she could hear Luke screaming, but it felt distant, and even though that place scared her she still wanted to know what it was. She wanted to get closer.

“There’s something else,” she said as she felt another familiar pull. This one was not cold or dark anymore, but it was much stronger than the dark. This pull felt like peace, like comfort. It felt like it was another part of herself that wanted to be completed. It felt like home. She knew what it was, but just as fast as it came, it was gone and she was back.

“You went straight to the dark.”

“That place was trying to show me something,” she said as she found herself without air and not being able to stand.

“It offered something you needed, and you didn’t try to stop yourself,” he said with horror before turning away. He couldn’t take it anymore. This was the reason he had come to Ahch-To to run away from everything, to run away from the dark that hunted everybody, but somehow it had managed to come to him.

“There was another pull at the end. It felt different from the dark. It felt like…” she said, trying to find the word to describe it “Like it was another part of me. It gave me comfort.”

“The dark has many ways to manifest itself, to lure you to their side, that is why it is so seductive and powerful.”

“It was not the dark.”

“It was. I’ve heard the exact same thing before by someone who also went straight to the dark. Someone with the same raw strength as you. Ben Solo. It didn’t scare me enough back then. It does now,” he said before leaving, but Rey knew he was wrong.

She spent the rest of her day training. She knew Luke was watching her from afar, but after how their last interaction had ended, she decided not to push him any further. Tomorrow she would talk to him. Tomorrow she would try again.

Night was setting upon the island. Rey had just eaten some of the fish the Lanai had offered to her and Chewie after he refused to cook another porg. She was making her way to her hut, to rest, when she felt it again. There was no denying it. What she felt when she reached out to the force was this same connection, this same pull she was feeling right now. It worried her that maybe Luke was right, that maybe the connection she felt was a product of the dark side. It was tied to Kylo Ren’s presence after all, but it did not feel like it was tied to the dark. It felt natural and even peaceful. She couldn’t deny that it made her curious to know more about it. She only wished that Kylo wasn’t behind it.

“I rather not do this now,” she said. It was late, and she was tired. She didn’t want to start another pointless fight with him again.

“Yeah, me too.”

“I know that this thing didn’t start on…” she said as she was turning around to face him. He was shirtless, and Rey forgot how to speak for a moment when her eyes landed on his bare torso. “Do you have something you can put on?” she asked, not being able to stop herself from blushing. It wasn’t like she had never seen a man shirtless before. She had seen plenty back at Jakku. The heat in the desert was excruciating, so many men opted to work without a shirt, but this time she felt different and she couldn’t control it, even her heart started to beat faster. “I know that this thing, this connection or whatever it is, didn’t start when you looked into my mind back at Starkiller base.”

“No, it started way long before that,” he said absolutely sure of his words. Ever since he was ten years old. He had felt that strange connection that he was feeling now. He remembered trying to follow it, to connect with it through the force, but it always led him nowhere. It felt like he was bumping into a wall and it had always frustrated him because he felt like there was something important on the other side, waiting for him, and now there was no wall. Just Rey. “Have you been having strange dreams too?”

“Yes, you were really there then, in my… our dreams, but I don’t understand. Why us?”

“I don’t know either. I have just as many questions as you do,” he answered, and Rey knew he was telling the truth. She could feel it somehow. There were so many questions that she could not find the answers to. Why? Why was she tied to a man who had only ever cause destruction and pain to those around him? What did it mean?

“Were you going to do it? Were you really going to kill your own father? I saw the look on your face as you drew your weapon. It was full of hatred and anger. You were going to finish him then. You were going to murder him!” she said, fighting back the tears of thinking what could have happened if he had actually done it. If Han were dead.

“If you are so sure of what I was going to do, then why are you asking me?”

“You had a father… you had a whole family who loved you, who gave a dumb about you who were always there for you and you betray them. You are so selfish and so heartless. How could you have done that to them?” she yelled at him, fighting back her tears. Rey had spent all her life alone, wishing and waiting for the things Kylo had all his life. How could he not appreciate that? How could he have no emotion towards them?

“You don’t know the slightest thing about me or my life for that matter. You have no idea what I have been through. The things I had to face alone. Where were they back then?” he asked, and she was left speechless, unable to answer his question. “And you are screaming at me, what for? So, I can lose control and get angry and prove to you I am the monster that you already know I am? Well bad luck, I have been called worse in the past. The words of a worthless pathetic girl who has no idea what she is doing in this war cannot hurt me.”

Rey could not say anything. He was right, even if she didn’t want to admit it. She knew nothing about his life or what made him turn to the dark side. She had only assumed things about him without knowing, just like she had accused him of doing the day before. She didn’t have time to think of an answer because he was gone seconds later, and she was left alone again just like she had wanted, but now there was an ache in her heart that had not been there before.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hi, thank you so much for reading this chapter. I hope you enjoyed it. I really liked the force bond scenes in the movies, so expect to see a lot of them in the chapters to come. Please, feel free to comment. I want to hear your thoughts, opinions or questions about the story. Is there anything you would like to see? What do you think about the force connecting Rey and Ben when they were younger?


	7. Chapter 7

He lied. He told her that her words did not affect him, that he didn’t care about what she thought about him, but it wasn’t true. He did care and for some weird unknown reason he did not want her thinking about him as a monster, but yet her words still frustrated him. She knew nothing about him or his family. She didn’t know how they had treated him since he was born. She had never seen the fear and hatred they had in their eyes whenever they looked at him. He was a monster; he had always been a monster to them. It was pointless to deny it.

Snoke was still angry at him. He didn’t waste any opportunity to remained him of his failure. Kylo never talked back again during those conversations. He just let all of Snoke’s insults sunk in, but the strange thing was that anger was not overpowering him anymore. A few days ago, those insults would have led to several episodes of pure manic rage. Sure, he still broke things to pieces, but not to the extent he normally would have. He had never in his life felt such control over his emotions. Kylo didn’t know, but Snoke had felt this subtle shift in his apprentice. That’s why he had started to see him more and focused on telling him things that would make him even angrier. At first, Snoke had thought that this shift had to do with Han Solo, but it wasn’t just that. He could feel that there was something else. Something that he did not know about.

“I see that your wound has healed, yet the scar will always remain there. Good. It would be a reminder of your failure, of how useless you were by letting your past cloud you.”

“I don’t care about the past. I don’t care about Han Solo or any of them anymore. The past is dead. All I care about is serving the dark side,” said Kylo Ren as he was kneeling in front of his master with no mask on this time. He had smashed it to pieces the last time they had met.

“You have devoted these last few days to finish your assignments with the files. It surprised me that you managed to not screw that up too.”

“Does this mean I can resume my normal post now?”

“I am not sure if you should. I still doubt if taking you under my wing was the right course of action. I always knew that you were the descendant of Darth Vader, even before the first moment I contacted you. I could feel that you could be the one to fulfil his legacy, to do what Luke Skywalker failed to do, but now I fear that you would never be as strong as Vader. I fear that you will never be able to finish what he started,” Snoke said, looking at Kylo with disgust. He was using his greatest fears against him to make him channel his anger and hatred towards the light, but Kylo could not let the anger overcome him because there was something about what Snoke had said that had distracted him.

_Before the first moment, I contacted you._

“You told me you didn’t know about Vader being my grandfather. That you found out at the same time I did and that my mother had kept it from me to limit my power.”

“Yes, I told you what you needed to hear at the moment so you could join me. I knew the right time would come for me to tell you, but the press beat me to it. It doesn’t really matter. Either way, you were always going to end up here. It was your destiny. There is too much power inside you for the light, but you will never reach your full potential if you keep being so easily seduced by it,” answered Snoke, seeming to be unfaced by Kylo’s words. “There will come a time when you will have to prove your loyalty. I can sense it. When the time comes, I will know for sure what you are capable of.”

“I will not let you down, Master,” said Kylo, but there was a slight doubt in his tone.

Kylo had thought that Snoke had never lied to him, but if he was capable of lying about his knowledge of Vader being his grandfather, could he have possibly lied about other things too?

* * *

The only thing Rey could think about was her last interaction with Kylo. Even though he told her he didn’t care about what she said, she still could see the pain in his eyes. There was a deep sorrow she had never seen before. She accused him of being heartless and selfish, yet his reaction to it proved that he did have a heart deep down. Now, for the first time since their connection had started, she knew exactly what to say to him.

“Still can’t reach the Resistance?” said Rey as she walked into the Falcon looking for a distraction.

 _“Nothing, I am starting to think that maybe there is something wrong with our controls,”_ answered Chewie who was surrounded by a flock of the little strange birds who lived in the island.

“Keep at it. If you get through, check their status. And ask about Finn,” she said before leaving the ship. She was worried about them. It wasn’t normal for her to be worried about others, but now she really had friends. Friends who also cared about her as much as she cared about them. She hoped that Finn had recovered from his injuries and was doing all right. Poe would definitely be with him. There was a spark in his eyes every time he came to visit that was undeniable. Rey for a minute felt jealous. She had never had such an intense connection with someone before. The closest thing she had to that was… what the hell was she thinking about? That was nothing compared to what Finn and Poe had, and just as she was thinking about it, he was there again.

“I-I,” Rey stuttered.

_Get it together, Rey. There is no way he knows what you were thinking about. Focus._

“Why were you angry that day?” she asked, and he looked at her strangely, not knowing what she was talking about. He was always angry. “In the memory. When we were younger. You were angry. Why? I know you saw it too.”

She was right; he had seen it too. He remembered the night a small girl got into his hut while he was having another episode of anger encouraged by Snoke. He was still at Luke’s academy back then, and he had thought she was just another one of the small children his uncle was training. He could also remember how the anger, the hatred, everything disappeared when he saw her. He had looked for her the next day, but after not being able to find her, he gave up and didn’t tell anyone. Everyone already hated him. He didn’t want them to also think he was crazy, so he kept it to himself. He didn’t even tell Snoke. It felt like something so personal that he just couldn’t share with anyone. Eventually, he forgot about it until he had that dream.

“Why do you care?”

“Because there must be a reason the force is connecting us. It might have something to do with what happened that day and also…” she closed her eyes briefly before uttering the next part. “I was wrong. I really know nothing about your life. I was just making assumptions based on the few facts I know. I don’t understand you, like at all, but I am willing to find out what let you to where you are now.”

“What?” said Kylo. It was the only thing he could say. Why would she want to listen to him? After how he had treated her, she still wanted to give him the benefit of the doubt? But there was nothing else to know. She had been right to call him a monster. It didn't matter what he said, nothing could change that, and yet, he still felt like he needed to tell her everything.

“I said I am willing to listen, but you have to admit that you also made assumptions about me. You think I am just some peon who follows orders without thinking, but you are wrong. I am so much more than that!”

“I know,” he said, unable to stop himself from denying it. He had been wrong to assume that. She really was more than that, at least to him.

“So, why were you angry?”

“Some boys at the academy burned my calligraphy set, so I punched them. When Luke found out, he said nothing to those boys. Instead, he yelled at me and accused me of being too violent,” he confessed. And it was true. Luke said nothing to those boys because he was so focused on what Kylo had done to care. He was scared that his nephew had used the dark side to defend himself, and he felt like he had to punish his actions to keep him in check.

“You had a calligraphy set?” asked Rey, finding it hard to believe that the mighty Kylo Ren used to draw fancy letters on parchment scrolls.

“Yes, why were you crying?”

“I had found very good parts on one of the yards. I think they were from an imperial ship; I don’t know. I can’t remember exactly, but I was excited to trade them. They were going to get me a lot of portions, but then two other scavengers came and saw me with what I had found. They took it all away from me. I was a child, there was no way I stood a chance against them,” she said while she looked at the floor to avoid his gaze pretending to be distracted with some of the flowers the Lanai had planted. “But I didn’t cry because of that. I knew I could get more parts, that wasn’t the problem. I cried because after they left, I realized that there was no one to defend me. No one who cared about what had happened to me,” she added, looking at him this time.

Kylo nodded, understanding exactly how she had felt that day. He knew that what he had written done on his calligraphy set wasn’t that important. He knew he could just get another one and write it all again. He didn’t mind the work, on the contrary, he enjoyed it. It was the only distraction he had back at the academy. The thing that really bothered him, that made him mad, was Luke’s reaction. He acted like he didn’t care about what had happened to him. By that time, it had been almost a year since his parents had come to visit. He was alone. There was no one left who cared about him.

“I felt the same way.”

“Do you think that’s why we saw each other? Because we were feeling the same way?”

“Could be,” he answered. It surprised him to learn that Rey could understand how he had felt that day. They both had grown up in different planets, under different conditions, but yet she was the only one who had experienced similar things to him, or at least she had felt the same way about them. Is that why the force was connecting them because they could understand things about their past that no one else could? “You should lower your hand when you grip the hilt of the lightsaber,” he said, looking at the burns she had on her hand because of the blade. “It will feel like you have less control of it, but it gives you more flexibility and with time it will not be so hard to manage.”

“I don’t need your teaching.”

“It’s not teaching. It’s just some advice to stop you from burning your hand,” he shot back, but this time there was no bitterness in his voice.

“Thanks, I will keep it in mind,” said Rey, and then he was gone.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hi, thank you so much for reading this chapter. I hope you enjoyed it. Next chapter, we are going to see a familiar planet very important for the Skywalker family. Can you guess which one it is? As always, please, feel free to comment. I want to hear your thoughts, opinions or questions about the story. Is there anything you would like to see? What do you think will happen next?


	8. Chapter 8

Rey was practising with her staff against a big pile of rocks in one of the cliffs of the island. Normally whenever she held her staff, she felt confident and secure, but this time it felt like the weapon in her hand was not right for her. Like she was not meant to use it anymore. She turned to her bag where Luke’s lightsaber was kept. It was calling to her again, urging her to use it, so she took it out and activated the saber. In the last few days, she had managed to learn a lot about its use. She didn’t know if what she was doing was the proper way to willed it, but it felt right to her. She only had some minor issues. It was difficult to keep her balance, and she had burned her hand twice.

Rey remembered Kylo’s “advice” and this time she decided to take it. It couldn’t hurt to give it a try, so she spread her feet further and lowered her hand to the bottom of the hilt. She started to turn and swing around with it, pretending that the big pile of rocks in front of her was an opponent. At first, just like he had said, she felt like the position in her hand granted her less control, but as she kept going, she started to manage it and it gave her more flexibility. Soon, for the first time since Starkiller base, she felt like she knew exactly what to do. She knew every move to follow and her focus was centre completely on the blade. She got so into it she didn’t realize that she had cut the rock in two, sending it flying to the bottom of the cliff, thankfully missing two Lanais as it went down.

“You have gotten better in this last few days,” said Luke, who had been watching all this time from afar. “How? I never taught you how to do that.”

“I had to figure it out myself… I don’t know it just feels natural like the Force is guiding me” she answered, and it was partially true. The Force was really guiding her. She could feel it getting stronger as she held the lightsaber, but she couldn’t deny that Kylo’s advice had also helped. She hoped that Luke would not interrogate her further about it. She was not a good liar, and he was very perceptive. Lucky for her, he just nodded, showing that he understood what she was talking about.

“I know I promised you three lessons. I still owe you two more. Tomorrow we will continue with them, but after we are finished, I hope you realize that there is no point in following the Jedi’s teachings anymore.”

“That’s not true. How can you say that?” asked Rey. All the stories about the Jedi and how they devoted their lives to save the galaxy couldn’t just be false. Surely there had to be something in their teaching worth following.

“I say this because I have seen them fail before. You came here to get me, but I am afraid to tell you it won’t happen. I have no reason to leave this island,” he said. Rey was about to protest, to scream at him again for his stubbornness, but before she could he spoke again. “We will not discuss this further today. I have more important things to do.” 

“I’ve seen your daily routine. You are not busy. What could you possibly have to do that is more important than this?”

“I already said what I had to. We will talk tomorrow and that is final,” he said before leaving.

After what had happened with Rey a day ago. Luke felt confused and lost. She had described the same feeling Ben had years ago. It shook his body to the core. He didn’t want to accept it, but by that time the darkness in his nephew had already risen. Snoke had him and was not letting him go. He remembered what he had said to him that day. He told him to resist it, to resist both pulls because it was the dark calling him. Although Rey was also tented by the dark, it didn’t have a hold on her completely. It was the last pull that kept her out of it, but how was that possible? Was that last pull something even darker and much more powerful and sinister? And why could she feel it too?

He knew he had to turn to the force for answers, but that entailed letting himself open up to what he had closed himself off for so long. It entailed feeling Leia again, but it was the only way. He had to know, even if he couldn’t do anything about it. He went to the temple and sat on the same rocks Rey had sat before and focused on the energy around him. He started to feel it again. The same familiar feeling that had always been there inside of him. He felt the island and the surrounding creatures. He could feel the perfect balance of the place. He felt safe.

_‘Luke.’_

He could hear her calling to him, but he closed it as soon as he felt it. He was not ready to face her after everything he had done. He had to stay focus on what he came here to do. Look for answers. He searched everywhere for the new darkness he believed to be preying on Rey. The same darkness that had also preyed on Ben, but there was nothing. No new darkness. No answers.

* * *

Snoke had lied. He had always known the truth about Vader. Snoke had told him at the time that his mother had kept it from him to limit him, to blind him from his real power and destiny. He had cried when he had found out about it because it meant that the blood of a monster was running through his vein. It meant that he could be just like him. He already felt the dark calling to him. He was resisting it, but it was too strong, too powerful. He was alone when he had found out, but Snoke came to him. He was the only one that listened. The only one who knew his fears and was not afraid of him. The only one who cared. He had assured him that the darkness inside him was not something to turn away from, that it was what he was truly meant to become. That he was destined to fulfil the legacy his grandfather had started, and that Luke was only limiting his power, but he didn’t understand why he had kept the truth from him for so long? Why did he wait?

As this question ran through his head, he could also not help to think about the file with the strange name. He had to access the file, but how? He couldn’t ask Snoke for permission, obviously. It was heavily encrypted. The only way to gain access was through the main control panel, where there were hundreds of people always coming and going. He couldn’t just barge in and use a computer to get access. No, he had to do this when there were few people around so no one could suspect. He could easily mind control the guards, erase the security footage and get what he needed before anyone noticed, but it had to be done at the right time.

It was getting late and there was no point in trying to do anything right now, so he went back to his cabin to get some rest. He normally didn’t sleep much, but since the weird connection with Rey had opened, he found himself able to sleep for more hours than normal, so he laid down on his bunk and waited for sleep to come.

_There was a lake in front of him, and several plants and flowers were decorating the place where he stood. It was familiar. He remembered coming here as a child with Leia, not really knowing where they were, only knowing that the place had long ago belonged to his grandmother. The beauty of the planet always fascinated him. It felt like you were standing on holy land, like everything in it was sacred._

_“Where are we?” asked a voice. He knew she was there too. He had sensed her coming. “It’s so beautiful,” she added with a smile on her face, fascinated by everything around her. When he saw her smile something inside of his chest started pounding._

_“We are in Naboo. This house used to belong to my grandmother.”_

_Rey’s smile faded slightly upon hearing his words. She had never heard about the women who had given birth to two of the most famous humans of the galaxy. Had she been in love with Darth Vader? Was she a sith like him?_

_“She was not a sith, she was a politician,” he answered, and Rey only nodded before realizing she hadn’t said anything. At first, she thought that maybe he had entered her mind again just like he had done in Starkiller base, but it didn’t feel like that at all. Back then she had felt invaded and vulnerable under his power, and now it felt more like they were having a conversation like they were sharing things without even noticing. She could feel his force signature stronger than ever before, and the pull that came with his presence was also there just as powerful. She turned to look at him, and he seemed just as amazed about what had happened between them._

_‘Can you hear my thoughts?’ she transmitted through the force without speaking to see if it was really happening._

_‘No, I don’t think it works like that. I can only hear what you want me to hear.’_

_‘I didn’t want you to hear that, though.’_

_“You must have done it unconsciously,” he said verbally this time. It felt wrong to be communicating through their bond. He wasn’t used to the feeling. It felt too intimate._

_‘Can you hear me now?’_

_“Yes,” he answered, frustrated. She could sense that it made him uncomfortable, so she decided to not push it further._

_“Can you do this with anyone who is force sensitive?”_

_“No, not at this level. Sometimes it is possible to project emotions or short messages, but only when you have a strong bond with the person on the other side” he said, and she only nodded back. They were quiet for a while as they became distracted with the view. Rey had been to a few places since she left Jakku, but none of them were as beautiful as this one. Not even Ahch-To with its vast amount of green and life. There was something about this place that was just so peaceful and magical, and Rey found that she couldn’t get enough of it._

_“I know Darth Vader was once a Jedi,” she finally said, breaking the silence. She remembered the admiration Kylo had towards him. She had sensed it when she had looked into his mind. She had also sensed his fear of not being able to fulfil his legacy._

_“Yes, he was, before he realized how pathetic and worthless they truly are,” he said bitterly._

_“Why do you think the Jedi are worthless? Is it because they are kind? Because they have compassion?”_

_“Compassion?” he shot back, laughing sarcastically. “Do you know it was the Jedi who took Darth Vader away from his mother when he was just a boy? Do you know it was them who never let him see her? The Jedi do not believe in emotions. They suppress them. Passion, love, anger, hatred, everything that truly makes us feel alive is forbidden and anyone who dares to oppose their teachings is wrong.”_

_“Is that why you went to the dark side? Because they did not let you feel?”_

_“It was one of the many reasons, yes.”_

_“And is it better? Does Snoke let you feel? I don’t think he does otherwise you wouldn’t have all that anger and sadness bottling inside you,” she said firmly, and he found himself unable to contradict her words._

* * *

Rey followed Luke to the temple for her second lesson. The man seemed more distracted than ever before as they walked the many stairs to get there. Rey tried to be polite at first by asking him how he had slept, but his answer was short and cold. She knew he still didn’t want to talk, but he had promised that they would, and she had many things to tell him.

“Lesson two. Now that they are extinct the Jedi are romanticized, deified. But if you strip away the myth and look at their deeds, the legacy of the Jedi is failure. Hypocrisy hubris,” said Luke when they reached the temple. It surprised Rey, the resemblance between Luke’s and Kylo’s beliefs about the Jedi. They were practically the same. “At the height of their powers, they allowed Darth Sidious to rise, create the empire, and wipe them out. Their teachings caused more harm than good.”

“So then fix it,” said Rey, not being able to contain herself anymore. Luke looked at her with surprise after she had said that. “If you know that the Jedi’s teachings are wrong, then why don’t you write new ones, better ones? Why don’t you fix them?”

“I would only make it worse. I have no place in the galaxy anymore. I have failed. You may believe I am a legend from all the stories you have heard, but I can assure you, I am nothing but that.”

“You saved the galaxy. You saved Darth Vader, the most hated man in the galaxy. You were the only one who saw that there was conflict inside him. You believed that he wasn’t gone. That he could be turned. You didn’t give up back then. Why are you given up now?” she yelled in frustration. Luke was not looking at her anymore. His face was full of sorrow and shame. Rey upon realizing the effect her words had on him tried to stay calm. Yelling and getting angry would not change things, and she knew it. “You are a legend, and the galaxy needs a legend right now. They need someone who can show them their way in this war. I need someone who can show me my place in all this, and I know that you are the only one who can do that,” said Rey, not knowing how wrong she was.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hi, thank you so much for reading. I hope you enjoyed it. Feel free to comment. I want to hear your thoughts, opinions or questions about the story. Is there anything you would like to see? What did you enjoy about this chapter?


	9. Chapter 9

_Rey was dreaming again, only this time it didn’t feel like a dream. It felt more like a memory, but it wasn’t her memory. She had never been to this planet before. It was dark and full of rocks. They were so many that it was almost impossible to walk. She was making her way around them until she realized that she wasn’t alone. She was standing on a cliff next to two figures that seemed to be unaware of her presence. She felt darkness radiating from them, but there was also some light. Small, but strong and centred._

_“Where are we? What is this place?” asked Kylo._

_“This place is nothing. It’s just some rocky world in the Rarlech system,” replied Snoke._

_“If it’s nothing, then why did you bring me here?”_

_“Because, my young apprentice, this is where we are going to have our first lesson. Tell me, are you afraid?”_

_“No, I am not,” said Kylo firmly, looking straight into Snoke’s eyes with defiance to prove his point. Snoke laughed and before Kylo could say anything he was suspended in the air and brought to the edge of the cliff where Snoke held him steady with the Force._

_“Yes, you are,” he said, and he was right, now Kylo Ren was afraid. “I can feel it, but perhaps you are not scared enough” he added before sending a bolt of lightning to his body. Kylo felt like his body was coming apart like it was being crushed into a hundred pieces. The pain was unbearable. At the sight of this, Rey felt a shiver going down her entire body. She turned pale and her eyes started to water at the torture scene she was witnessing. “You should be scared. You have no control, but that’s good. What you are feeling right now is good. Powerless men turn to hatred and you need hatred. I know you have a lot of it in you, so stop controlling it and let it out. Let it consume you,” he ordered and then Kylo was falling._

_“No!” Rey screamed as she watched him fall, but no one could hear her. She had tears in her eyes now. There was nothing she could do to stop him. She didn’t want Kylo to die, not like that. Not by the hand of a monster like Snoke._

_But Kylo didn’t die. Following the guidance of Snoke, he channelled his hatred towards everything and used the Force to stop his fall and bring him back to the cliff. The effort took a lot of him. He fell to the floor and didn’t move for a few seconds, trying to catch his breath. Rey was only able to let a gasp of relief come out of her._

_He was alive._

_Snoke was smiling now, happy about the outcome. He made his way over to Kylo and gave him a small pat on the back to show that he was content._

_“Would-would you have rescued me if I wasn't able to safe myself?” asked Kylo now that he could breathe normally. Snoke laughed again. This time louder._

_“Silly boy, Luke Skywalker may have, but in doing so he would have hindered your progress. I want you to find your true power and potential. That is the only way you can ever rule the galaxy by my side. I will not limit you like he did, isn’t that what you want?”_

_“Yes.”_

_And then everything went black for a second._

Rey was back now, and she was panting and gasping for air on the floor of her hut. Kylo was there too. He had also seen the memory and was in the same state of shock that Rey was in. He remembered that day. The pain Snoke had inflicted on him could not be forgotten easily.

“When-when did that happen?” asked Rey when she recovered her breath.

“Not long after I left the light.”

“Why did you go to him?”

Rey couldn’t understand how he had willingly left everything for someone like Snoke. She was no stranger to abuse. Unkar Plutt had never been kind to her in the brief time she was under his care. He constantly insulted her and even slapped her when she didn’t find good parts for him. So, she didn’t understand how he had submitted himself voluntarily to work with Snoke.

“He was the only person I had. He had always been there for me when no one was since I was a boy. He promised me things I had always wanted. He is the only one who cares about me.”

“Cares about you? Nobody who really cares about you would ever treat you like that,” she said, almost screaming at him with frustration. His gaze was hallowed like he couldn’t phantom what he was hearing like he didn’t want to believe her words. “I had no one who cared about me when I was growing up. You have no idea how long I have wanted to have someone who did. I wanted a family... I want a family,” she added, but this time her voice was not firm anymore. It was shaking just like her entire body and she couldn’t help the tears streaming down her face as she recalled her lonely childhood. “But I would prefer to keep being alone than being treated like garbage.”

As the words left her mouth, Rey wasn’t sure if she would have preferred to be alone. If someone in Jakku had promised her everything she ever wanted she didn’t know if she could have turned that offer away. If someone had shown the slightest bit of concern, she probably would have welcomed it, even if it meant that the other person was not always going to be kind, but that hadn’t happened to her so she didn’t know if she would have done things differently than Kylo.

“I deserved to be treated that way,” he said in a slight whisper. Rey turned to look at him to see if he had the same emotions she had in her eyes, but there was nothing there. He was hiding it.

“No, you didn’t,” she told him.

His words were familiar to her. It was something she had thought a lot about in the past. Maybe her parents were not really coming back, maybe they had abandoned her for a reason. Maybe she deserved the slaps Plutt had thrown at her, maybe there was something wrong with her.

“There is nothing wrong with you Rey. Nothing,” he said looking at her this time. He could feel her sadness and all he wanted to do was hold her until it was gone, but he knew he couldn’t do that. They were on opposite sides of the war. They weren’t supposed to be talking to each other like this. They weren’t supposed to know each other this intimately, but it was too late now. The bond was open, and there was nothing they could do to close it.

* * *

_No, you didn’t._

Rey’s words had stuck with him for the next hour, making him unable to fall back to sleep. He just couldn’t stop thinking about their last interaction, about her tears, her emotions and her compassion towards him. No one had ever looked at him that way. It had stirred something inside of him that he couldn’t quite explain. But she was wrong. She didn’t know that what Snoke had done that day had been for his benefit. It made him stronger. Still, as he tried to convince himself of this, something was also telling him that if Snoke truly cared, he wouldn’t have treated him that way. He wouldn’t have tortured him or hid things away from him, like the truth about his linage. It made him think about the file he had seen. The one that he did not have access to. Something was telling him that he needed to see it, that he needed to find out what else Snoke was hiding from him.   
It was late at night, which meant that there would be few guards guarding the main control panel. He could see it right now if he wanted to. Did he want to? He asked himself and denied it for a few minutes, but Rey’s face filled with tears kept coming back and suddenly he knew what he had to do.

He left his bed and when he got there, just as he had predicted, there were only two stormtroopers with blasters on their hands guarding the entrance. This would be easy for him.

“Sir, we weren’t informed you would be coming here at this hour,” said one of them, shaking slightly with nerves as he saw Kylo Ren walking towards them.

“You weren’t? How odd. It must have slipped General Hux to inform you,” he told them in his usual cold and authoritarian tone that he always used around the base.

“I find that hard to believe since the General is very strict on…” the other stormtrooper was starting to say, but as he saw Kylo’s expression he changed his mind to avoid any unwanted consequences. “But I am sure that you would never lie about that, sir. It must be the General’s mistake,” he added. Kylo nodded, pleased with his words and the two stormtroopers lowered their blasters as they made room for him to enter.

“You will forget I was ever here and when I leave you will not remember seeing me,” said Kylo as he controlled their minds. He had to make sure that nobody knew about this, especially Snoke. He just couldn’t risk it. He was about to enter when he remembered something. “You will also tell the other stormtroopers that you saw General Hux kneeling before Kylo Ren and admitting that he is much more competent and superior than what he could ever wish to be,” he added unable to contain himself knowing that the comment would bother Hux to no end.

The control panel was the centre of the base and the place where all the information of the First Order was gathered. The plans and strategies were all documented there. Now what he had to do if he wanted to see the file was to find a way to get access. There were two ways to do this: one was to put in a formal request and wait for clearance and the other was to hack the main computer. So Kylo got to work knowing that it would take him quite a while to finally gain access. It took almost two hours, but he was finally in. There was a lot of information on the file. A lot of documents about the Empire and how it used to work. Nothing unusual really. Kylo was starting to think that maybe this was a mistake. That he had been paranoid and manipulated by Rey’s words, but then he spotted a document with his name on it. No, not his name. It was the name of the man he used to be. Ben Solo.

He felt his blood run cold as he read the entire document. There were just heaps and heaps of information about his life, even about his parent’s life. They had always been watching him, but what left him in a state of shock was when he looked at the notes. They were filled with strategies to lure him to the dark side, documentation of his fears and the best way to manipulate him to gain his power. Snoke had been the one to realise the information about Kylo’s heritage behind his back. He was the one who told Leia’s political opponent everything. He knew that it was the perfect way to hurt Kylo even further. It was the perfect way to turn him away from his family. The entire galaxy had found out the truth about his family before him. It made him more upset, angrier, and it isolated him from everything he had previously believed to be true.

But the moment he finally lost it was when he read how Snoke had impersonated the voice he had always believed to be his grandfather. He was lied to by the only person who had sworn to only tell the truth. The only person who had shown him how wrong his parents had treated him for being different, but that person had lied all this time. Snoke didn’t care in the slightest about him, he had only ever wanted his power.

He wanted to destroy the whole computer right there, but he knew it would only cause him trouble, so he shut it down, not wanting to read any of the other documents that were in the file, and left with his hands clenched into fists. When he finally made it to his room, that’s when he let it all out. He punched the floor so hard until his knuckles were covered in blood. Tears were streaming down his face and he felt like he couldn’t breathe anymore. He was having a panic attack. He didn’t know how long he had stayed on the floor or when he had fallen asleep, but the next day when he woke up, he found himself in his bed with only one thought in his mind.

Rey was right.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hi, thank you so much for reading. I must admit that this chapter was very hard to write. I think something we tend to forget about Ben's story is that it is one of abuse and grooming. Snoke targeted him specifically and spent years trying to lure him to the dark side for his own gain. I hope I did a good job of portraying this in the first scene. As always, please feel free to comment. I want to hear your thoughts, opinions or questions about the story. Is there anything you would like to see?


	10. Chapter 10

After her last her interaction with Kylo, Rey’s mind was going crazy. Their last encounter had proved to her that he was human and that he had been hurt just as much as she had in the past. He wasn’t the monster everyone believed him to be. He was the victim of Snoke. Snoke was the actual monster. He had taken advantage of Kylo all this time, praying on his loneliness and desires, manipulating him to have his power, and he had succeeded. Kylo was devoted to his cause now. He had done so many horrible things for the First Order, he even believed in their ideals.

Her mind wandered to the conversation she had with Luke. She remembered what she told him. He was the only one who could see that there was still hope left in the galaxy when no one could. Everyone believed Vader to be gone completely, to be a lost cause, but they had been wrong. He was not lost. There was conflict inside him. There was light, just like she could feel there was still light in Ben.

Ben. Yes, that is who he was after all. Kylo had told Han that Ben Solo was dead, but he was wrong. He was still there, and she knew it. There was still hope for him.

The Force must have heard her thoughts because he suddenly appeared in her hut. She couldn’t help to smile slightly at his presence, but there was something different about him this time. He looked tired, sad, and almost desperate. There was even dry blood all over his hand.

“What happened?” she asked, concerned for him.

“It’s nothing.”

“I didn’t think the Force would connect us again so soon.”

“I was thinking about you, maybe that’s why,” he admitted, and Rey couldn’t help blushing. What was happening to her? Why was she blushing? She never blushes.

“I was thinking about you too.”

“Rey, you were right. You were right about Snoke. He doesn’t care about me. He is just using me for my power,” he said with a lot of anger in his voice. But it was not directed at her. “That’s why I am leaving the First Order and I want you to come with me.”

“Come with you? To where?” she asked, not believing a word she was hearing. She had to admit that his sudden change of heart surprised her. She didn’t expect it to be so soon, but the last part shocked her the most. He was actually leaving, and he wanted her to come with him.

“I don’t know yet. Anywhere away from all of this. It’s time to let old things die. Snoke. Skywalker. The sith. The Jedi. Let it all die. Let them destroy each other if that’s what they want. We don’t belong with neither of them.”

“What are you talking about? We run away? And what for? To do what?”

“We could learn a new way to use the Force. Explore the galaxy and get rid of the past. Kill it if we have to.”

“And what good will that do? Hiding away from everything, letting the First Order control the galaxy and letting people die, letting the resistance die. The ones who have devoted their lives to save the galaxy from evil. Ben, how can you say that? Your family…”

“No, you are still holding on. Let go. Don’t you see that they are using you too? The resistance is only using you so you can defeat the First Order, and once you are done, they will leave you behind just like your parents did.”

“Don’t talk about my parents!” she said, fighting back tears at the memory of them.

“You want to know the truth about your parents? You have always known. You know the truth. Say it,” he said harshly as he remembered what he saw when he went inside her mind. “Say it.”

There were tears on her face now. She knew the truth; he was right. She had always known the truth, but yet she always wanted to give them the benefit of the doubt. She wanted to believe that life could not be so cruel, that it wasn’t true, that they would come back for her one day and end all her loneliness, but they never did, and she was always alone.

“They were nobodies.”

“Yes, they abandoned you. They treated you like you were nothing, like garbage, but you are not nothing, Rey. Not to me. Please join me. Come with me,” he said as he held his hand to her.

Ben understood her. He knew what it was like to be lonely and neglected your entire life. She had shared things with him she had never talked about with anyone, and the pull, the connection she felt towards him was so strong. She wanted to be with him, get to know him more and find out what this thing between them was, but not like this. If she went with him now, then the galaxy would be lost. People would die and suffer when she could have done something to prevent it. She had accused Luke of being wrong for not doing anything, for hiding away when he could be fixing his mistakes. How would she be any better if she did the same? If she just went away and left everything behind? Leave her friends, the new family she had created, to die? No, she couldn’t.

“I can’t, Ben.”

“Do not call me that!” he said with anger, but there was a desperation in his eyes she had never seen before. “Please, Rey,” he added this time much softer taking a few steps closer and offering his hand for her to take.

“I am sorry. This is not the way,” she said and closed the connection between them, knowing that if he had stayed any longer, she might have given in.

* * *

Things with Rey didn’t go as planned. He thought she wanted the same things that he did, but she was still blinded by the fake promises the resistance had made her. She was a peon, and he had been wrong to think she could be more than that. It didn’t matter. He didn’t need her. He was going to leave anyway, with or without her. He would be fine on his own, but all the things he kept telling himself were lies, no matter how much he wanted to believe them. She had left a void inside of him when she denied him. He wanted to be with her, he really wanted them to be together wherever he went. They were feelings inside of him towards Rey that he hadn’t quite let himself explore. He cared about her in a way he had never cared for someone before, and the connection they shared through the Force was very strong and intriguing. He had to forget about that now. She had made her choice, and so had he.

But there was still one more thing calling to him. The file. He didn’t finish reading it. It wouldn’t matter anyway, nothing he could find in it could change his mind, but he needed to know the truth. The entire truth of what Snoke had done. So, he decided not to leave yet. He would go to the main control panel again at night, and once he finished reading it, he would leave for good. There was no turning back now.

* * *

As soon as Rey managed to close the connection, she fell to her knees sobbing. She was angry. Angry at him for choosing a path she could not follow. How could he be such a coward? How could he act so indifferent to it all? And he had dared to mention her parents. Something which he knew pained her deeply. He had used it against her to hurt her on purpose.

She spent the rest of the day in her hut, only coming out to eat. Luke hadn’t looked for her either. He was probably happy to get rid of her for once. Since she had arrived on Ahch-To she had used all her energy to convince Luke to go back to help the resistance, but he hadn’t listened and honestly, she was tired of trying to change his mind. If he wanted to hide away from everything like a child, then fine, she would let him. The only problem was that now there was no hope left for the galaxy. Ben could have helped to fight Snoke, but he chose to follow the example of his uncle, and hide from everything. What was she supposed to do? She could not defeat Snoke. She could barely use the Force, and Luke was unwilling to teach her. Everything was lost now. Maybe Ben had been right, maybe the only answer was run away from it all.

_She couldn't remember when she had fallen asleep, but she was dreaming again. She only hoped that Ben wouldn’t be there. She wasn’t ready to face him. She was inside a small hut and there was a figure sleeping on the floor. It was Ben. Great, just what she wanted, but this wasn’t the Ben she knew. This Ben was younger, and his hair was shorter._

_The hut was dark, there was not a single light coming from anywhere, but the entire room was suddenly lit by a green light. Rey turned around and saw Luke standing over Ben’s bed with a lightsaber. He was going to kill him; she knew it. But then his eyes changed like he had realized what he was about to do, and they were filled with shame. He was about to lower his weapon and walk away when Ben woke up. Luke tried calling to him, but it was in vain. Ben’s face was full of pain and betrayal. He looked scared, like a lost boy. Upon seeing his uncle, he called for his lightsaber through the force and tore the ceiling of the hut down burring both of them under._

_After that, Ben managed to get out of the ruins, and he was filled with anger. He could not believe what his uncle was about to do. Why would he do that? Snoke had warned him about this, about how Skywalker will try to suppress his power no matter the cost. When he saw his uncle lightsaber in hand ready to kill, he realized that he had been right and that he was a fool for believing otherwise._

_The ground was shaking because of his anger, and out of nowhere a bolt of lightning erupted from the clouds and set the buildings of the Jedi academy on fire. The temple was collapsing. When Ben saw what was happening, he tried to run towards the burning temple to help the students, but another explosion stopped him. As he saw the destruction and death around him, tears invaded his eyes. He fell to the ground sobbing and whispering how he had never wanted for any of this to happen, but a voice from afar kept telling that he did. That it was all his fault._

_Meanwhile, on the other side of the galaxy, Ben was not having visions of his past. No, he knew this wasn’t a memory that belonged to him because he had never been on this part of Jakku before. They were several old ships buried in the sand that he guessed used to belong to the Empire long ago because of their models. Not far from where he stood, two girls were walking in the sand looking for parts among the open hatches of the ships. He knew that one of the girls was Rey. Her force signature was obvious to him now. It was almost intoxicating._

_It appeared that the girls had already collected quite a few things, and despite how horrible the place surrounding them was, they seemed to be happy._

_“Hey, we should look inside this one. It looks like it belonged to someone very important. Maybe we can hit the jackpot,” said Rey’s friend._

_“Teng, I don’t think that is a good idea,” said Rey, but the other girl ignored her and opened the hatch. Rey had been right; they should have never done that. A steelpecker, a carrion bird native to Jakku, attacked Teng, ripping her to pieces. Her blood was everywhere, and Rey couldn’t do anything but watch in shock while tears streamed down her face. When the creature finished with Teng, he realized that there was another prey and started flying towards Rey, who was already running for her life. The creature was fast, and running in the sand was difficult. Ben had to remind himself that this was not really happening, that it was only a memory, and that she was safe, but he still couldn’t help feeling anxious about what he was witnessing. Rey fell, and she didn’t have time to stand up because the creature was already on top of her._

_At the time, she didn’t know how she had been able to avoid the creature’s fatal blows, but it was like her own instincts were predicting his next moves before it struck. Her hand eventually made it to her pocket where she had a knife, she had found some time ago, and had kept for protection. She threw the knife into the creature’s neck, making him stumble into the sand and twitch in pain. Rey didn’t wait for the steelpecker to die. She got up as soon as she could and run to the AT-AT; she called home. Her arms were covered in blood from the scratches and bites the creature had inflicted on her. She cried the entire day thinking about Teng and how she was unable to help her. Ben could do nothing but stare at the young girl in pity. She turned to a wall where she had made many markings and made another one sobbing louder this time._

_“Please, come back for me soon. I don’t want to be alone anymore,” she said as she stared at the wall. That was when Ben understood that the markings on the wall were the days since they had left since they had abandoned her. He could feel all her pain. It was so horrible to see her like this, and without noticing he found himself crying too. He looked at where she had lived. It was impossible to call this place home. He wondered how she had survived in it for so long. The entire place looked like it would fall apart any second, but what intrigued him the most was the sight of a flower growing in the middle of the AT-AT. It was beautiful. Ben thought it was impossible for something with that beauty to grow in such a horrible place, but he reminded himself that Rey had grown up there too, so maybe it wasn’t so impossible after all._

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hi, thank you so much for reading. I hope you enjoyed it. Feel free to comment. I want to hear your thoughts, opinions or questions about the story. Is there anything you would like to see? What did you enjoy about this chapter?


	11. Chapter 11

It was time. It was time to leave. He had already packed a bag with a few things he would need for his travels. He was going to steal a ship and leave the Supremacy forever. He wasn’t coming back. As he packed his things, he looked over at the pieces of his mask he had gathered after smashing it against the walls of the turbolift. He had kept them meaning to repair the mask one day. He thought about taking them with him, but he decided to leave them behind. He would not need it anymore. He had made the mask to honour his grandfather, but now, he knew that the man had never actually talked to him. He had never made an effort to contact him. He was just another person in his life who didn’t give a shit about him.

He made his way to the main control panel and just like he had done the other night; he controlled the stormtroopers’ minds before entering. Now that he knew the right way to hack the computer it didn’t take him long to access the file. He made his way through all the documents, lingering longer on the one that had his name on it, and just like before, most of the documents were about the old Empire, but the last document was about something completely different. He thought he knew everything he needed to know about the Supremacy and Snoke’s real intents, but after reading that document he realized he was just another peon in his game. He couldn’t believe it, what he had just read couldn’t be possible, but if it was all a farce, why keep it as a heavily encrypted file in the main control panel? He wanted to deny everything he had read, but deep inside he knew that it was real, he could sense it now.

He made a copy of the entire file in a small portable data device before returning to his cabin. Not knowing what to do anymore.

* * *

  
The night Ben fell to the darkness. That was what Luke regretted the most, what he was the most ashamed of. She knew that now. He almost killed Ben in a moment of desperation when he felt the darkness that clouded his mind, the darkness Snoke had created, but he wasn’t really going to go through with it. He couldn’t. Luke had hidden this from her when he was trying to explain why he couldn’t go back. She had come here to seek his guidance, but the man was more lost than she was. He couldn’t give her answers. He couldn’t even tell her the truth. The entire truth. What was she doing here? Why had she come? It had all been for nothing. There was nothing here for her, except… that cave. It had called to her with such desperation when she had connected herself with the force. Luke had said that it was the darkness, but maybe it was the only place where she could finally find answers. It was her last option.

As she walked towards it, she could sense the call, the urge to get closer. She kneeled to stare at the hole, but an unexpected force pushed her, and she fell right into the water. Fortunately for Rey, it was not too deep, and she was able to reach the surface and get out of the water quickly. There was a mirror in front of her now. There was darkness emanating from it. It was very strong, and it unsettled her a bit, but still, she kept moving closer, and reached out with her hand to touch it. The whole cave changed when she did, and suddenly there were more versions of her behind and in front of her. It looked like they were going on forever, but Rey knew that they were leading her somewhere, so she kept walking forward until she reached another mirror.

“Let me see them, my family, please,” she begged. The mirror was foggy, but she could see four figures approaching her from the other side. It looked like there were two men and two women. The men were very tall and muscular, while the women were shorter and thin. Rey was dying to see their faces, to see who they were. She needed to know that was all she ever wanted. But as the figures came closer, they morphed into one. Rey touched the mirror again and all the fog was clear, but the figure she was so desperate to see was gone and she was left staring at her own reflection.

She was alone.

Her anger got the better out of her, and she started to scream. She wanted to punch the mirror to break it, but what good will that do? It wasn’t going to give her any answers. It was pointless to break things. She walked back to her hut in silence, thinking about how everything on this island had been a disappointment, especially Luke, but right now she didn’t have the energy to be angry at him. All she wanted to do was cry. She found a blanquette and wrapped it around herself to get dry. It was cold, so she started a fire. She felt her connection to Ben open up again. An hour ago, she had wanted to avoid him completely, but after what had happened, she didn’t care anymore.

“Are you okay?” he asked when he saw that she was crying and staring at the room like she was lost. She only shook her head to answer him.

“Did it really happen? Did Luke really tried to kill you?” she asked back, and he was not expecting to hear that. He had assumed that they had both shared her memory from her childhood last night, just like they had done with the one where he was tortured by Snoke, but it appeared that Rey had seen something else.

“You saw it, and yet you still don’t believe it,” he said, not being able to hide the fact that her question had hurt him.

“I am just asking. I believe it, Ben. If you say it’s real. I also know you didn’t set Luke’s academy on fire.”

“It was me. I was unable to control my anger.”

“No, it was Snoke. He just wanted you to believe otherwise,” she said, meeting his eyes this time. He wanted to believe her, but there was still a voice in the back of his head telling him that it had all been his fault. He didn’t want to argue with her again, so he just nodded. He wanted to get closer to her, to wipe the tears that were coming from her eyes and ask her more about what had caused her sadness, but he didn’t move. The last time they had talked had been a mess, and he didn’t want to push her again, so he just sat down near her and kept quiet. “I thought I’d find answers here. I was wrong. I’d never felt so alone.”

“You’re not alone.”

“Neither are you,” she said and extended her hand towards him. Ben found himself unable to breathe for a second, but he eventually took his glove off and extended his hand to reach her. They had never touched before. They didn’t even know if it was possible to do it through their connection, but he had wanted to do this for so long. He had wanted to touch her, to hold her, and now he finally could. When their hands touched everything around them changed.

_Rey was no longer in her hut. She was in a green forest, and there was peace and balance all around her. She didn’t feel darkness anymore. She didn’t feel conflict emanating from anywhere. Everything was like it was supposed to be: balanced. There were three figures not far away from her. They looked like teenagers. Two girls and one boy. They were laughing like there was nothing to fear. They were so innocent. She could see in their eyes that these kids had never seen a war, had never experienced the hardships that come with one. No, these children had grown up in peace._

_“Guys, it’s getting dark. We should return,” said one of the girls, but her companions rolled their eyes and kept on talking, ignoring her. “Hey, you know Master Rey and Master Solo don’t like it when we stay past our curfew.”_

_What had she just heard?_

_“Master Rey? Master Solo? Really?” said the boy, mocking her with a huge grin on his face._

_Master Solo? That could only mean…_

_“Didn’t they go on some important mission with your aunt?” asked the other girl._

_“Yes, but what if they find out?”_

_“Hannah, come on, don’t be so uptight. Twenty more minutes is not going to hurt anyone,” said the boy, putting his hand on her shoulder._

_“Okay, fine, but if they find out I am blaming you,” replied the girl taking his hand away, and they all erupted in laughter._

The vision was suddenly interrupted, but it was enough for Rey to know what it was. It was the future, a future where the First Order had been defeated, a future where they had won and there was peace again in the galaxy. A future where she was Master Rey, where she and Ben could work together and children could grow up safe. She had been wrong to think that there was no hope left. It had always been there, but it took her this long to finally see it.

When she was back to reality. Luke was screaming and tearing the whole hut apart at the sight of Ben, and that was enough to break the connection. Rey was boiling with anger. How dare he look for her now?

“Why did you do that?” she screamed at him.

“Leave this island, now.”

“I know what happened that night. I know why you left everything behind and came to this island. I saw it,” she said, but he kept walking away from her, he kept ignoring her like he had done since she came here. “Stop running away, you coward. Tell me the truth!”

He stopped walking when she uttered the word coward, and he knew that this time there was no point in running. He turned around to face her and saw her expression of betrayal. The same face Ben had that night.

“I saw darkness. I’d sense it building in him. I’d seen it in moments during his training. But then I looked inside, and it was beyond what I ever imagine. Snoke had already turned his heart. He would bring destruction and pain, and for the briefest moment of pure instinct, I thought I could stop it. It passed like a fleeting shadow, and I was left with shame and consequence. The last thing I saw were the eyes of a frightened boy whose master had failed him.”

“You failed him by thinking that his choice was already made, it wasn’t. It isn’t. If he would fight with us to defeat Snoke, then we could have a bigger chance of winning. Don’t you see it? There is still hope, Luke. You didn’t kill it,” she said, much softer this time.

“You are wrong. There is no hope left.”

“Yes, there is. Just now when we touched hands, I saw the future. As solid as I see you. There was no war, only peace and happiness. We can defeat the First Order,” she said as she remembered Hannah and her friends walking around the forest with not a care in their world, but their curfew and their masters’ disapproval.

“Rey, it’s over. Let it go,” he said. She had tried one last time, but he was too far gone. He had given up completely. There was nothing she could say to make him change his mind.

“You two are more alike than you think. You both are wrong,” she said before running to the Falcon. She knew what she had to do.

“Chewie, we are leaving now,” she said as soon as she got into the ship and saw the wookie at the cockpit.

“What about Luke?”

“Forget Luke, we don’t need him. Start the engine. I’ll be right back,” she ordered him as she went back to her hut to get her belongings. There wasn’t much she had taken with her to Ahch-To anyway, so it didn’t take long. She went to her cabin to leave them there when the bond opened again, but this time it was clear that it was not the Force’s doing. Ben had been the one to open the connection.

“What happened? Are you okay? Where are you going?” he said as he saw her belongings in her hand.

“I am going to the Supremacy.”

“What? Are you crazy? Have you lost your mind?” he asked with desperation.

“No, I know you don’t see it, Ben. But if we work together, we can defeat him.”

“Rey, you don’t understand. This is way too dangerous. He will kill you if you come here. He is far more powerful than what you could ever imagine. There is no way we can…” he was practically begging her at this point. The only thing missing was for him to be on his knees. He didn’t want her anywhere near him, where she could get hurt. He didn’t know what he would do if something were to happen to her.

“I have already made up my mind. I’ll see you when I get there,” she interrupted him before closing the bond.

The future that she saw was possible. She knew it. She thought she needed Luke on her side to make things right, but she didn’t need him. He was a lost cause, but Ben was not. Rey knew they could defeat Snoke, but she had to make him see reason first. She had to take this matter into her hands now. She had to be the one to save the galaxy, and she was not afraid anymore. She knew she could do it.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So you guys met Hannah. What do you think about her? I won’t say much, except that this will not be the last time we will see her in this story. Next chapter there will be many revelations. 
> 
> As always I hope you have enjoyed this chapter. Please feel free to leave a comment. I want to hear your thoughts, opinions, or questions about the story. Is there anything you would like to see?


	12. Chapter 12

Rey was coming to the Supremacy, and it was his fault. He should have told her everything when he had the chance, but now it was too late. The bond was close, and he could feel that she was keeping it that way. She had told him they could defeat Snoke together, but he doubted they could. After reading the file, everything he had ever known to be true was a lie, and Snoke was far more powerful than he could have ever imagined. It was too dangerous, way too dangerous. 

Snoke had called him, and he could only imagine the worse as he approached his lairs.

“I have sensed a great disturbance in the Force,” said Snoke. He must have been referring to what happened when he and Rey touched hands. He had felt it too, how the ground and everything around them had shaken for an instant before he saw it. The future. He was sure it was that. The vision had woken up something in him, hope, and for the first time in his life, Ben wanted to hold on to that hope. “Have you felt it too?”

“Yes, Master.”

“The Jedi girl is coming here,” he said. Ben was blocking Snoke from invading his minds, trying to keep his real intentions hidden, but he must have slipped when he mentioned her because Snoke gave him an odd look for a moment. “You don’t want her to die.”

“No, she has great power. Power we could use in this war. I think she can be turned. There is darkness in her. I can sense it.”

“I can sense it too and yes, I agree, her power could be what we need. When she comes, you will bring her to me, understood?” he ordered, and Ben nodded in return. 

* * *

They were getting closer to the supremacy. Rey’s heart was beating faster than ever, but she didn’t know if it was due to the danger she knew was coming or due to the prospect of seeing Ben. It probably was both. She knew she could do this, but there was a small voice full of fear telling her she couldn’t. She decided to ignore it. It was too late to go back now. It took Chewie a while to understand why they were going to the Supremacy. He had almost not let her go, but after a lot of convincing from her part, he had finally agreed to move forward with the plan. She could tell he still had his reservation, but she knew he would help her no matter what.

“As soon as I launch, you jump back out of range. Stay there until you get my signal for where to rendezvous,” she said as she made her way inside a small escape pod.

“Okay, please be safe.”

“I will if you see Finn before I do, tell him…”

“ _That you had to this to safe the galaxy_.”

“Yes, perfect. Tell him that,” she answered with a sad smile. She was hoping it didn’t need to come to that, and that she would be able to tell Finn herself, but you never knew what could happen, and this wasn’t going to be easy.

“ _We will see each other again, Rey_ ,” he said, and she only nodded before closing the hatch of the pod with Luke’s lightsaber in hand. It was time to go now.

If Rey’s heart was beating fast a moment ago, her heart was now practically beating outside of her chest as she entered the Supremacy. To her surprise, Ben was the first person to greet her. He didn’t look happy to see her. His expression was blank and serious like when they had first met on Starkiller base. The hurt and shimmer in his eyes she had grown accustomed to since their connection started were not there anymore.

When she got out of the pod, some stormtroopers handcuffed her, and then she was rushed to a turbolift where Ben was waiting for her. She didn’t understand what was happening. He said to her he wanted to leave the First Order, and forget about everything, but here he was now, following orders and ignoring her like she was just another prisoner. She knew where he was taking her. She could feel Snoke’s force signature getting stronger as the lift kept ascending. Her mind started to think the worse, that maybe he had said all of that stuff to lure her to the dark side, but it couldn’t be. She remembered that moment, and he had been honest. There was no deceit in his intentions. Perhaps Snoke had left him with no options, he had given up after all. He didn’t think it was possible to make things better. So maybe he had decided to stay since it wouldn’t make any difference, except that it would. Rey knew that now after she had seen a brief glimpse of the future.

“You told me you didn’t care about the First Order anymore, but here you are now, taking me to Snoke. I thought you were done with everything. What happened?” she asked.

“I was wrong. I said all those things in a moment of weakness, but I know better now. I told you not to come here and now you leave me with no choice. I won’t betray Snoke,” he said bitterly. Rey tried opening the bond, trying to feel him through the force to see if what he was saying was true, but he was blocking her out.

“You don’t have to do this. I felt the conflict in you. It was tearing you apart,” she said, turning around to look at him. He was trying really hard to ignore her, but it was difficult. Seeing her looked at him with her eyes full of pain, but also full of hope was driving his senses insane. “Ben, when we touched hands, I saw the future. Just a shape of it, but solid and clear. You will not bow before Snoke,” she said as she got closer to him. “You’ll turn. I’ll help you. I saw it.”

She was really close now, and Ben couldn’t help to look at her lips. They had never been this close before. He had wanted to be this close, though. He had wanted to be even closer than what they were right now. He wanted to touch her, to hold her, to protect her from everything that could hurt her, but he couldn’t do that right now. He had to make her believe that he was back to the dark. He wanted to kiss her right there in the turbo lift, but he had to stay focus on his plan.

“We’ll see,” was all he could say to sound sincere before the door opened to reveal Snoke sitting in his throne. Rey doubted her reasons for coming here now. It obviously hadn’t gone as she had expected. Ben was acting like he was completely devoted to the dark side. Had something happened? Did Snoke mess with his mind? Rey tried to reach him through the force again, and when she did, there was a surprising determination inside of him she had never felt before, and it scared her. It scared her that Luke could be right and that he was lost after all.

“Well done, my good and faithful apprentice. My faith in you is restored,” said Snoke as Ben grabbed her arm, and guided them closer to him. Ben kneeled, and Rey couldn’t help to feel disgusted at the sight of him kneeling in front of someone who had caused him so much pain.

“Young, Rey. Welcome,” he added and unlocked her handcuffs. “Come closer, child.”

She didn’t move. She could sense he was trying to pry into her mind, into her whole soul. It was taking a lot of strength to keep him out. He was very powerful.

“Darkness rises, and light to meet it,” he continued talking. “You have a lot of potential young girl, and I can sense that you have been tempted by the dark before. Closer I said.”

Rey knew what he wanted. She wanted her to turn to the dark side, but she wouldn’t. She would never give in to the dark. No matter how much it tempted her. Snoke was using the force to move he across the floor now to get her closer to him. Rey tried to fight back, but she couldn’t. Keeping him out of her mind was already proving to be a lot for her.

“You underestimate me, and Ben Solo. It will be your downfall.”

“Have you seen something? A weakness in my apprentice. Is that why you came?” he asked. Snoke was reaching into her mind with far too much more power now. It was impossible to keep him out. “Young fool,” he added, laughing. “It was I who bridged your minds. I stoked Ren’s conflicted soul. I knew he was not strong enough to hide it from you. And you were not wise enough to resist the bait.”

Snoke had to be lying. The connection they had did not feel artificial. It felt natural like it had been there all this time, and the memories, the memories they had since they were children, those couldn’t be a product of Snoke. They all had felt so real, so peaceful, and right, like their souls were meant to connect. Every time they saw each other through the Force they felt so drawn to one another like there was an invincible pull urging them to be together. They knew what they had felt had been real. 

“And now, you will give me Skywalker. Then you will bow before me or I will kill you with the cruellest stroke you can ever imagine,” he whispered as he put his hand on her cheek.

“No,” it was all she could say before she was suspended in mid-air. This time she could not keep him out. He was using all of his force to see into her mind. It felt like someone was piercing needles into her skull. It felt terrible. Ben was having a very hard time controlling his temper. He wanted to kill Snoke right now for what he was doing to Rey. He wanted to kill him and torture him just for touching her, but he had to calm down. He had to wait for the right moment.

“Well, well. I did not expect Skywalker to be so wise,” said Snoke laughing when he released Rey, who fell to the floor in pain. “We will give him, and the Jedi Order, the death he desires after we kill every single one of the rebels we will go to his planet, and obliterate the entire island.”

Rey had heard enough by then. She had to fight back now. She would not let him kill everything she loved in the galaxy. She would not let him harm her friends. She stood up and called the legacy lightsaber to her, ready to fight, but Snoke was quicker and called it to him before it could even reach her hand.

“Such spunk. The resistance has already lost, and soon they will all be gone. Not a single one of them will prevail. For you, all is lost.”

But she knew it wasn’t.

“And still that fiery spit of hope,” he said after she called for Ben’s lightsaber. “You have the spirit of a true Jedi.”

She ran at full speed towards him, ready to end him, but he threw her back onto the floor with the lightsaber falling in front of Ben.

“And because of that you must die,” he continued and used the force to bring her to her knees facing Ben. “My worthy apprentice, son of darkness, heir apparent to Lord Vader, where there was conflict, I now sense resolve. Where there was weakness, strength. Complete your training and fulfil your destiny.”

“I know what I have to do,” he said, picking up his lightsaber. This was not how it was supposed to end. This was not how they lost. This was not how she was supposed to die. She was supposed to make things right, she was supposed to become master Rey, but here they were now. She was going to die by the hand of the only person in the whole galaxy who had understood her, who had seen her deepest desires and fears. This was the end.

“You thought you could turn him? Pathetic child. I cannot be betrayed. I cannot be beaten. I see his mind. I see his every intent. Yes. I see him turning the lightsaber to strike and now, foolish child, he kills his true enemy!” he yelled. Rey was waiting for the blow, but it never came. Instead, she fell to the ground and saw Snoke’s body being severed by a lightsaber and then said lightsaber floated to her hand.

Ben had killed Snoke.

He had killed his master.

As she turned around to face him, she felt their connection open this time. She felt his determination to keep her safe, his anger at what had happened and yes, his resolve to stand with her, to fight and not hide anymore.

‘ _Together?_ ’ he asked through the bond.

“Together,” she answered back, and they both started fighting.

Their moves were so synchronized like they had fought many battles together before. The red guards in the room were not easy to defeat. They were very skilled fighters. Rey didn’t know how she did it, but just like in Starkiller base something inside of her came through, and she was able to defeat two guards. When she turned back to look at Ben, he was being choked by one of them, but she reacted quickly and handed him her lightsaber. After that, they were all gone. Snoke was dead. They had won. There was fire around them caused by the fight, but Rey thought it didn’t matter if they were in the middle of the snow, she would have felt warm just by looking at Ben. They were finally together, and the bond had never felt so strong as it felt now. Ben wanted to rush to her and kiss her right there, but it was not the time. There still was something he had to tell her.

“The fleet. There’s still time to save the fleet. We have to get to them,” she said as she rushed to the window to look at the resistance.

“Rey, there is something you need to know first.”

“Whatever it is you can tell me when we get to the resistance. We have to help them now.”

“You have to listen to me. This is important.”

“Ben, it’s over. Snoke is dead.”

“It’s not over, Rey,” he said with sadness in his eyes as she turned around to look at him. She was starting to get scared now.

“What do you mean?”

“Snoke is just a puppet. Darth Sidious, Palpatine, is alive,” he said, leaving her speechless. “He is weak, but he is gathering forces day by day. The First Order was just the beginning of his plan. He is dying. He needs something to gain his full power, and he is looking for it right now. When I was back at the academy, they were ancient Jedi books about crystals that could maintain life, even heal the deadliest of wounds. There was one, in particular, they called it the Healing Crystal of Fire. It’s the most powerful one of them all. Palpatine is looking for it as we speak, and when he finds it, he will regain all his power, and it will be the end of the galaxy.”

“Palpatine? What are you talking about? That’s impossible.”

“I know how it sounds, believe me, but it’s true. I’ve seen it, I have felt it. Rey, you were right. We cannot hide from this. If Palpatine succeeds in finding the crystal, there won’t be a safe place left in the galaxy. It would be the end of everything. We have to stop him.”

Rey couldn’t tell if Ben was telling the truth anymore. Everything that he was saying just couldn’t be true. The emperor alive? After all these years? How was that even possible? She could feel that he truly believed what he was telling her, but he had to be going insane. There was no way that was happening.

“Okay, then we will tell the resistance, and see where we go from there.”

“No, no, the resistance won’t help us. They won’t believe any of this, you know that” he said, and stepped closer to her. He could feel that she didn’t believe him, but she had too. They had to do this together. “Rey, do you trust me?”

She didn’t know if she did. They had been enemies, fighting at opposite sides in battle. They had tried to kill each other not long ago. A little voice inside her head was telling her she could not trust him, but then there was the bond. The connection they had between them that felt as natural as breathing. The connection that let them see into each other souls, that lead her to the Supremacy. She knew now more than ever that Snoke hadn’t been the one to unite them. It had been the Force, and the Force did things for a reason, at least that’s what she had been told. The Force didn’t lie, so she had to follow it, right?

But before she could give him an answer, the ship was torn in two. The impact was so strong that they both tumbled to the ground, Rey on top of him while he held her to protect her from the things that were falling to the ground above them.

“I trust you,” she said before standing up and reaching her hand towards him, which he took without hesitation.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hi, thank you so much for reading. I hope you enjoyed it. This chapter was very canon, but from here on out things will be very different. Next chapter we'll see a familiar face. Can you guess who? As always, feel free to comment. I want to hear your thoughts, opinions or questions about the story. Is there anything you would like to see? What did you enjoy about this chapter?


	13. Chapter 13

“I told you to let me fly,” said Rey as they both got out of the ship coughing because of the smoke caused by the crashed.

“Have you flown a TIE fighter before?” he asked back bitterly.

“I can fly anything, maybe if you had let me, we wouldn’t have crushed in the middle of nowhere,” she said raising her voice at him with anger.

After leaving Snoke’s lairs they managed to steal a ship to escape, but between everything that was going on around them, and the shock of what had happened in the last few minutes, they had forgotten to check the fuel. When they eventually did, it was too late, and they were unable to make a safe landing.

“Do you know where we are?” she asked, eventually.

“Yes, we are on Batuu. We are going to need another ship now,” he said as he looked at the destroyed TIE fighter.

“It probably was for the best that we crash. It’s a bit suspicious to be wandering around the galaxy with a ship like that… I am sorry I raised my voice. The crash was inventible, even if I had been the one to fly the ship.”

“It’s fine. There is no need to apologize.”

“Look, Ben, I still have trouble believing everything you told me, but I want to believe you. I really want to,” she admitted.

“What if I show you what I saw?”

“Can you do that? How?”

“Close your eyes,” he said and took a step closer towards her.

“Wait, are you going to look into my mind again?”

“No, no. It won’t be like that. I won’t try to take any memories from you. I will just give you some of mine. I promise,” he said, and she nodded, closing her eyes. Ben sighed before reaching her through the Force. Rey felt a bit startled at first, but she trusted Ben, and if he said he would not pry into her mind, she believed him.

When Ben connected their minds, it felt like some of the visions she had before. She saw how Ben made his way to the main control to look at a file called Fire. She saw many documents about the history of the Empire. She saw the document with his name on it and felt his anger and rage as he read it, and finally, she saw the last document on the file. Everything he had told her was there, everything about the emperor, and his plan to conquer the galaxy, reports on his health and how the fire crystal was his last shot to regain power and finally become invincible.

According to the document, the healing crystals of fire were one of the greatest treasures of the Jedi Order. It had the ability to heal people. They were very powerful; they could even save lives. They had originated on the planet Aurea, in the dome of crystal fire, where the walls were covered in dazzling colour crystals that reflected the true spirit of the person who entered it. The Jedi, who devoted some of their time to study the crystals, eventually sacked the cave. When rumour got out to the galaxy that the Jedi had the crystals, many were stolen until only one remained. The Dark Jedi, Xanatos, tried to steal it for the Siths, but his plans were interrupted by a Master Jedi called Qui-Gon who had sworn to protect the crystal and use it for good. When Quin-Gon died the crystal remained in the Jedi Temple, but after the great Jedi purge it was never seen again. The location of the crystal was hidden on a Holocron that would only reveal its secrets to the person who had the key to open it.

Suddenly, the vision changed, and she was no longer on the main control panel. She was in Ben’s cabin. He was reaching out with the Force to find Palpatine, to confirm if everything he had read on the file was true. It probably lasted for less than a minute, but it was clear that the powerful darkness he had found belonged to him. It felt terrible, yet also so intriguing. Rey recognized that darkness. She had felt it before. She had felt it when she had that strange vision of a throne urging her to come closer and she also felt it when the cave, back on Ahch-To, had called to her.

When she opened her eyes, Ben was looking at her and holding her arm to keep her from falling. She didn’t realize she was shaking, and she felt extremely cold, even though three suns were shunning above them.

“Are you alright?” he asked with concern.

“I am fine. It’s just that darkness… was so powerful. It belongs to him. I can feel it,” she whispered, not looking at his eyes. She felt like her mind was still in that memory, in that feeling of being consumed by the darkness. She was starting to feel lightheaded.

“Rey, are you sure you are okay?” he asked again now using both of his hands to hold her. It took her a few seconds, but she was finally back completely. She had stopped shaking, and she felt warm, not due to the suns, but because of the bond, she had with Ben. It was giving her warmth.

“Yes, we really should get going now. We need a ship to find that box,” she said, moving away from his arms.

“You mean the Holocron,” he said. Ben wanted to push further and ask her what had left her in such distress, but he could tell that she did not want to talk about it. She was determined to find the crystal now that she knew that Palpatine was alive. They had to act fast if they wanted to succeed, so he just nodded, and they started walking.

Their ship had crashed in a forest not far from the nearest town, so they managed to get there just right before dawn. On their way to the town, Ben started taking some of his clothes off. His sudden boldness startled Rey, and she was about to ask him what the hell he was doing until she realized that he had many layers underneath, and was probably just doing that because of the heat. She found herself blushing a lot when she saw how built his arms and upper torso were. Her heart even started beating faster, like it had when she saw him without a shirt back on Ahch-To. She had to avoid looking at him for several minutes until her body started to calm down. Why was this happening to her again?

Batuu was not a very rich planet. It had many towering petrified trees, and the houses were old and looked like they needed maintenance. In the middle of the town, there was a huge market that sold many items from all parts of the galaxy. They were always people coming and going, buying and selling stuff. Rey founded it fascinated. But Ben, on the other hand, looked annoyed at the huge number of people surrounding them. She could tell he was worried about being recognized, but she doubted it would happen since he had always worn a mask in all his missions with the First Order.

“Ben, how are we going to afford a ship if we don’t have any credits?”

“We don’t need credits. We can use the Force.”

“So, we are just going to steal from these people?”

“Do you have a better idea?”

“These people don’t have much. We shouldn’t be stealing from them. If we had gone to the Millennium Falcon like I suggested there would be no need to do this,” she said firmly.

“Well, I am sorry for thinking we were better off with something that isn’t a piece of junk.”

“That piece of junk would have worked way better than the TIE fighter we took, and you know that you just didn’t want to confront Chewbacca,” she said, and he could feel his temper rising. She was right. He knew that the Falcon could have worked just as well as any other ship to take them anywhere they needed to go, but he wasn’t ready to confront his past yet. The Falcon just had so many memories of his dad, and the rest of his family he wasn’t ready to face. And there was also Chewbacca. How was he supposed to look him in the eyes after almost killing his father? “Look, let’s just go, and get this over with,” she said after sensing his conflict.

When they got to Black Spire Outpost, they found the cantina full of customers. Many travellers and locals were drinking and laughing inside like there was no war going on in the galaxy outside these walls. They ordered some water, that to Rey’s delight was complimentary and sat down on one of the empty tables to catch their breath, but then a waiter came to their table and served them two drinks.

“We didn’t order this.”

“They are from the man at the end of the bar.”

“Shit, we have to go,” said Ben, and they both immediately got out of their seats to exit the cantina, but they didn’t make it very far because two blasters were pointing at them to stop them from walking.

“Ben,” said the man who had paid for their drinks. “I must say this is quite a surprise. I didn’t imagine I would find you here, especially not after the death of the Supreme leader and the banishment of Kylo Ren.”

“Word travels fast, I see.”

“Well, you know, Han was never good at keeping gossip to himself.”

“You know Han Solo?” asked Rey this time.

“Pardon me, where are my manners?” he said as he gestured to his companions to lower their blaster. “Lando Calrissian, at your service.”

“You are General Calrissian? The man who defeated an entire pirate fleet in the battle of Taanab?”

“Oh, I can’t say I was the one who did all of that alone, but yeah, it was mainly me,” he said, and Ben couldn’t help to roll his eyes. Lando hadn’t changed a thing since the last time he had seen him. “And you are?”

“Rey.”

“Nice to meet you, Rey,” he said as he looked between Ben and Rey with a mischievous grin. “Well, can we please take a seat and talk, or do I have to pull out my blasters again?” he asked.

“We don’t have time for talks. We are in a rush,” said Ben, annoyed, but he still took a seat to prevent any further conflict.

“And why is that? Is the First Order already trying to hunt you down?”

“Yes.”

“No.”

They both said at the same time.

_‘What are you doing?’ asked Ben through the bond._

_‘We can trust him. He could help us.’_

_‘No, we can’t.’_

_‘He knows your father. He is…’_

“Okay, look you don’t have to tell me everything, but please, enlighten me a little here because until yesterday you were Snoke’s right-hand man and now he is dead, and you are here, in Batuu, a planet where there is nothing that you could possibly want. So please, help me make sense of all of this.”

“Ben turned back to the light. And we are here by accident. Something went wrong with the ship we took to escape the supremacy, and we crash-landed. We will not cause any trouble. We are just trying to get a new ship,” said Rey before Ben could utter a word.

“Is that so? Is Ben Solo really back?” asked Lando, staring right into the eyes of the man who used to be his nephew.

Is Ben Solo really back? He honestly didn’t know. He had done things, horrible things, killed so many people to please the dark inside of him. How could he ever come back from that? He knew he wasn’t Kylo Ren anymore. Kylo Ren wouldn’t be here, in the middle of nowhere, arguing with Rey about the ethics of stealing while trying to save the galaxy, yet he still didn’t feel like Ben either. He didn’t know who he was anymore. He felt lost, completely lost, but when he turned to look at Rey, he could sense her hope and her desire to do good. It felt like a blinding light, and he wanted to be a part of that, but how? How could he do that knowing all the things he had done in the past?

“Look, I know I have hurt many people. I know I don’t deserve forgiveness, and I honestly don’t want it either. Everybody has the right to hate me after everything I have done. I am just trying to make better choices now. I honestly don’t know how to do that exactly, but Rey and I have to stop something terrible from happening, so please don’t make this hard for us. I will turn myself in after everything is over, but we have to do this first,” said Ben. He didn’t know where any of his words had come from. He honestly hadn’t thought about any of this before, but he knew that he meant every word.

“I will not stop you, Ben, and there is nothing to forgive from my part. I am just happy you are back. I am just happy to see my nephew again,” said Lando, and before Ben could let the words sink in, Lando stood up and embrace him in a hug. It had been a very long time since Ben had hugged someone, but he found he enjoyed the gesture. The hug didn’t last long and after it was over Lando returned to his seat and both men acted like nothing had happened. Rey almost rolled her eyes at their childish macho behaviour.

“You guys need a ship.”

“It’s fine. We don’t need your help.”

“Yes, we do,” said Rey, looking at Ben with frustration. “I prefer this far much more than stealing from someone.”

“Rey is right. Follow me,” he said as he got up from his seat with them following behind.

* * *

  
Lando ended up not just giving them a ship. He also gave them some provisions for their journey. The ship wasn’t very luxurious, but it was comfortable, and spacious enough for them to live in. For Rey, no ship could ever compare to the Falcon, but this was far more than what they needed, and she was grateful for Lando’s kindness.

“I am going to make a few adjustments to the fuel system to make sure we never run out of any,” said Rey before leaving the two men, sensing that they wanted a minute alone.

“Are you going to tell them you saw us?” asked Ben.

“No, I can tell that you don’t want them to know so I won’t, but you should. I know there is a lot of things you guys have to make up for, but they miss you like you could never imagine. They have spent the last six years of their life wanting you to come home. When you left, Ben, it was like a piece of them died,” answered Lando.

“I am not ready to confront them, at least not yet.”

“I understand, just remember that there isn’t as much time as we think there is. Don’t avoid this forever. You’ll regret it if you do,” said Lando, and Ben nodded as an answer. They stayed in silence for a moment before a huge smile came to Lando’s face. “So, Rey?”

“What about her?”

“I was really surprised when I saw you, but I have to admit that I was even more surprised to see that you weren’t alone. I guess we all need someone to make us see reason, don’t we?”

“Yes, I guess we do,” said Ben and he almost smiled as he watched Rey fidgeting with the fuel system in excitement, but he let it pass. They may be connected through the Force, but Rey wasn’t his. He was a monster, and she deserved something much better than him. She deserved someone who hadn’t done the things he had done, someone who could offer her more than what he could. She deserved someone better than him.

“She is good for you. Don’t let her go,” said Lando, squeezing his arm before leaving to help load the last bit of provisions he had given to them.

After they settled everything in their new ship Lando said his goodbyes and left them to plan their next course of action. Ben had connected the file to the computer they had on their ship so they could both see what they needed to find. There really wasn’t much about the Holocron, just that it was an information-storage device that both the Jedi and the Sith used to keep secrets about their religion. The Holocron that they were looking for had the shape of a dodecahedral, and it was blue. Rey couldn’t figure out what it was about the device, but there was something familiar about it.

A few days passed, while they were trying to figure out where it could be, reading and re-reading the other documents from the file about the empire, but so far, they had found nothing useful.

“Ben,” said Rey, interrupting their silence. “I don’t hate you. Back at the cantina, you said that everybody had the right to hate you, and I could sense the pain the thought caused you, so I thought that, maybe, it is important for you to know that I don’t hate you. I really don’t,” she said, and Ben felt a sudden warmth in his chest. He didn’t know what to say. He wanted to tell her he understood if deep down she still saw him as a monster, but her eyes didn’t have the same look she had given him when they fought back at Starkiller base. No, this time her eyes were full of compassion and sadness towards him. “Well, I am going to step outside for a minute to get some air,” she added after she realized he wasn’t going to say anything. She got up from her chair and was about to take Luke’s lightsaber with her when she froze.

“Something wrong?” asked Ben.

“I know where the Holocron is,” she said, looking at him with a smile on her face. “That is why it was so familiar. I can’t believe it took me this long to remember.”

“Care to explain?”

“When I found Luke’s lightsaber, it was in a box with other objects. I didn’t pay much attention to the other objects in it because I was so focused on the lightsaber, but one of them was definitely the Holocron,” she said completely mesmerize with the situation. “We have to go to Takodana.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hi, so there goes another chapter. I hope you enjoyed reading it. I really liked writing this chapter. Lando is one of my favourite characters in Star Wars, and I would have loved to see more of him in the sequels, but anyway, feel free to let me know what you think about the story so far in the comments or if there is anything you would like to see in the chapters to come. I know the story is not very popular, but I am trying my best to make it worth your while 😊. 
> 
> Next chapter is going to take place in Takodana, and we will see some of our favourite rebels 👀. 
> 
> I am going to post every two weeks from here on out because Uni is keeping me busy. Stay safe.


	14. Chapter 14

It took a full day to get to Takodana, which was good because it gave them time for some much-needed rest. When they finally got there, Rey could tell that something was wrong with Ben. He seemed anxious and even afraid. Their bond had stayed open since what happened in Snoke’s throne room. They hadn’t discussed what to do with it or what it was for that matter, but it felt natural to leave it open now that they were on the same side working together. Rey didn’t mind at all. It was a little strange to have something so intimate with Ben, but it also felt right, like it was just… meant to be.

“I think is best if I stay here,” said Ben as they were about to leave the ship.

“Why?”

“It’s my fault what happened to Maz’ castle. I don’t think she would like to see me. I am the reason why her home is in ruins,” he said with shame, looking at the floor.

“Maybe it’s a good thing we are here, then. You can start making amends.”

“How do I do that?”

“I don’t know but apologising may be a good start,” said Rey walking closer to stand next to him. She could feel that he really regretted what had happened to Takodana. Without thinking, she took his hand in her own and looked him in the eyes to tell him quietly he could do this. Her gentle gesture startled Ben at first. When their hands met, it sent a strange electricity through his body. It wasn’t as strong as it had been the first time, back when Rey was still on Ahch-To, but Ben found that it had the same effect on him as it had the first time. It captivated him.

He nodded back and squeezed her hand tighter before leaving the ship. They didn’t make it very far when Rey felt a familiar presence in the Force. She couldn’t quite tell who it belonged to until she heard someone yelling her name from afar.

“Finn?” she said, smiling when she finally saw him. He seemed to be just as happy to see her until his eyes landed on Ben.

“Rey, get away from him,” he yelled, raising his blaster.

“Finn, listen to me…” said Rey walking towards him trying to calm him down. But she was interrupted by the arrival of two other people.

“Finn, what are you…” said Poe who was running with a small petite woman following right behind. He was trying to catch up with the former stormtrooper who had sprinted out of nowhere yelling her name. At first, Poe thought Finn was going insane. He had practically begged Chewie to lend him the Falcon to come to Takodana, dragging him and Rose along. He kept saying that he knew Rey was there, but after spending an hour on the planet they found no sign of her. They had finally found her now, and she was with none other than Kylo Ren himself. “What the fuck are you doing here? You piece of... ” he added, also pointing his blaster at Ben.

“Guys, calm down. He is not going to hurt anyone,” interrupted Rey.

“It’s going to be alright, Rey. We are here now.”

“No, you guys don’t understand. Ben and I…”

“He is controlling her mind. Release her now!” yelled Finn.

“Do you guys really think I am that incapable of defending myself?” Rey yelled back, starting to get frustrated with the entire situation.

“I think we should listen to Rey,” said the petite woman with dark hair speaking for the first time. Rey couldn’t remember her name, but she knew she was one of the technicians in the resistance. She remembered seeing her before fixing some pipes.

“She doesn’t know what she is talking about. He probably tortured her to make her say all of that,” said Finn with harshness, remembering how kind Ren had been to Poe back when he was a prisoner at Starkiller base.

“I would never do anything to hurt her, traitor,” said Ben, not being able to take it any longer.

“You call him traitor one more time, and I swear I will…” yelled Poe, waving his blaster with anger.

“What? What will you do?”

“Ben, you are not helping.”

“How about we all calm down for a second?” suggested Rose but was completely ignored.

“Drop your weapon, Ren.”

“Sure, _traitor_ ,” said Ben, dropping his lightsaber to the ground. But before he could do anything else, he fell on the grass unconscious.

“What was that for? He dropped his weapon already,” yelled Rey at Poe, who was still holding his taser just in case.

“I told him not to call Finn a traitor, and he didn't listen. It’s for the best, anyway. It will be easier to transport him now.”

“You are not taking him anywhere.”

“It’s okay, Rey. He is not going to control you anymore,” said Finn, lowering his blaster to get closer to her.

“You guys are such idiots. I cannot believe you two.”

“Finn made us come all the way here to rescue you. The least you could do is be grateful,” said Poe.

“Rescue me? I don’t need to be rescued.”

“Oh, well, it sure didn’t look like you were doing alright after being kidnapped by Kylo Ren.”

“His name is Ben Solo, and he didn’t kidnap me.”

“Poe, she is in shock. Leave her alone,” said Finn, trying to calm him down, but it didn’t work. They both just continued yelling at each other with Finn and Rose intervening from time to time failing to calm them down.

“Enough! All of you stop shouting. Everybody in the cantina can hear you. You are scaring away all my customers,” said Maz, who had suddenly appeared with Chewie at her side. Maz was a tiny female, but her size didn’t take away how intimidating she could be. At the mere sound of her voice, they all stopped talking and turned to look at her. “What is going on here?”

“She has gone mad. She is trying to defend that monster,” said Poe, pointing at Ben who was on the floor unconscious. Rey was going to start yelling at him again, but she was interrupted before she could utter a word.

“Oh, I see,” said Maz completely calm as she looked between Rey and Ben like she had just realised something. “I think we all have a lot to talk about. It’s getting dark out here, so I think it is best to continue this inside. Chewie, please be a dear and take young Solo with you. I doubt I can move him myself and lower that taser boy. You look ridiculous,” she added, gesturing at the device Poe had in his hand before walking back to the castle with the other ones following behind.

The last time Rey had been on Takodana, there had been bombs and blaster shots flying everywhere. She had assumed that the castle would still be in pieces, but she was wrong. They had managed to rebuild the cantina already, and they had also made some advancements in the left tower. The cantina continued to be packed. It was full of people who were there to hide from the galaxy and forget about the war for a while. Maz led them to a secluded booth in the corner where it was impossible to hear any noise, and Chewie settled Ben on a couch nearby before joining them.

“Now, we are going to talk, but we are going to be civilised about it, okay?” she said with a warning glare directed at all of them, which made them nod instantly in return. “The last thing I heard was that you, child, are a hero,” she added, looking at Rey straight in the eyes.

“I didn’t kill Snoke. Ben did.”

“That’s impossible,” said Finn.

“Kylo Ren would never…”

“ _Let her speak_ ,” said Chewie, interrupting Poe from going any further. Rey turned to look at him and gave him a small nod of appreciation.

“Ben is not Kylo Ren anymore. He has come back to the light. Snoke ordered him to kill me, to destroy his true enemy, but he killed him instead. He saved me.”

“How is that possible? I don’t understand. He wanted to kill us, Rey. Kriff, he was ready to kill you on Starkiller base. I saw it in his eyes. He was going to have no mercy,” said Finn, raising his voice in frustration.

“I know it's hard to believe, but he is not that man anymore. I don’t think he was ever completely gone to the dark,” said Rey, and it was true. She believed what she was saying. Even from the first time they had met, there had always been conflict inside him. There was always light he was trying to suppress. As they saw each other through the Force more often, she could feel how that conflict, how that light, grew stronger with their bond. “He regrets his past actions, and he feels ashamed for the pain he has caused. I can feel it through the Force as if it were my pain because we… because we share a bond.”

“What?”

“When I was on Ahch-To, we were able to see each other and communicate. The force united us. That’s why I went to the Supremacy because I knew we could defeat Snoke together and we did,” she said, leaving everybody in the room speechless. Maz was looking at her with a very intriguing gaze that made her feel uncomfortable. It felt like she was staring right into her soul.

“Why didn’t you come back then? Why did you run away with him?” said Finn with pain in his eyes. Many people around the base were starting to think she had died, even Chewbacca was starting to believe it, but he knew she wasn’t dead. Something deep inside was telling him she was still alive and that he had to find her. That was the feeling that led them to Takodana, that led them to her.

“I thought that after killing Snoke everything would be over, but I was wrong,” she said, taking a deep breath for what was about to come. 

"What do you mean?" asked Poe.

“The emperor is alive. He is weak, but his allies are strong, and he is looking for something. Something that will restore his power, and once he finds it, there will be no hope left for the galaxy. He will be more powerful than ever. He will take control once again, and no one will be able to stop him.”

“That’s why you are here? You are trying to stop him?” asked Maz.

“Yes.”

“Rey, this is crazy, listen to yourself. It has been decades since Darth Vader killed the emperor. There is no way he is alive,” said Poe, but there was a certain terror in his voice as he spoke.

“I am afraid Rey is telling the truth. I have felt it too. Darkness is rising. It’s weak, but it’s getting stronger. I know what you have come here for. You are looking for something you have seen before, aren't you?”

“Yes, we are.”

“And I will give it to you, but there is a matter I have to attend to right now. It’s getting late. I suggest that you all spent the night here. I won’t charge if you all promise to behave,” she said before leaving.

“What about Skywalker? You went on a mission to find him and bring him back. Why isn’t he here?” asked Poe seriously.

“Master Skywalker has decided he doesn’t have a place in this war or in the galaxy for that matter. There was nothing I could do to convince him to come back,” she said, and Poe looked at her with disbelieve. “Look I know it all sounds crazy and impossible, but I am telling the truth. That’s the reason I didn’t go back to the resistance because I knew no one would believe us and we can’t waste time right now. I have proof. I can show you…”

“I believe you, Rey. I am sorry for not listening to you before, but I know you are telling the truth. I can feel it,” said Finn softly. There was a strange force emanating from Finn which she hadn’t notice before, but it had definitely always been there. It was something they had to talk about later.

“I believe you too. Sorry, I know we haven’t met before. I am Rose. It’s a pleasure to meet you,” said the petite women with dark hair extending her hand, which Rey took.

“The pleasure is mine,” she answered with a smile.

“ _I believe you too, Rey. I have been around enough to know that those who can master the force tend to know things we cannot understand and I am also glad to see that you are okay_ ,” said Chewie who had gotten up from his seat to hug her.

Poe didn't say anything else. He was just watching them from the other side of the table. It was going to take much more convincing from his part. 

“We should send a message to the base to let them know we are staying here tonight,” was the only thing he said after a while.

“Right, of course. Rey, you should come with us. I know you want to see the Falcon again,” said Finn and Poe didn’t protest. Rey did want to see the Falcon again, but she didn’t want to leave Ben alone. She could feel through the bond that he was sleeping calmly, but she didn’t know how he was going to react if he woke up and she wasn't there.

“ _I’ll stay with him_ ,” said Chewie, who had noticed that Rey was staring at Ben, trying to figure out what to do.

“Are you sure?”

“ _Yes, don’t worry, kid._ ”

Once they got to the Falcon, Poe left immediately to go to the cockpit with Rose to send a small message to the General. They had decided not to say anything regarding Rey or Ben since it was a complicated matter that needed to be said in person. Rey stayed behind with Finn, and they both went to her old cabin to get the few belongings she had left behind.

“Rey, there is something I have to tell you.”

“That you are in love with Poe?”

“What? I- no. I mean I don’t know… what?” he said stuttering nervously.

“Oh, come on, Finn. I am not blind. I have seen the way you look at him. You like him, don’t you?”

“That was not what I wanted to tell you.”

“But do you?”

“Yes, I do,” said Finn nervously, and Rey gave him an encouraging smile to continue. “But it’s complicated. A lot has happened since you left to find Skywalker,” he added as his smile faded.

“Why is it complicated? You like him, and he is clearly smitten by you. So, what is the problem?”

“There is a lot standing in the way. The war… and I fear how the others at the base were to react if they saw us together. Poe says it wouldn’t be an issue, but I have seen it before, Rey, and I… I really don’t want to leave the resistance.”

“Finn, look at me,” said Rey as she took his hand to look him in the eyes. “Fuck them. Do what makes you happy, and if you want to be with Poe, then you shouldn’t be holding back. You know, he came to visit you every day while you were unconscious. He cares a lot about you. Don’t let that go because of what others might think,” she added before embracing him in a hug.

“Thanks, Rey. It means a lot to hear you say that. What I actually wanted to tell you is that I think I can use the Force. I think I have always been able to, but I didn't realise it until I held Skywalker's lightsaber. Something just clicked at that moment. I know it sounds weird...”

“No, I understand, and I knew that already. I wasn’t able to recognise it when we first met because I didn’t know much about the Force back then, but it is clear now.”

“Rey, why don’t you come back with us? We can help you. You don’t need him.”

“I am sorry Finn, but I can’t. The Force connected us for a reason, and I don’t know how, but I can feel that it has something to do with this. We are supposed to do this together.”

“But it’s not just that, is it? It’s more than just defeating Palpatine. You wouldn’t have gone with him if you didn’t trust him,” he said, dreading her answer.

“Yes, this bond between us has allowed me to see a lot of things about him. Things I thought he was incapable of feeling, and it just feels so natural like it has always been there. I just wasn’t able to see it until now. I know you don’t believe me when I say he has changed, but it's true. Look, I have an idea. Close your eyes,” she instructed him, and he listened to her. She told him to reach out with his mind, to feel the Force and energy around him. It took him several minutes before he finally felt it. The Force was everywhere, surrounding them. He didn't know such feelings were possible to master. It was amazing.

“Now, reach out to Ben,” she said, and he did, reluctantly at first. He thought the Force surrounding him would be dark, and he wasn’t wrong, but just as there was darkness inside of him, there was also light just as powerful. He also felt the connection Rey was talking about. It felt like there was something bonding them, something very powerful and peaceful. “You saw it, didn’t you? The light around him? He no longer belongs to the dark.”

“I saw it, but I could also feel his conflict. He is still not sure what the right path is. What if he went to the dark side again, Rey? He could hurt you. I don’t think is wise to go with him alone.”

“I promised I would help him find his way back to the light. I can’t just leave him, and he would never hurt me, Finn. He had the chance to do it many times since the Force connected us. Kriff, Snoke ordered him to kill me, but he didn’t because he knew it wasn’t the right thing to do.”

“You don’t own him anything, you know that right?” he said taking her hand. “He almost killed his father. We were both there, Rey,” he added. 

She remembered that moment. She couldn’t forget how afraid she had been, scared that Han could be killed, but Ben didn’t do it. He resisted the impulse to please his master. He had proven how strong he was by not doing it. Rey knew Ben still had things to work through, but she knew his heart was not full of hatred anymore. There was shame and anger, but there was also hope and longing to make things better.

“I need you to trust me, Finn. I wouldn’t be doing this if I wasn’t sure about him. I wouldn’t put myself in such danger. Don’t you trust my judgement?” she said, feeling hurt for his lack of trust.

“I do. I will probably never understand this, but I won’t stop you. I trust that you know what is best for you,” he said, and she gave him a small smile in return.

After that, they gathered all her possessions and went back to the cockpit to join the others. Poe seemed to have relaxed a little by then and even gave Rey a small apology for the things he had said before. Finn then asked Poe to speak alone, so the two girls went outside to wait for them.

“Are you okay, Rey? I know the boys acted like assholes, but I can tell they reacted that way because they really care about you.”

“Yeah, I know they meant well, but I just felt so…” she paused, trying to find the right words.

“Ignored? Belittle? Like your opinion didn’t matter?” asked Rose. 

“Yes, exactly. What is up with that?”

“I honestly don’t know, but I think they have learned their lesson,” answered Rose and they both smiled.

* * *

Meanwhile, Ben Solo was finally waking up after being tasered into unconsciousness. 

Where was he? He obviously wasn’t on the Supremacy. He had left, and the entire ship had been destroyed. They had gone to Batuu after their ship had run out of fuel, and then Rey had told him she had seen the Holocron… in Takodana. Takodana? Yes, that was where they were. The last thing he could remember was holding Rey’s hand before FN- 2187 appeared out of nowhere.

“ _I thought you were never going to wake up_ ,” said a familiar voice near him.

“What happened?” 

“ _You opened your mouth_ ,” said the voice when Ben could finally recognise who he was talking to. Chewbacca, he was there too. The last time they had seen each other was back at Starkiller base when he had almost… killed Han. He had grown up with the wookie. He had been like an uncle to him, but now as Ben found himself face to face with the wookie, he didn’t know what to say. He couldn’t utter a single word, but then he noticed that Chewie was holding something in his paws.

“You… you still have that?” he asked.

When he was six, Ben had carved a piece of wood into the shape of the Falcon. He had intended to give it to Han, but after having a fight with Leia, the man seemed distracted and distant. He remembered feeling sad about his father's behaviour, so he went to his room and stayed there for the rest of the day. No one had noticed his absence except for Chewie. He came to his room at night with a plate of fruit and some warm caff. He also convinced Ben to play a game of Dejarik, and even let him win, which was unusual for the wookie because he hated losing. Ben ended up giving him the piece of wood he had made for his father. As the years passed, he forgot about it completely, but apparently Chewbacca hadn’t, or he wouldn’t have kept it all those years.

“ _I am not sure why, to be honest. I thought about throwing it away, but I just couldn’t. I guess a part of me was still hoping that one day you would come back home_.”

“Why didn’t you kill me? Back at Starkiller base, you had a clean shot, but you aimed for my arm instead. Why? I would have deserved it. I was… I almost killed him.”

Chewie could remember the day Ben was born. He went to visit Leia and Han that same day. They were both so happy to hold their baby. Chewie didn’t understand how they could be. Ben was such a tiny thing that screamed and cried all the time. He was funny looking, and the mere thought of being responsible for a thing like that terrified him, but then Leia forced him to hold him, and after spending some minutes with him he understood. This was the baby of two of his closest friends in the entire galaxy, and Ben was such a special child. As Ben grew older Chewie’s soft spot for the boy also grew. He remembered how sad he used to get when his parents fought or when Han left to avoid conflict. During those days Chewie only wanted to make his nephew smile, and if that had to take him losing a game of Dejarik then he would do it. Not all the time, but he would do it on special occasions. Back at Starkiller base no matter what Ben could have done he never would have killed him. He couldn’t. He owned it to the little boy he used to care about so much, and he also owned it to Han.

“ _Han would have never forgiven me for that, but I also wouldn’t have been able to forgive myself. Rey told us everything that happened. I am glad you are back, little Ben. It doesn’t erase the things you have done in the past, but it can be a start_.”

“I am sorry… for everything, really. I know an apology doesn’t fix things, but I guess it is a start like you said. I want to make things better. I am not sure how I am going to do that, but I will try. I will really try this time,” he said truthfully with so much pain in his voice. Chewbacca couldn’t help it anymore and wrapped him up in a strong hug that almost left him unable to breathe, but Ben couldn’t care less. Uncle Chewie had forgiven him. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hi, I hope you enjoyed this chapter. It was super fun to write. I always imagined Finn and Poe not reacting well to Ben's redemption, but hopefully, they will come around. Chewie's and Ben's relationship is so precious. I would have loved to see more of it in the movies. Thank god we have fanfiction for that. Next chapter, we'll have some tender moments between our favourite couple, and some revelations about the dyad bond. As always, please feel free to leave a comment. I would love to hear your thought, opinions, and predictions on the story. Also, I am so sorry for taking three weeks to post, instead of two as promised. Uni has been going hard at me this month 😭. Luckily, I am ahead in some of my assignments so hopefully, I will have more time to write.
> 
> Thank you so much for reading. Stay safe ❤️


	15. Chapter 15

The day passed quickly in Takodana. After deciding to stay and behave, Maz invited them to dinner. Rey was happy to be with her friends again. It was clear that they still had some reservations about her plan, but they had at least come to accept it. She also suspected that Finn had said something to Poe regarding their situation because when they came back; he acted much more civil towards Ben’s presence. He did still give him a few death glares, but Finn’s words, and also the fact that Chewie had warm up to Ben and even decided to sit next to him while they ate their dinner, hold him back from doing anything stupid. Rey could sense that Ben was much calmer and relaxed. She knew he was at peace, even if he didn’t show it. Chewbacca had brought some comfort to his trouble mind. It made him believe that if he could forgive him, maybe others could too. 

When dinner was over, Maz introduced them to some customers in the cantina who were thrilled to meet the rebels. Their home planet had been invaded by the First Order, so whenever they could, they tried to support the Resistance to take them down. They were friendly and even invited them to their table for some liquor that went straight to Poe’s head after several and several glasses. They were all having a great time. Rey and Rose had hit it off pretty well, too. The two women had a lot in common, they both enjoyed talking about ships and mechanics. At one point in their conversation, Rey realised that Finn and Poe weren’t with them anymore. They were on the other side of the cantina, and they seemed to be fighting in hush tones. Poe seemed calmer than Finn, probably because of the liquor he had drunk, but he wasn’t saying much, just listening. After some minutes, he got tired of being quiet and grabbed the other man’s cheek softly. Poe had such devotion and love in his eyes when he talked to Finn that made Rey’s heart yearn for someone to look at her like that. Finn had gone completely speechless at the simple affection, and when Poe realised he wasn’t going to say anything back; he kissed him on the cheek before leaving. If Finn was speechless before, now he was in shock. He was frozen on the spot. He turned around and locked eyes with Rey. She gestured to him to do something. When he came back to reality, he immediately went to follow Poe.

Rey was smiling widely. It was wonderful to see her best friend in love. Poe had been a bit of an ass when they had arrived at Takodana, but she knew he was a good man deep down, and she also knew that he cared a lot about Finn. A slight pain had also formed in Rey’s heart at the sight of them. She had never cared about falling in love before or being with someone, but she couldn’t deny that there was a yearning in her heart that hadn't been there before. She didn’t know why, but she suddenly had the urge to find Ben. When dinner had ended, he had excused himself from the table before leaving. Rey thought that he was eventually going to come back, but he never did. The whole situation had overwhelmed him, and he needed some time alone.

“Hey.” She said, when she eventually found him outside of the cantina, sitting in one of the ruins of the castle. “What are you doing here?”

“Just getting some air.”

“Do you want to take a walk with me?”

“A walk?”

“Yes, a walk. The last time I was here, I didn’t get to explore much because someone was chasing me.” She said with a playful smirk, and that was all it took for him to stand up and follow her. 

Their walk was quiet, and fortunately for them, it wasn’t dark. Takodana was a planet with three moons, so when the night came, they always glowed brightly to lead the way in the darkness. At some point in their path, they found a small waterfall. It was beautiful, and it reflected the light of the moons brightly. Rey couldn’t contain her amazement. She was fascinated by all the nature around them. Ben found it odd how she could get excited about the simplest of things, but then he remembered how she had grown up on a desert planet with little life around. If the waterfall wasn’t enough to amaze her, a swarm of blue butterflies suddenly appeared, which made her smile and chuckle like crazy. Ben couldn’t care less about butterflies, but seeing her smile in that way made his heart bit faster, and he found himself wishing for more of those butterflies to appear just so she could continue smiling. She was beautiful in the moonlight, and for the first time in years Ben found himself smiling too, and not a small timid smile, but a full grin. When she saw that smile everything around her started to become less relevant. She was mesmerised again, not by the view this time, but with his smile. 

They sat down to admire the waterfall. They were both quiet for a moment, not wanting to interrupt the peacefulness of their surroundings, but they were still things lingering on their minds that needed to be said. 

“Did you believe what Snoke said?” asked Rey finally. Ben wasn’t sure what she was referring to. Snoke had said a lot of things. “About us? Our connection? How he created it?”

“No, he only said it to piss me off. He wanted me to get angry and lose control, but it didn’t matter to me if he had done it or not. Either way, all I wanted was to keep you safe.” He answered, making Rey blush and shiver slightly. “I blocked our connection because I knew Snoke was going to look into your mind and I couldn’t risk him finding out that I was going to betray him. I knew the only way to stand a chance against him was to trick him.”

“I knew he was lying. There was no way he could have created our bond, connection, whatever it is,” said Rey, realising that after everything that had happened, they still didn’t know what it was. “It has always been there. Now that I look back, I don’t think I can remember a time when I didn’t feel it.” She said, and her words were meant by a long silence. She turned around to look at Ben, who seemed to be deep in thought about something.

“I remember. I was ten the first time I felt it. I had gotten into some trouble at the academy, and I was… ” said Ben, as he recalled the time he had thrown one of his peers into a wall. He hadn’t meant to do it. He didn’t want to hurt anyone, but his anger took the best of him, making his powers go loose. When Luke came to the site, he stared at Ben with so much fear in his eyes. It was the same fear his mother and father had every time they looked at him. Luke assured him that everything was going to be alright, that the boy wasn’t really hurt, just had some bruises from the impact, but Ben’s mind was already spiralling. “Scared. Scared of the things I could do so I went to my room to be alone. The next thing I knew Snoke was talking to me, trying to reassure me that I had done nothing wrong and that it was the other kid’s fault, not mine. He kept telling me I was meant to use my powers to do things like that. I tried to block him out, but it was impossible. And then, something weird happened. I felt something, a light, I had never felt before. It made Snoke go away for a few days. He eventually came back, but I never forgot that feeling. I never knew what it was until now. Until I met you.” He added, looking into her eyes.

“Do you think...” said Rey, realising she couldn’t finish what she was about to say out loud. ‘ _It could have been the day I was born?’_ she finished asking through the bond.

“Yes, it probably was.” He admitted, and it was followed by a short silence. Rey wanted to ask if he remembered the date, but it had been so long ago. There was no way he could remember after all those years.

“I never knew my birthday. When I was a child, I used to pretend I did by picking a random day of the year. I had no idea what you were supposed to do on your birthday. I didn’t really do anything different from my usual day, but I would pretend…” she said, as she looked at the grass with sadness. “Pretend the day was special… and that maybe that was going to be the day my parents were finally coming back for me.” She added with tears starting to form in her eyes. Ben felt angry at hearing how complicated her childhood had been. She didn’t deserve to carry all that pain. She was so kind and strong. As he saw the tears streaming down from her face, all he wanted to do was hold her in his arms and take her pain away. He would do anything to see her smile again, just like she had done less than an hour ago.

“I shouldn’t have mentioned your parents when I offered you to come with me. It was cruel. I know how much it hurts you, and I used it against you to get what I wanted. It wasn’t right, Rey.” He said as he moved closer to take her hand in his. Rey was surprised with his gesture, but found it comforting and gripped his hand tighter.

“I did want to take your hand, Ben,” she said, looking at him this time. They were very close now, and neither of them made an effort to move away.

“I am glad you didn’t. You deserve much more than what I could ever give you.” 

“Maybe I don’t want more.” She whispered. Ben looked at her again and tucked a loose hair behind her ear. They were even closer than before this time. Ben’s eyes were full of adoration and longing for the women in front of him. He wanted to kiss her, to hold her and dry her tears, but he couldn't. It wasn't fair to her. She deserved better. 

“It’s late. We should probably head back.” He said as he moved away from her to stand. They were both quiet as they made their way back to the castle neither of them wanting to address what had almost happened. 

They weren’t many people left in the cantina as there were before she left, just a few small groups who were still enjoying some liquor. Her friends weren’t there anymore. Rey imagined they had all left to get some rest, so they both decided to do the same.

“June 10.” Said Ben before she left to her room. “That was the day I felt… the light. I thought maybe you wanted to know.” He added. It had been 20 years since that had happened, but he could never forget about it. Even when he was working with Snoke, the warmth and peacefulness of that light always lingered inside of him urging him to find it. “Goodnight, Rey.”

“Goodnight, Ben,” she said softly with a small smile before he left. A part of her wished that he would have stayed with her, just for a little longer.

* * *

  
The next day when Rey woke up, the memories of the night before lingered in her mind. What the hell had happened? Last night they had a… moment, a strange moment. They had been so close to each other, and there was a strange palpitation in her heart every time he touched her, and her stomach felt like it was doing strange flips. Would they have done something if he hadn’t pulled away? Would he have kissed her? Their relationship wasn’t like that at all. Could they even consider themselves to be friends? It didn’t feel right to acknowledge Ben as a friend. The connection they shared through the force was something so intimate that went beyond friendship, but it wasn’t just the bond. There was something else about Ben that made Rey curious and excited. Last night they had crossed a boundary, and the strangest thing was that Rey wanted it to happen again. She wanted both of them to cross the boundaries they had unconsciously set between each other. She didn’t know what she wanted with Ben or what the strange feeling she was having meant, but she knew that she didn’t just want to be friends with him. She wanted more, so much more. 

As the morning progressed, they both didn’t say anything about what had happened last night, partially because nothing really had happened and also because they both were unprepared to face the situation. Rose, Finn, Poe and Chewie couldn’t stay any longer. They were all needed back at the base, and Poe was eager to go back to tell the General everything that had happened. Finn was still reluctant to leave Rey behind, but he was trying not to show it. He had promised he would trust her judgement and no matter how much he hated Ben, he had to keep his promise for Rey, but he couldn’t help to ask one more time if she wanted to go with them before leaving.

“No, that will only slow us down, and there isn’t much time to waste.” She said as they were both embracing in a long hug.

“I understand, but don’t forget that you can count on us for anything,” he said, breaking the hug to look at her eyes, so she knew he was being serious. “Whatever you need, Rey, really. If you are in danger, don’t hesitate to contact us. We will find a way to get to you wherever you are,” he added, but a little louder this time so Ben could hear, which made the tall man roll his eyes in annoyance.

“I know, thanks for looking out for me. You are the best friend I could have ever ask for Finn. Just don’t worry so much, we are going to be fine, and please don’t forget what we talked about. You deserve to be happy,” she said as she gave him a last hug before they had to leave.

In the short time she had known Finn, he had proven to be a loyal friend. She was a little concerned about his protective behaviour towards her when they first met. She didn’t want to give him the wrong impression, and she was scared he had feelings for her that she couldn’t correspond, but now she understood that his concerns were not a product of attraction or hidden feelings. Finn had grown up in a harsh environment like her. He was taught to look at others with resentment and to not harvest any personal relationship with the other soldiers. So when he met Rey, he wanted to forget all the hurtful things he had been taught. It was the first time he was free. Free to admit that he could care about others. Free to form friendships and bonds with other people without fearing retaliation, and Rey had found something similar in him, a chance to have a friend who could care about her just as much as she did. It was hard to say goodbye, but she knew it was only a matter of time before they saw each other again. 

“Well, I think is time I give you what you came looking for,” said Maz to Rey and Ben when they could no longer see the Falcon. They both nodded in agreement, and she turned around to lead them to the castle’s basement. 

The last time Rey had been there, it had not been a pleasant experience, to say the least. All her life she had thought that she was nothing, that she was a nobody, just another scavenger from Jakku, but when she touched the lightsaber she was faced with things she didn’t know existed inside of her. It scared her to bear the weight of such power, but as they made their way down the stairs, she found that she was not scared anymore. Back then, she had felt so uncertain and lonely. She didn’t feel that way anymore. Sure, there were lots of questions still to be answered, but she didn’t doubt herself any longer. She knew she could hold such power, and she was not alone anymore. She had Ben now.

Maz opened her old chest carefully and took the Holocron in her hands. It was smaller than what they both had predicted. It was so tiny that it could fit easily in the palm of their hands. It was also made of metal and had a weird shape, like a dodecagon. At first glance, it did not look like anything important.

“How did you come to it?” asked Rey as Maz gave her the object. 

“As you may know, child, there are many things one can find scavenging,” answered Maz, making Rey smile at the irony of the situation. “I do not know the information that hides inside, but I can sense that it is not something to be taken lightly. I hope you both know the right thing to do with it.” She added this time with more seriousness in her tone.

“We think we do. Thank you for trusting us, Maz.” 

“Tell me, my dear, do you still wish to go back to that planet of yours?” asked Maz with the same strange look that made Rey slightly uncomfortable. It made her feel like she was staring right into her bare soul.

“No, I don’t think I will find what I seek there anymore,” answered Rey truthfully. Not so long ago, all she wanted to do was go back to Jakku. She wanted to keep holding onto the idea that they were coming back for her, that her parents were going to be the ones to end her loneliness, but she couldn’t keep lying to herself anymore. There were many things out there in the galaxy waiting for her to be discovered. She wasn’t going to find the answers she so desperately needed in Jakku, and there was also Ben and the strange connection they shared that made her feel like she wasn’t alone anymore. Maz was smiling at them like crazy now. There was something that had caught her attention between the two of them. She couldn’t figure out exactly what it was, but it fascinated her. “I believe we should get going too. Thank you for your hospitality.” Said Rey finally, as all the staring was starting to get weird.

“You’re welcome. Young Solo, is there something you would like to say?” said Maz, before they could reach the stairs to make their way out of the basement. 

“I'll wait for you on the ship so we can look at it together,” said Rey, realising that they needed some privacy for the conversation they were about to have. As she left, Ben let out a small sigh before speaking.

“I am sorry about your castle. It was my order to attack it. I am the reason it is in ruins now.” He said with sadness, and Maz only smiled at him.

“This castle has endured worse things in the past, but no matter how much they have tried to destroy it, they will never be able to demolish it completely. The castle is just a place, is worth nothing, what is worth is the friendships and bonds people have created here. That is something no bomb can ever destroy.” She said as she adjusted her googles to look at him more clearly. “Oh, I see. I remember the last time I saw you. You were such a small little thing, hiding behind your father’s legs, but even then, I could sense what I now can feel clearly: pain and regret.”

“That little boy had no idea of the man he was going to become.”

“But you still don’t know what kind of man you are, do you? There is great conflict inside you. You are hunted by your past, and that is limiting you from finding the truth. The past can be a powerful thing, young Solo. It keeps finding ways to get to our hearts, and it can tear us apart if we let it, but yet, the answer is not to kill it or dwell on it.”

“Then what should we do with it?” he asked, and she smiled again back at him.

“The past is gone. It has already happened, but we must not forget it either, otherwise, we are just doomed to commit the same mistakes. What we must do is learn from it and accept it so we can be better in the future."

“I don’t know how to do that. I don’t think I will ever be able to let it go,” admitted Ben. There were too many things he just couldn’t accept, like all the pain he had to endure, and all the pain he had caused. How could he come back from it all? How could he be a better man with all of those things holding him down? A part of him just wanted to give up on everything and end it all right there, but there was also this tiny voice of hope in his heart that was telling him he could do better, that he could be forgiven. It had Rey’s voice, and he wanted to hold on to it as tight as he could.

“Yes, you still have a long way to figure that out, but I think you are in the right track now. The first time Rey was here, I could sense that the force was pulling her towards something. Now I know that the force was pulling her towards someone, towards you. I have never seen anything like it before if I am being honest. I can feel that the connection you share is extremely powerful, but it is nothing to be afraid of. It does not belong to the dark. I don’t know what it is exactly, but it is the will of the force. You two are meant to be together, and perhaps together you will find a way to cure the sadness that has been eating you alive for too long.” 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hi, I am back. I hope you enjoyed this chapter. As you can see, Ben's and Rey's relationship is progressing more now. Next chapter we'll see more progress 👀. Rey is a little clueless about her feelings, but she'll get there. Blue butterflies have become one of my favourite Reylo moments 🦋. I can totally see them bonding over them. Also, Maz is totally shipping them. She knows what's up. As always, please feel free to leave any comment. I love to hear your thoughts, opinions, suggestions or predictions about the story.


	16. Chapter 16

Opening the Holocron was not as easy as they had expected it. They tried everything. Rey even kicked it to the other side of the ship despite Ben’s protests, but it still wouldn’t budge. According to Ben, most holocrons revealed themselves to force-sensitives users without complications, but of course, this one wasn’t one of them. Days passed, and they still did not know how to open the tiny object. It was ridiculous. There was nothing that could help them on the file either, and they were running out of time. Darkness was growing. The galaxy was not safe, and they weren’t any closer to finding the crystal.

“Ben, this is pointless. We have already been over all of these documents twice. If we didn’t find something then, we are not going to find anything now either,” said Rey as they both were sitting down in one of the tables on the ship’s main hold.

“There must be something we are missing.”

“I think is time to look for answers somewhere else,” she said with hesitation for her next words. “I think we should go to Luke.”

“No, we don’t need him, Rey. He won’t solve anything, and you know it,” said Ben, trying to control his anger. He didn’t want to see his uncle ever again for two simple reasons. One, he didn’t want to look him in the eye after everything he had done. He didn’t want to see his face of satisfaction, of knowing that he had been right all along, that Ben was truly a monster who deserved to die that night, and two because he was afraid to face the anger, he had built towards him. He wouldn’t know if he would be capable of controlling himself if he saw him, and that scared him. He was still afraid of himself.

“I know he won’t, but he knows more about the Force than the both of us. Perhaps he can tell us something that we are missing here, something that only he could know because he has…” said Rey, but stopped abruptly. “Wait.” She added before running to her cabin. Why did she always have to do that?

She came back a few minutes later with a holopad in her hands and a huge grin on her face. She started to look through several pictures. 

“How do you have pictures of the Jedi texts?” he asked when he realised what they were looking at.

“I found them when I went to search for Luke. I left the books on the falcon, but I thought that maybe we could use them, so I took pictures.”

“So, you stole them?” he asked, trying to contain a small grin. 

“No, I didn’t steal them. Luke didn’t care about them anymore, so I thought I could put them to better use. Anyway, it doesn’t matter because I remember reading something about a strange box,” she said as she kept going through the pictures, desperately searching for one page.

“Holocron.” He muttered, and she rolled her eyes. She didn’t like to be corrected.

“Here,” she said, turning around to show him the picture, but he was already standing behind her, looking at the holopad over her shoulder. Their sudden proximity made her blush slightly. He was very close, and she could feel the air that escaped from his breathing. A sudden urge to lean into him came to her. She couldn’t help to stare at his lips. She wondered what it would feel like to kiss him, to touch him, to let him touch her. It was the first time she wanted to be close to someone in that way. It felt wonderful, like floating on air, but at the same time, it terrified her.

“Memory crystals? That’s it.” He said, walking away much to her disliking. “Here it is,” he added as he opened one of the documents from the file. “Darth Vader stole a memory crystal when he left the Jedi Order. Palpatine must have ordered him to do so. It has to be what we need to open this Holocron. We have to go to Mustafar.”

“Mustafar? Why?”

“Vader’s castle was there. He must have hidden the crystal somewhere to keep it safe. What better place than his fortress?” 

“Ben, you don’t know that. It has been decades since Vader died. There could be nothing there, for all we know the crystal could be light-years away from the castle. You are just making assumptions, and there isn’t much time to spare.”

“And going to Luke is not wasting time? He may not know anything either. Why are you so sure that he can help us?” he asked, but she didn’t answer, not wanting to admit that he could be right. Luke had been useless in the past. He didn’t give her the answers she was looking for. Why would it be any different this time? “I think this is the best lead we have. We should follow it.”

“Okay, but if we find nothing…”

“We will find it,” he said, trying to end the conversation.

“I think we should still consider… Did you feel that?” she asked, interrupting herself when a sudden sense of alert came to her through the Force. It felt like something wasn’t right. Ben had felt it too, and before he could answer, an alarm rang through the ship. 

They were being attacked. 

They both rushed to the cockpit, but before they could go any further, Rey stopped him.

“One of us should go to the gun well. We might need to fight back.” She said, and he only nodded before leaving her. Rey was expecting him to fight her by saying that he was the most equipped pilot, but he didn’t. He knew she could handle it.

When Rey got to the cockpit, she could finally see what was attacking them. There were three TIE fighters on their tail. She deactivated the autopilot to take control of the entire ship and increased the speed to avoid the shots that were coming at them. 

“It doesn’t matter if we jump to light speed. They will still be able to track us,” said Ben through the comms that connected the gun well to the cockpit. 

“I know, Finn told me about it. We have to shoot them down then.” She said, at the same time Ben managed to shoot one TIE fighter. His shot was precise enough to mess up with the ship because it started to slow down, and soon it couldn’t move any further. 

Ben had flown TIE fighters for years. He knew everything about them, their advantages, their strengths, but most importantly, their weaknesses. He knew that there was a certain spot at the left side of the ship that made the whole thing restart. It usually took ten minutes for the ship to start operating again. At least that could buy them some time. He turned to his right side to load the gun but found that there was not much ammunition left. 

“I don’t think that is going to be possible. There is not much ammo left.” He told Rey, who was already trying to find another solution. They were surrounded by three, well two operational TIE fighters and they didn’t have ammunition. The probabilities of escaping were becoming shorter. There was nothing she could do, unless…

“I got an idea,” she said. She closed her eyes for a moment and took a deep breath to calm herself. She went to the bond they shared, and like always it gave her comfort, it gave her strength to continue. She opened her eyes again, and with a quick manoeuvre, she changed the direction of the ship.

“Rey, why are we flying towards one of the TIEs?” Ben asked. The ship was no longer running away from the two TIE fighters that were following them. No, now it was flying towards the TIE fighter that was not moving and at full speed. If she didn’t stop soon, they were going to crash. Rey didn’t answer, which only made him more anxious. “Rey, if you don’t slow down soon, there is going to be a crash.”

“That is the idea,” she said as she increased the speed of the ship even more. Ben left the gun well and went rushing to the cockpit. He had to stop her. He knew that it was probably going to be too late when he got there, but he had to try. The ship was now a few meters away from crushing. He could hear the other two TIE fighter still in their tail shooting at them with even more rage. He tried to run faster, but at the speed they were going, it was difficult to maintain balance. 

When he finally got there. It was too late. He could see the ship just a meter away from them and before he could do something, he tumbled to the ground. He closed his eyes, ready for what was about to come, but nothing happened. The only thing he could hear was rapid breathing. He wasn’t sure if it was coming from himself or Rey.

“Ben, are you okay?” she asked. He opened his eyes and stood up from the floor, and to his surprise, they were in hyperspace safe and sound.

“How did you do that? What happened?”

“I changed the course of the ship at the last minute and jumped to light speed. The other TIE fighters didn’t see it coming, and they crushed into each other,” she said with a small smile, proud of what she had just done. Ben was surprised too. He knew Rey could fly, but he had never imagined that she was that good. To do what she had just described, she had to know a complicated manoeuvre that only the most skilled pilots could pull off. It was amazing. 

“I see,” was the only thing he managed to say which was followed by a short silence. “The first order is onto us already. I don’t think it is wise to go to Mustafar right now. They must have reported our coordinates to other ships. They probably already know where we are heading. If we go now, they might catch us before we even get to the castle. We should lie low for today that will confuse them.”

“I agree. We also need more supplies and ammunition.” 

After some minutes of deliberation, they decided to go to Pasaana, a desert planet like Jakku, that was on their way to Mustafar. The planet was very isolated and the inhabitants, called Aki-Aki, didn’t concern themselves with the problems of the galaxy. Although the planet was not very wealthy due to their only source of wealth coming from farming, the Aki-Akis were happy with their way of living. They were friendly beings of simple pleasures. Rey was amazed at how much the planet reminded her of Jakku, but only in terms of the scenery. There were such happiness and peacefulness she had never seen before. On this planet, there were no criminals, everyone just existed in harmony with one another. 

“What is that?” asked Rey as she saw many weird objects of different colours flying in the air. It was wonderful. The mere sight of it brought a smile to her face.

“Kites. I think we came here at the wrong time,” said Ben, pointing to a group of people who were trying to hang pennants around the place where they had settled. They were also people dancing and setting up stores everywhere. 

“What are they celebrating?”

“I think they called it the Festival of the Ancestors. It is held every 42 years to honour the past and look forward to the future.” Said Ben with irritation on his tone. He couldn’t understand these creatures. The world was crumbling apart, and they were just dancing, and flying kites like nothing was wrong. How could they waste their time on something so banal? There were so many things to do, so many things to worry about, to just sit back and pretend like nothing was wrong. It was so pathetic. 

As his thoughts about the Aki-Akis and their happiness continued to ramble in his head, he failed to notice that Rey’s attention had gone somewhere else. She was watching two small children trying to hang some pennants at the top of a pole. They were both jumping up and down like crazy, but they were too small to reach the top. She made her way over to them.

“Do you need help?” she asked, and the two kids answered in their common tongue. She didn't understand what they were saying, but they smiled and gave her the string that was holding the pennants together. With some mild effort of standing on her tiptoes, she was able to tie the piece of string to the pole. The kids made a gesture with their hands, which she understood as a thank you, and then they gesture to another pole asking her if she could help with that one too. She was about to follow their lead when someone interrupted them.

“What are you doing?” asked Ben harshly.

“I am helping them,” she answered back with the same harshness.

“Why?”

“Because they need help.”

“We don’t have time for this.”

“Yes, we do. We agree to lie low for today. There is nothing for us to do, might as well enjoy the celebration.” She shot back. Rey wanted to know more about this planet and the Aki-Aki’s culture. She could tell they were peaceful individuals, and the number of colours and happiness around mesmerized her. It was the first time she had seen a festival, and she wanted to enjoy it as much as she could.

“This is ridiculous, Rey. We should get going,” he said and grabbed her arm abruptly to lead her away, but Rey pulled it out from his grasp immediately with annoyance. He didn’t want to lose his temper with her, but she was making it very difficult. He was already annoyed by the happiness around them, and he didn’t want to stay a moment longer. He honestly didn’t know why it affected him so much, but it did, and it bothered him even more that she couldn’t see it too.

“Why? What is wrong with you?”

“Why? Don’t you realise you are putting us in danger? Or are you really that naïve?”

“I am not being naïve. You are just being paranoid!” She said as her voice started to rise. 

“We will return to the ship, now!” he practically screamed at her not being able to control his anger anymore.

“No, you cannot order me to do things, Ben. I don’t know how you did things in the First Order, but it won’t work with me.”

“At least in the First Order they weren’t this irrational.” He muttered but regretted it as soon as the words came from his mouth. He could feel through the bond that his words had hurt her. 

“Then leave for all I care, or you know what? Maybe it’s best if I leave since I am the one being irrational.” She said before leaving. Ben tried to chase after her, but she was practically running away from him, and the hundreds of Aki-Akis around only slowed him down, and soon he couldn’t see her anymore. He tried to find her through the bond, but she closed it on purpose. He had lost her. 

Rey didn’t know where she was going. She just wanted to get away from Ben. She wanted to pretend that his words hadn’t hurt her, that she didn’t care if he thought she was naïve and incompetent, but she couldn’t lie to herself. She felt so angry about having people in her life constantly doubting her. Why did everybody think that she wasn’t capable of taking care of herself? Like she needed to be rescued? 

Without noticing, one of the kids she had helped a few minutes before approached her. Rey tried to hide her anger and even managed to give the kid a small smile. She didn’t want to scare her. Lucky for Rey, the kid didn’t seem to notice her hidden emotions and only made a gesture that she understood as come closer, so she kneeled to be at the same eyesight. She couldn’t understand what she was trying to say. The Aki-Aki’s language wasn’t like anything she had heard before, but the child didn’t seem to care and only moved closer to give her a necklace. It was a gift that was meant to give prosperity and good wishes to the owner. The simple gesture made Rey smiled. The child kept talking to her despite her lack of understanding and started to make gestures with her hand.

“ _Nambi Ghima_ ,” she said with a hand on her chest. 

“That’s your name? Nambi Ghima?” 

The child nodded and then pointed at her.

“Rey. My name is Rey.” She said back, but the child didn’t seem satisfied with her answer. She kept saying things to her, which she couldn’t understand and kept pointing at her.

“ _Ghima_ ,” she said again, and that was when Rey understood what she was trying to say. She was asking for her family name. The thought made her sad instantly. 

“I don’t have one. It’s just Rey.” 

_It has always been just Rey._

Nambi seemed to have understood her words because she didn’t push further for an answer. She took Rey’s hands in her own and gave them a gentle squeeze before leaving. Now that she was alone, Rey couldn’t help to think that maybe she was never going to find out her family name. She knew her parents were nobodies that had probably left her in Jakku in exchange for something like drinking money. Many other scavengers had told her it was a common thing. She never wanted to believe that it could have happened to her too, but now she didn’t have the will to keep lying to herself anymore. 

She had been around five when her parents left her to work for Unkar Plutt. There was nothing about that day she could remember. Her mind had buried the memory completely. The only thing she could recall was that it was a sad day, the saddest day of her life. Plutt always told her they were never coming back for her. She didn’t know why, but she never believed him. Something had always told her they were coming back, so she started to count the days. She counted each day without fail. It was the only thing she looked forward to. The only thing that kept her alive and wanting to fight for survival. It was also what kept her from leaving. She had held onto the idea for so long that she forgot about everything else. She forgot that there was a whole galaxy out there to explore. 

She still wanted to know the truth, to find them, but she couldn’t help to wonder that maybe the Force didn’t want her to find the truth, that maybe, this was not the path for her. She kept walking with these ideas on her mind when she felt a strong cold breeze. The temperature had suddenly dropped, and she found herself shaking. How was that possible? It was extremely warm a few minutes ago?

“ _Rey_ ,” whispered a familiar voice. She turned around, trying to look for the source everywhere, but she found nothing. She couldn’t figure out where she had heard that voice before, but it unsettled her. It made her feel like someone was watching her.

* * *

  
It took him until dawn to find Rey. When he found her, she was wandering around the stalls looking curiously at the many products the Aki-Aki had to offer. She was smiling amaze at everything surrounding her like she always did. He felt his heart beating faster at the mere sight of her, but her smile disappeared when her eyes landed on him. He knew she was still angry, he could feel it. She had opened the bond now, knowing that sooner or later she would have to confront him.

“Are you okay?” he asked when they were close enough to hear each other. He could tell through the bond that she was restless and that something had unsettled her aside from him. 

“I am fine,” she answered back bitterly.

“Are you sure?”

“I said I was fine!” she yelled, interrupting him. “Look, I am sorry for overreacting earlier, but I am tired of people not trusting my judgement. I have lived alone my entire life. I know how to take care of myself. I don’t need anyone to tell me what is good for me. I already know that. Ben, how are we supposed to work together if you don’t trust me?” she added calmer this time.

“I do trust you, Rey, and I-I don’t think you are incompetent or naïve or weak. On the contrary, I think you are one of the strongest persons I know. Far stronger than what I could ever hope to be. I know you can handle yourself. Kriff, what you did with those TIEs earlier was amazing. You blew my mind away.” He said, looking at her with so much fondness that made Rey’s heart skip a beat. “I am sorry for how I treated you earlier. I said all of those things to you not because I doubt your judgement… I said them because I-I am not used to this. It’s been a very long time since I have been allowed to feel anything that is not anger and to just do things because I enjoy them.” 

It was a new thing to him, to be able to feel so many emotions. When he had been at the Jedi academy, Luke had always told him to push his emotions away, to not lose control or get angry, and when he went to Snoke things didn’t change much. The only thing Snoke encouraged him to feel was the anger and hatred he had suppressed for so long, other emotions like happiness, sadness… love were just useless and pathetic. The hold Snoke had on him wasn’t gone after his death. It still haunted him. Rey could feel that, but she could also feel Ben’s struggle to do things better. 

“I like your necklace.” He added after a while, breaking the silence that had settled between them. 

“Thanks,” she answered, giving him a small smile. He could feel through the bond that she was no longer angry, that she had accepted his apology. “Do you want to dance?” added Rey without thinking.

“What?” he asked. He had been so focused on their conversation that he failed to notice the music around them. A live band had started to play slow tunes, and many of the Aki-Akis had joined the dance floor.

“We don’t have to. If you don’t want to, I totally get it.”

“No, no, I want to. Come on. Let’s dance.” He said, taking her hand in his to lead her to the dance floor.

“To be honest, I don’t know how to dance. I just thought the music was nice, but we really don’t have to…” 

“It’s okay. I’ll guide you.” He said, interrupting her nervous rumbling. 

He got closer and placed one hand on her waist, which made Rey’s whole body shake slightly. He placed one of her hands on his shoulder and took the other one in his own. Rey found herself blushing like crazy by this point, but she was too nervous to enjoy the moment. At first, she kept stepping on his feet, not knowing how to move with the music. She felt embarrassed by this, but Ben only smiled at her in return every time she did it. After a while, she eventually got the pace of the rhythm and started to relax. She moved closer to Ben and settled on his chest. The warmth emanating from his body calmed her like nothing ever could. She felt safe in his arms.

“How do you feel right now? You said that Snoke only let you feel anger, so what is it that you feel now?” she asked, moving her head to see him. He looked pensive for a while like he was trying to find a way to put his emotions into words. She couldn’t help to stare at his lips and think about how soft and inviting they looked. 

“I feel happy,” he said. It felt odd to say those words. He hadn’t been happy in a very long time. He couldn’t remember what it felt like until now. “I feel happy because I am with you. I have never felt this happy before in my entire life. How do you feel?” 

“I feel like I finally know where I belong,” she answered truthfully before closing the distance between them and pressing her lips against his. Ben responded back immediately. He couldn’t believe what was happening. He knew he didn’t deserve any of this, but as the night settled on Pasaana, he couldn’t help to agree with her. 

He had finally found the belonging he had been looking for his entire life.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hi, thank you for reading this chapter. I hope I made justice to Ben's and Rey's relationship so far. From now on we will see their romantic relationship develop, and the conflicts they are going to face to save the galaxy. The next chapter is going to be tuff for them, but it will help them grow in the long run. Let me know what are your opinions, suggestions, and predictions for the story. I love reading your comments ❤️❤️. 
> 
> Stay safe, and may the force be with you all.


	17. Chapter 17

“Hi.” Said Rey, when she entered the main hold, where Ben was already awake and having breakfast while looking through some documents in a holopad.

“Hi,” he answered, and it was followed by a long and uncomfortable silence. “Did you… did you sleep well?” he asked, eventually.

“Yes, fine, did you?”

“Fine, too.”

“So, I was thinking of going to the festival to get the provisions we need.”

“Good idea. I was just doing some research about Mustafar,” he said, pointing to the holopad. They both stared at each other for a moment in silence, not knowing what to say. It was weird. Ben had never felt this nervous around someone before. He was never a man of many words, but it had been a long time since he had felt unsure of what to say. He didn’t care about what others thought, but everything was different with Rey.

“Right, so I won’t be long,” she said, breaking the silence before storming out.

As Rey made her way to the festival, her mind wandered to what happened the night before. They had kissed, and she had liked it, but after the music was over, they both went to their cabins without saying a word. They hadn’t even said a proper goodnight. They just mutter it quickly before closing their doors. It was all very new to Rey. It was the first time someone had held her with such fondness and warmth. It made her chest ache just thinking about it, but it also scared her. In the last few days, she had found herself wishing to be closer to Ben. She found herself craving to be touched by him, but now that it had happened, she was unsure of what to do next.

The atmosphere of the festival was just as happy as the day before. The Aki-Akis were walking and dancing proudly around one another. She walked around, trying to find some provisions when the same cold breeze she had felt yesterday appeared. She covered her bare arms with her hands, trying to find some warmth when suddenly everything became silent.

“ _Rey_ ,” whispered a familiar voice. It was the same voice that made her skin crawl that shook her to the core. She looked around, trying to find the source, but again there was nothing. In fact, the hundreds of Aki-Akis that had been there a second ago were nowhere to be found now. And then everything went dark.

She couldn’t see anything. Her heart started to beat faster. She didn’t know what was happening. She activated her lightsaber to have some light and found that she was no longer in the desert. She was inside a cave, a sand cave. She had no other option, but to keep walking until she found an old speeder. Someone had been there before. She reached out to inspect it and found a strange symbol inscribe at the front. It was red and was surrounded by a large circle with squares in the middle. She heard the voice calling her name again, only this time it wasn’t a whisper. This time it was louder.

She didn’t know where the voice was coming from, but something was pulling her through one of the tunnels. She was shivering, and there was a stranger, a powerful force surrounding her, urging her to keep walking. She knew it was the dark. She knew she shouldn’t follow it, but she couldn’t turn away. It was so strong, and there was something inside of her that kept telling her to keep going. When she reached the end of the tunnel, she found a skeleton. The sight of something so sinister should have spooked her, but she wasn't focusing on that. No, she was looking at something else. There was a dagger hidden in the sand. As soon as her hand came in contact with it, her mind was transported somewhere else.

_There was a woman wearing a long green cape, and she had three buns in her head. She was crying as she held a child in her arms. They were in a tent. Rey recognised it immediately; she had been there many times before. It belonged to Unkar Plutt. She also knew who the woman was. It was her mother, and the child she was holding was her._

_“Mommy, I am scared. Why are you crying?”_

_“I am scared too,” answered the women between sobs. “I love you, Rey. Never forget that. Never forget, I loved you.”_

_“I love you too, mommy.”_

_“I know my love. I know. Rey be brave,” said the woman, letting go of the child for a minute to look at her face one last time. She kissed her forehead and wrapped her up in her arms, holding her even closer than before._

  
_A man entered the tent and joined them in their embrace. He had a pair of green eyes that Rey could only remember seeing before in dreams._

_“You will be safe here,” he whispered, also crying. “I promise.”_

_Rey had no recollection of that day. It was like she had never lived it, but she knew it was real. Rey knew these were her parents. She could finally see their faces and hear them. The love and warmness in their voices were what she had been looking for her entire life. They didn't abandon her. They were trying to keep her safe, to protect her, but from what? What could have possibly been so evil for them to give up their child?_

_She knew she had to watch them leave. Watch her five-year-old self be left alone in the hands of a man who knew nothing about compassion. The memory was tearing her apart. She had wanted to see this her entire life, but now all she wanted was for it to stop. She could sense that there was a reason behind their actions, a reason she wasn’t prepared to face. It didn’t feel right. It felt sinister, and it made her entire body shiver and tremble. She wanted to get out._

_‘I don’t want to know more. I don’t want to be here.’ She whispered between sobs._

_‘You have to know. It’s your destiny,’ whispered the voice from behind._

_Rey turned around and saw a strange figure. It had been there all this time, watching everything. It was wearing a cape that prevented her from seeing its face, but it was enough to terrify her. Its mere presence felt so vile and eerie. She wanted to get away from it. She was trying really hard to use the Force to get out of the memory, but no matter how hard she tried, she couldn’t get out. She looked for the bond she had with Ben. She tapped into it, looking for the familiar comfort she was used to, but she couldn’t reach it. It felt like someone had closed it like they had built a wall to prevent her from going in. She closed her eyes and focused on it harder, putting all her strength on breaking the mental wall between them. And when she opened her eyes, the figure was gone._

Rey was in shock. She couldn’t think about anything. Her mind was blank, and she couldn’t breathe. It felt like all the air had been sucked out of her lungs. She was breathless, and there was a tingling sensation on her face. She didn’t know how long it took her to calm down. It felt like hours, but it had probably only been a few minutes. When her breathing finally settled down, she looked around and realised she was back at the festival. She could hear music and laughter around her. Everything was back to normal like nothing had happened. She was on her knees, and when she looked down on her lap, she saw the dagger in her hands.

At first, she threw it away, not wanting anything to do with it, but a part of her was not ready to leave it behind. The darkness surrounding it was strong, and Rey found herself unable to resist it. She needed it. She wasn’t sure for what, but she did. She stood up and used a piece of fabric from her tunic to wrap the dagger before hiding it in her belt. 

She took a deep breath.

What she had just witnessed had almost torn her to pieces, but yet, the emotion that overcame her wasn’t sadness. It was anger. She was angry at whatever made her parents give her up, angry, at what caused their family to be ripped apart. She couldn’t help to imagine the life she could have had if they had stayed together, but there was no point in thinking about it now. She knew they were dead. She could feel it in the Force, and she also knew that the thing they were running away from wouldn’t have granted them any mercy. It was horrible. She couldn’t find another way to describe it. She didn’t want to think more about what she had seen. She wanted to erase it from her mind. She wanted to pretend like it had never happened.

* * *

Ben was running out of the ship when he bumped into her.

“I was just going to look for you. Did something happen? You closed the bond,” he said, looking at her, trying to find something wrong, but she seemed fine… at least physically.

When he felt the bond close, he found it odd, but he resisted the urge to find her. He figured that maybe Rey just wanted some privacy, but after some minutes he felt a strange tug in their bond which he couldn’t ignore anymore.

“I-I didn’t realise that I did. Must have been unconscious,” she said, not sounding very convincing. She tried to walk towards the ship, but Ben blocked her way with his body, not letting her pass.

“What happened?” He asked with concern.

“Nothing happened.”

“Rey, I felt something…”

“I don’t want to talk about it, please,” she interrupted him by raising her voice. “I have to get these things inside,” she added softly this time gesturing to the two bags she was carrying before walking away from him.

He followed her back to the ship and told her he was going to start the course to Mustafar. She only nodded in return and retrieved to her cabin, where she spent the rest of the trip.

Ben knew she was not telling the truth. There was something that had upset her deeply, but he didn’t want to pry any further, not after the conversation they had yesterday. She needed to know that he trusted her. He also knew that pushing for answers would only make things worse. He had to be patient. She would talk to him when she is ready, and he would listen. For now, there was nothing he could do. She was safe, and that was all that mattered.

It seemed like their plan to lie low had worked because they had no complications getting to their next destination. Not a single TIE fighter had followed them this time. Mustafar, as expected, was not a very lively planet. Vegetation was almost inexistent, except for a few sad trees that had begun to grow, and there were ruins scattered everywhere. But the most unusual thing about the planet was the several currents of lava flowing through many streams.

It didn’t take them long to find Vader’s fortress or the remainders of it. When Ben and Rey descendent from their ship into the planet, they both were overwhelmed by a powerful energy. The place seemed to be haunted by memories of the past, filled with sorrow and pain. Ben knew this was the place Darth Vader, his grandfather, had lived in. He had always wanted to come here, but Snoke had denied his request, saying he wasn’t ready, that he had to be stronger and more powerful to face the challenges that abounded in the castle. Now that he was there, his fears were no longer about not being powerful enough for those challenges. Now he feared not having enough light in him to resist the temptation of the dark.

“Ben?” asked Rey softly when she felt his inner turmoil. She knew this was hard for him. She knew how much he had admired Darth Vader, how scared he had been to fail to become that powerful. And she also knew the pain he had felt when he realised that his grandfather had never contacted him, that all the voices in his head had only belonged to Snoke and no one else. Upon hearing her voice, Ben came back to reality, feeling his fears fade away slightly.

“I’m fine. Let’s just get this over with.” He managed to say, speeding up his pace.

Although the fortress had been aggressively attacked over the years, there were some parts still standing. The entrance was not one of them. The door that had once held the secrets to Vader’s darkness was scattered all over the ground. Ben and Rey had to make their way inside very carefully. From what Ben had read, there was a cult of Alazmec colonist who had sworn to protect the place long ago, and they both could imagine that their presence wouldn’t be welcome. Rey tried to sense them through the Force, but there was nothing. No life. No one was inside protecting the fortress.

“There’s no one here,” she said, confused.

“I know. I find it odd too. Perhaps the Alazmec broke their oath.” He said with a hint of doubt in his voice.

The inside of the fortress was also quite unsettling. For once, it was very dark, and the black smooth stones holding the place together only made it worse, but it was also, desolated and even sad. Just by seeing the way the rooms were built and used, it was clear that a lonely person had lived there. There was no light in the place, no happiness.

Rey and Ben explore every inch of the castle, using the Force to guide them to the crystal, but it was not leading them anywhere. They walked through every room, every ruin, trying to find something, but it was in vain.

The only thing Ben could feel was a pull to a room on the third floor of the fortress. He knew that they wouldn’t find what they were looking for there. There was a strong darkness in that room, and he was doing his best to resist it, but with every passing minute, it became harder and harder. He could feel it calling to him with Snoke’s voice, persuading him with eagerness to give in, to let it happen. He felt someone touch his hand. It was Rey. When he looked around, he realised that they were standing outside that room. He didn’t know how they got there. He had been too lost in his thoughts to notice where he was walking. He let go of her hand and entered the room, giving in to an urge he could no longer resist.

There were pieces of glass everywhere on the floor. They were cables hanging from the ceiling, and there was a black base at the centre of the room. Rey realised that all those pieces had once belonged to a bacta tank. She found it odd that Vader had constructed an entire room for it. He must have needed it frequently to do something like that, but what was odder was the atmosphere of the room. Although there was great darkness all around the castle, she couldn’t sense so much darkness in that room compared to the others. The room was overwhelmed with something deeper with pain, great pain. Pain that Rey had never really felt before. It made her eyes water slightly. She was so taken back by this new emotion that at first, she failed to notice the several lifeless bodies on the floor. They belonged to the Alazmec. They were all dead.

“Someone has been here,” said Ben, but his eyes were distant like he wasn’t really paying attention to his surroundings. Rey got closer to one of the bodies and found several blaster shots all over the creature’s chest. But what alarmed her the most was a symbol that had been engraved in one of their arms. It was the same symbol she had seen in her vision earlier that day.

“Ben, we have to get out of here!” she said, practically screaming, but to Ben, her voice sounded distant, almost like a whisper. He was so overcome by the room that he wasn’t paying attention to anything. His mind was focused on the darkness he had been trying to resist.

_He was in the same room, but it looked different. There were no bodies or pieces of glass on the floor. There was nothing around him. He could feel that this wasn’t safe, that there was a threat awaiting in the darkness, so he activated his lightsaber, and the entire room became red, the same colour of his blade._

_“If it isn’t my young apprentice,” said a voice from behind. Ben turned around slowly, trying to delay the inevitable. He was secretly hoping that he wasn’t truly there, that maybe it was just his mind playing a sick trick on him, but he wasn’t that lucky. Snoke was there, standing a few feet away from him. He couldn’t say anything. He gripped his lightsaber harder, ready to defend himself, prepared to kill him again. “I must say I am impressed. You have been doing a wonderful job at keeping your anger at bay. You have even managed to convince everyone, including yourself, that you are back to the light.”_

_“Get out of my head,” Ben screamed, losing his temper, but it sounded more like a plea than a demonstration of anger._

_“We both know I am only here because you want me to be,” he said, and Ben found himself unable to deny his words. This had to be a vision. Why would his mind show him this if he didn’t want it? “Are you having regrets about killing me for that worthless girl?”_

_“You don’t get to talk about her. Leave her out of this.”_

_If Ben was screaming before, now he was yelling. He couldn’t stand to hear Snoke talking about her. Everything he had done had been thanks to her. Rey made him see the truth, even when she wasn’t trying. She believed in him when no one did. She saw his flaws, and instead of running away, she stayed by his side. And she didn’t just stay; she also helped him, she made him want to become a better man every day._

_“Oh, yes, your affinity towards her is staggering, but does she really know who you are?”_

_“She knows everything there is to know about me.”_

_“Really? Does she know you still hear my voice in your head? Does she know how hard the dark side still calls to you? She obviously doesn’t. If she did, she would have left just like your parents did.” Snoke shot back, and his words felt like daggers._

_Ben knew he didn’t deserve her. He knew he didn’t deserve her kindness and compassion. She deserved better than him. She deserved someone who wasn’t hunted by darkness. Someone who didn’t hear Snoke’s voice at the back of his head telling him what to do. Someone who hadn’t done the things he had, someone who wasn’t a monster. She deserved the entire galaxy and more._

_“Does she know what you are capable of doing? Of what you will do if you are not able to control your hatred?” continued Snoke as he could sense how his words were intimidating him, but it wasn’t enough. He had to see it for himself. With a shake of his hand, his old master conjured the man Ben had loathed for so long: Luke Skywalker._

_Luke was the reason he had fallen to the dark. He had been the one who constantly limited his powers, who constantly neglected him, who tried to kill him. Ben twitched slightly at the sight of the man. He drew his blade closer to his body, but his feet weren’t moving. A part of him, wanted to pierce him with his lightsaber, but what good would that do? If he did it, he would only prove to him what he already assumed: that he was a monster. Was he really going to throw everything away for him?_

_“That man means nothing to me. I won’t waste anything on him,” said Ben as he drew his weapon lower. Snoke didn’t seem too affected by the outcome, on the contrary, he gave him a sinister smile and nodded before speaking again._

_“Perhaps not him, but how about the thing you hate the most in the entire galaxy?”_

_Luke Skywalker disappeared and was replaced by something far much more horrible. Something Ben doubted he could turn away from. In front of him was standing Kylo Ren. The man with the mask that had made many fell to their knees, asking for mercy. The man that he not so long ago claimed to be._

_“Yes, I can sense your hatred. I can sense your fear. Kill it, and you will be free.”_

_He wanted to be free. That’s all he wanted, to be free of the memories that haunted him, that made him feel like a monster. He wanted to forget his mistakes._

_Ben gripped the hilt of his lightsaber tighter than before and raised his weapon as he approached the figure. He was going to finish it. He was finally going to kill the past. He just had to draw his lightsaber closer and then… then what? Would it really change things? Giving into hatred would really help him? No, it wouldn’t. Lying to himself about his past like he had done before would only lead him to darkness, to loneliness. This wasn’t the way. Chewie and Lando had forgiven him. They believed he could do better, be better. Rey believed in him, so why couldn’t he believe in himself?_

_He lowered his weapon and took a few steps backwards to look at Snoke directly in his eyes._

_“No, Kylo Ren will always be a part of my past. Killing him won’t change things. Being scared of myself won’t do any good,” he said, and for the first time in his life, Snoke seemed scared, scared of him. He hadn’t used any violence; he didn’t even threaten him. He just simply refused to believe his words, and that proved to be much more powerful than anything else._

_“What will then?”_

_“Holding onto hope. I did the things that I did because I was angry at the world and at myself for being the way that I am. I let that hatred overpower the love I had for others, but I won’t do that again… I won’t do that to Rey.”_

_“I made you. You are what you are because of me. You know you can never leave behind the darkness that lives inside you,” Snoke said spitting the words like they were poison in his mouth, trying to get Ben to change his mind, but it was too late, Ben Solo was not turning back. He was walking ahead._

_“You are right, darkness will always be there, but so will the light. I don’t need you. I never needed you. You just wanted me to believe that I did so you could use me, but I know my path now.”_

_And with those last words, Ben was back._

“Ben! Ben! Kriff, Ben wake up,” he heard someone screaming as they shook his shoulders rapidly. He opened his eyes and was met with her face. Rey was looking at him with a lot of concern kneeled beside him. He tried to sit up when an awful pain in his head hit him. She noticed this and helped him by putting her hand on his back. “Are you okay? You just passed out.”

“I am fine,” he answered with his hand gripping his head. Rey touched his cheek with one of her hands to look at him. Her hand was cold, but her gentle affection still made his chest warm. As he looked around, he saw the bodies of the Alazmec, which brought him back to reality. “There is nothing we need here. We should go,” he added as he stood up and extended his hand to help her. Rey nodded in return and took his hand, but before they could take another step, they were ambushed by five stormtroopers who started firing their blaster in their spot.

Ben managed to stop the shots with the Force and send them flying back, taking two of them down. They both activated their lightsaber and started fighting. The three stormtroopers left weren’t much of a fight. They weren’t very good shooters, and they both managed to knock them down into unconsciousness in mere seconds.

“Shit, they found us,” said Rey as they recovered their breath.

“There must be more coming,” said Ben as he saw the comms they had on their forearms. The First Order must have gotten here before them. They must have killed the Alazmec. If they took their time to come here, then they must know something about their plan. They probably knew what they were trying to do already. Ben knew that in a few minutes, several fleets of stormtroopers would invade the fortress. They were going to be cornered, and everything they had done would have been for nothing. He had to make a decision fast. “Here,” he said as he took the Holocron from his pocket to give it to Rey. “Take it and go back to the ship. I will keep them busy. If I don’t return in a few minutes…”

“What? No! Are you crazy? We both know we stand a better chance of getting out of here if we work together,” she said, angry at his suggestion. She took a few steps to get closer to him and put her hand on his cheek while the other rested on his chest. “I am not going anywhere, Ben,” she added in a soft voice, looking straight into his eyes.

“Okay,” he said, knowing that it would be in vain to argue. He could feel her determination to stay through their bond. Nothing he could say would make her change her mind. He took a step closer and pressed his lips onto hers. ‘Just in case,’ he added through the bond.

The kiss was short, but it still made Rey’s heart skip a beat. She took his hand, and they both made their way to the stairs. When they reached the second-floor, blaster shots were flying everywhere. They managed to fight a few stormtroopers, but they were too many of them. They ran through the long hallways of the castle, trying to find some cover. They manage to escape to a balcony, and with some help from the Force, they held the door shut soundly. It wasn’t going to hold on long, they both knew that. There was no place to run to now. They had to prepare themselves for what was about to come. They had to fight with everything they had. They couldn’t just let them have the Holocron.

They were both so focused on the door, waiting for it to open, that they failed to notice a ship approaching from behind. It wasn’t until the ship landed, that they finally turned around to look at it. When the hatch opened, three familiar figures descended towards the landing ramp waiting for them to react. Ben and Rey were so overcome with what was happening that they found themselves speechless and unable to move.

“So, are you guys just going to stand there or are you coming in?” asked Poe before they both ran towards the Falcon.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Ok, so a lot has happened in this chapter to our two favourite space babies. Ben is starting to heal, slowly, but making a lot of significant progress. Rey, on the other hand, is not going through a really good time. She has some unhealthy coping mechanisms, and this new information about her parents has taken a lot out of her. We will see how she is going to deal with this in the chapters to come. 
> 
> Next chapter, we will see the whole gang back together. THE WHOLE GANG if you can guess what I mean 😏, and we will have some... honest conversations to say the least.
> 
> As always, I hoped you enjoyed this chapter, and please feel free to leave a comment. I love reading what you have to say about the story. It just makes me so happy. 
> 
> Thank you for reading, and stay safe 💕.


	18. Chapter 18

When the hatch of the Falcon closed, the door to the balcony barged open, with several stormtroopers shooting everywhere, but it was too late. The ship took flight immediately into hyperspace, missing their shots. As soon as the threat was over, Rey walked towards Finn and hugged him closely with a huge grin on her face.

“How did you guys find us? How did you know we were in trouble?” she asked.

“I could sense through the force that you were in danger... and also because we put a tracker on your boot,” said Finn, whispering the last part. “It was Poe’s idea, by the way. Are you angry?”

“No, it saved our lives.”

“Well, in that case, it was actually my idea.” He confessed, making her chuckle. She turned around to greet Rose, and Poe, who seemed to be more relaxed than the last time they had seen each other. Rey was so happy to see her friends again. Ben, on the other hand, felt like he was prying into their intimate moment. He obviously didn’t belong there, but he had to admit that he was grateful for their rescue mission, even if it came from their mistrust towards him. He took in his surrounding, and he finally remembered where he was. He had been inside this ship many times in the past, but still, everything around him felt so new. He was seeing everything in a new light. He was suddenly overcome with a strange emotion when he felt something familiar in their Force. Rey must have noticed it too because she turned to look at him strangely.

“Did you guys come alone?” she asked, but before any of them could answer, two figures entered the main hold.

Ben was frozen on the spot. He couldn’t move or say anything, just stare at the two people in front of him. It felt like time had stopped as if he was having an out-of-body experience. He couldn’t breathe. He felt like he had no air left in his lungs, and there was a strange nostalgic ache in his chest. He couldn’t move. He couldn’t do anything but stare.

Leia took a few steps towards him with hesitation. A part of her was having trouble believing this was real. She was afraid that if she got closer and touched him, he would disappear, but she couldn’t resist it any longer. She reached her trembling hand to his cheek, waiting for the worst, but he didn’t fade away. He was still there, standing in front of her, with his eyes full of sadness and sorrow. The boy she had raised, the son she had loved with her whole heart, was finally with her. He was finally home.

“Ben,” was the only thing she could say as the tears started to stream down her face. She opened her arms and embraced him in a tight hug. He didn’t answer at first, completely overwhelmed with the sudden affection, but he eventually got a hold of himself and wrapped his arms against her tiny figure.

“Mom,” he whispered in a broken voice when he couldn’t help the tears anymore. She looked older than the last time they had seen each other. The years of fighting and leading had finally caught up with her, but her face still had the same amount of affection and compassion as he remembered.

He felt complete for a moment, but then a feeling of something missing took over him. He lifted his head and was met with his father’s gaze. Han was sobbing, speechless as he watched the two of them in their embrace. Just like Leia, he had trouble believing this was real. It wasn’t long ago when he had thought he was going to die by the hands of his son. He could remember the feeling of failure that took over him when he couldn’t get his son back. He felt like his entire life had been pointless, but that didn’t matter anymore because he was here. He was safe.

When Ben was growing up, his father had always been very reserved when it came to emotions. He would never display vulnerability, emotions, for him, were a sign of weakness, and it was always a point of confrontation when Ben was young. Ben was a very emotional child. He cared too much about everything, which made Han uncomfortable. He had always told him to toughen up, to be strong, that real men did not cry over everything. But what he was seeing now was far from that. The emotion his father had in his eyes was something he had never seen before. It was like he didn’t care anymore who saw him like nothing else mattered compared to that moment.

“Dad,” said Ben without thinking. Han managed to cry even more when he heard his son called him dad again and made his way closer to join them in their embrace.

It had been many years since the last time they had hugged each other. A lot of things had changed since then, but the warmness and love they had always been too afraid to utter was still there.

Rey could feel Ben’s feelings as if they were her own. She found herself crying too as she watched from the distance the reunion Han and Leia had wished for such a long time, but the tender moment didn’t last long because several growls coming from the cockpit interrupted them.

_“The power converter and the sub-light engines are not working properly again,”_ yelled Chewbacca.

“Shit,” said Han, breaking the hug. “Okay, kids, you know what to do,” he added, gesturing to Poe, Rose and Finn as he tried to dry the tears he had on his face. The trio only nodded before heading to the power converter, not knowing what to make of the scene they had just witnessed.

_“If you don’t do something soon, we are going to…”_

“I know. I am coming. Stop yelling!” interrupted Han, who still had tears in his eyes as he walked to the back of the ship to fix the problem.

“I should give him a hand,” said Rey, before joining Han, leaving Ben and Leia alone.

Now that the magic of the moment was broken, Ben didn’t know what he was supposed to say. A part of him knew he had to apologise for leaving, for betraying Luke and falling to the dark side, but the other part of him, the one that held all his pain and sorrow, wanted them to acknowledge their wrongdoings. He was about to follow Rey, but before he could move, Leia’s voice stopped him.

“I thought I would never see you again,” she said firmly, with no more tears on her face. Years in command had taught her to hide her emotions.

“I thought so too.”

“I suppose that was what you wanted when you left.”

“It was,” he admitted, and Leia’s firmness broke down for a moment. It hurt to hear him say that. It really did.

“I used to stay awake every night, wondering if you were still alive, regretting not having seen the signs of what Snoke had done to you.”

“Snoke wasn’t the only thing that drove me to the dark side,” he said harshly. He was tired, tired of hearing them blame others but themselves for the things they had done, for abandoning him.

“I thought Luke could help you. He knew more about the Force than I did, Ben. I thought he could...”

“He could what? Control me? Make sure I didn’t become a monster?” he said, raising his voice slightly. Why was she making excuses? “Did Luke even tell you what he did?” he added. Leia did not understand what he was referring to. Luke had told her what Ben had done, how he had killed some of the students by setting the temple on fire, he had told her there was nothing he could do to help him, and then he just disappeared.

“He told me he did his best to help you, Ben. I know he really tried, but Snoke...”

“He tried to kill me!” he yelled, interrupting her. “He went into my hut in the middle of the night and drew his saber to my face. If I hadn’t woken up, I would be dead by now.”

Leia could not believe what she was hearing. Luke; her brother, the man who had been there for her when she needed it the most, the man who had given her hope; had tried to end her child’s life. That couldn’t be possible.

“You don’t believe me, do you? Of course, you don’t believe me. It was foolish of me to think otherwise.” He said as he felt his anger rising. He was trying to remain calm, but this was harder than what he had expected. Tears were threatening to come from his eyes as his emotions overwhelmed him. “Why are you here, anyway? Doesn’t your precious resistance need you?”

“My son needed me. The resistance comes second to that.” She said as if it were a fact. Ben couldn’t help to remember how that had not been the case when he was growing up, how he had been left behind constantly while she dealt with her work at the senate, and how he had always come second, not just to her, but to everyone. “Ben, I-I am sorry. I should have never sent you to Luke’s temple. I thought he could help you, but now I realise I was wrong. It probably made you feel as if we had abandoned you.”

“Yes, it did. It really did.”

“We are here because we want to help you, Ben. Your father and I have failed you, but we want to be here for you now. We cannot change the past. The only thing we can do is hope that the future will be better.”

Hope?

Yes, that was what Rey had taught him still existed, even in the darkest of places. Hope was worth holding on to. He knew that now.

“I am sorry for the pain I caused you. I am sorry for everything I did while I was on the First Order. I hope you can forgive me, just as I will be able to forgive you one day. I hope... this can be a new start for the both of us,” he said calmly this time, and he meant it. 

* * *

It was not a surprise that the Falcon was malfunctioning… again. When Han was able to compose himself, he gave orders to everyone to fix the power converter and the sub-light engines that were more damaged than what they had initially thought. 

Rey was struggling. She loved working on ships, but right now she was stuck fixing the sensor arrays that needed several minutes to cool down. Rey couldn't wait any longer and reached out to touch them, only to get her finger burned instantly. 

"Fuck," she said as she held her burned finger. Why couldn't she have waited a little longer?

"Are you okay?" asked Ben as he entered the room. 

After his conversation with his mother, he went to help Chewie in the cockpit. They managed to get the Falcon into hyperspace without crashing and set it to autopilot so they could go and help the others. He walked around, trying to find something to do when the bond finally led him to Rey, who was jumping up and down in pain.

"Yeah, it's nothing. I just hate waiting for these stupid things to cool down."

"Let me see," he said, walking closer to her. He took her hand in his to expect it closely. The burn wasn't that bad. It would probably disappear in a few days if she ran it under cold water. Ben was holding her hand softly, and without thinking, he raised her hand to his lips and kissed it tenderly. The slight contact of his lips in her hand made her suddenly lose her breath. Her eyes met his, and they both found that they couldn't look away. They were so close, and all Rey wanted was for him to touch her, to pull her closer and kiss her as they had done in Pasaana. She wanted to touch him so badly, but then he looked away and dropped her hand before she could move any closer.

"I can take care of this if you want," he said, putting his hands in his pockets.

"Oh, are you sure? You don't have to."

"I don't mind, really. Besides, I know my dad gave you a long list of things to do aside from this."

"He did." She said, with a small chuckle. "Ok. I guess I'll see you later, then." She added, giving him a small smile.

"Yeah, I'll see you around." He answered back before she left with a disappointed look on her face.

_ I'll see you around? What the hell was that?  _

Ben was regretting every word out of his mouth as soon as she left. Why couldn't he act normal around her? 

"Well, that was bad." 

"Kriff, how long have you been standing there?" asked Ben, startled, when Han's voice interrupted his thinking. He had been to absorb in his thoughts to notice his presence in the Force. 

"Long enough to see that trainwreck. You know, son..."

"Don't call me son."

"Before meeting your mother, I had my fair share of girlfriends..." continued Han as if nothing had interrupted him.

"No. Stop. We really don't need to have this conversation. I don't need your advice."

"Yeah, right, because you handled that situation perfectly." He said, making Ben sighed with annoyance as he worked on the sensor arrays. He knew that when Han wanted to say something, he wasn't going to stop until he said it. "As I was saying, there are two important things I have learned thanks to all my years of experience. Please don't tell your mother about this, but the first one is that they are always right." He added, making Ben almost smile at the memories of his mother and Rey on his mind. 

"I honestly don't know how they do it. Maybe it's because as women, they have it harder than us, that probably has made them wiser."

"What's the second one?" asked Ben in his usual cold demeanour. Han was slightly surprised at his question. He thought he wasn't really listening.

"The second one is that there is never as much time as we think," he said nervously. Something in his voice made Ben turned around to face him. The same pain he had seen a few hours ago was there again, and his eyes were full of sorrow as he looked back at him. "That's why we have to cherish every moment we have with the people we love. Otherwise, we'll just end up regretting our whole life."

He could feel tears threatening to come from his eyes. He knew if he continued talking, he was going to break completely, but Ben needed to know. He needed to know everything. 

"Ben, I-I am sorry for leaving. I am sorry for not being there when you needed me. I was so afraid of making things worse, of not being a good father, that I convinced myself I was helping you by staying way. I was a coward. That's why I left. It wasn’t because I didn’t…" He couldn't finish his sentence because his voice broke, but Ben knew. He knew what he wanted about to say. Tears were now flowing from his eyes without warning, and he started sobbing again. Ben closed the distance between them and wrapped him up in a tight hug. 

"I know. I know, dad." 

They stayed that way for a while, just taking in the moment and the fact that they were together. Ben could remember how not so long ago, he had wanted to end his father’s life. He was so angry, so full of pain, that it had blinded him from everything else. It blinded him from the love he still held deep down for his family. He knew now if he had gone through with it, it would have destroyed him and tore him to pieces. Han, on the other hand, could not think. He could only cry. Years and years of hiding his emotions had finally come to an end. He couldn't hold it any longer. Despite this, his tears were not of sadness. They were happy tears. He was happy to have his boy back and to have a second chance to make things right.

“Oh, thank the maker.” 

They were suddenly interrupted by a familiar robotic voice that made them both grunt in annoyance. 

“Young Master Solo, you really are back. You might not recognise me because of my new arm, but it is I, C-3PO, human-cyborg…”

“I know who you are. What do you want?” said Ben harshly, but the droid seemed unfaced by his tone.

“The princess, I mean the general, is requesting both of your presences at the main hold immediately.”

“We’ll be there in a moment.” Said Han.

“Was it necessary to bring the droid?” asked Ben as C-3PO walked away.

“I asked the same thing when we left.”

Everybody was already at the main hold when they got there. They were all seated in one of the tables. Leia was at the head of it with a holopad in one hand. There were not enough chairs for all of them, so Ben and Han just leaned against one of the walls waiting for an explanation. 

"I know you all have to get back to fixing this old piece of junk..."

"Hey." Said Han, interrupting her.

"But there are several things that we need to discuss," she said firmly. "Many things have happened in this last few days that you may be unaware of." She added, looking at Rey and Ben. "Hux has been appointed as the new Supreme Leader."

"Of course, he was, that stupid asshole." Muttered Ben for himself, but it was loud enough for the rest to hear.

"Yes, but that's not the worst thing. The First Order has publically changed its name to the Final Order. They have officially placed their loyalty to the Siths, and they are urging the rest of the galaxy to do the same. That can only mean that Palpatine is starting to get more control now." Leia said as she opened her holopad to show them the recent actions of the new Final Order. They were invading towns, cities, everything, beating up anybody who dared to not side with them. It was horrible. 

"So, you do believe us? You do believe that he is back?" asked Rey when the pictures were starting to get too much for her.

"Yes, Maz...and Poe have told me about your plan. I must admit that it was hard to believe at first, but the Force doesn't lie. I can feel it, darkness is rising."

Rey turned to look at Poe who was staring at anything but her at the moment. 

"What I am curious to know is what were you doing on Mustafar?"

"Yeah, like seriously Rey that place is very dangerous. The First Order has always kept an eye on it, even before this whole Palpatine thing," said Finn, looking at Rey with concern. 

"The First Order hasn't been active on Mustafar for years." Said Ben with harshness, angry at Finn's words. "They probably went back as a desperate attempt to find something."

"Find what exactly?" asked Rose with intrigued before anyone could say something else. Rey reached to her pocket and retrieved the Holocron and put it in the table for everyone to see.

"A box? I don't get it, what is so important about a box?" asked Han, making Ben roll his eyes.

"Is not a box. It's a Holocron. The Jedi and the Sith used to save important information there. And this one, apparently, can tell us where to find what Palpatine is currently looking for."

"And what is he looking for?" asked Leia.

"The Healing crystal of fire. He needs it to heal his physical body, that is the only way he can restore his powers back."

"Okay, so why don't you just open the Holocron, then?" asked Poe.

"Oh, why didn't we think of that before?" answered Ben back harshly, which made Poe send him a small death glare. 

"We need a memory crystal to open it. That's why we went to Mustafar because we thought we would find one there." Answered Rey before things started to get heated again. "What's that?" she asked suddenly when something on the holopad caught her eye.

"That's the Sith symbol. You have seen it before?" answered Ben.

"Yes, once in a vision and also when we were on Mustafar the Alazmec's bodies were marked with them."

"The same vision you had when you touched the lightsaber?" asked Leia, who was looking at her with a curious glance. What Rey had said intrigued her deeply. She knew that the Force always had a purpose, and if it had shown Rey a vision of the Sith symbol there had to be a reason behind it.

"No, it was another vision." She said shortly. Leia and Ben gave her an odd glare as if they could sense that something was not quite right.

“Perhaps the Force is trying to warn you of the dangers to come,” suggested Finn, and Rey only nodded in response.

"So, what now? __ If you didn't find the crystal on Mustafar, where are you going to look next?" asked Han.

"We don't know," admitted Ben knowing that they only had one option left now.

“Ben, I know you don’t want to do this, but what other choice do we have?” asked Rey. He still didn't want to go, but he wasn't as scared as he had been before. The vision he had on Mustafar had shown him that he could control himself, that he was capable of making the right choices, that there was hope for the future and that he didn't have to be scared of himself anymore. 

He wasn't the monster he had always believed to be.

He took a deep breath and crossed his arms as he walked closer to the table. 

"Rey is right. We should find Luke.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hi, thank you so much for reading this chapter. Let me know what you think of it in the comments.
> 
> The next update will probably take a little longer to come than usual. I am currently in exams and my mental health hasn't been doing so well. I had really bad episodes of anxiety but I am slowly getting better. But do not worry this story will continue. I am already halfway through the next chapter so hopefully, I will be able to post it in a few weeks. Fanfiction makes me happy, but it is hard to write when you are feeling so bad. I hope you guys understand. 
> 
> As always I would love to hear your thoughts on the story so far. I hope I did justice for the Solo reunion. What do you think will happen next?
> 
> Lots of love and stay safe.


	19. Chapter 19

The trip to Ahch-to was quiet, which made Rey even more nervous. She didn't know what was going to happen once they arrive at their destination, but what concerned her the most was Ben. Something was different about him. He felt lighter. His feelings were more controlled, and his anger was more subdued. She thought he wasn't going to agree to talk to Luke; the wound of his uncle's betrayal was still fresh on his heart, but somehow he had managed to push that aside. This change in him intrigued her. She was sure he had seen something on Mustafar, a vision probably while he was unconscious. The memory of his grandfather had been too much for him to bear. They didn't really have a chance to talk about it since they got on the Falcon with everything that was going on. She wanted to ask him, but how could she when she was hiding something? Rey knew Ben could tell that something had happened on Pasaana, but she wasn't ready to tell anyone about it. She didn't even want to think about it. It was too painful. Besides, what good could come of it? 

She was lost in her thoughts when the Falcon dropped out of hyperspace. The island came into view, and everybody hovered into the cockpit to take a look which made Han protest in anger for the lack of space. Everybody wanted to take a look at the place the mighty Jedi had decided to reside in, everybody except Ben. He stayed outside, waiting for the ship to land. He had no interest on the island or Skywalker, all he wanted was answers. Answers that could help them end this fight once and for all. 

As soon as the ship landed, everybody made their way to the front hatch. 

"Great. Let's go!" said Poe enthusiastically taking a step forward, but Rose immediately hit him in the arm, preventing him from taking another step. 

"We will stay here to give you some privacy." She said, looking at Poe angrily while he rubbed his arm. 

Leia gave her a small nod as a thank you before exiting the Falcon. She reached out to the Force searching for her brother, but like always, there was nothing. He had closed himself so far from the Force that not even their close proximity was enough to sense him. 

Chewie and the young rebels stayed behind in the Falcon while Rey led them through some stairs that brought them to a village filled with small huts. Strange creatures were walking around the place, and they didn't seem to be too happy with their visit. One of them even gave Rey a dirty look. But there still was no sign of Luke.

"Where the fuck is he? I have some things to say to him." Said Han with frustration. Ben turned to look at him, surprised at his words, but he didn't have to search his mind to know what was bothering him. His father believed him. The thought brought a strange sense of comfort to his chest.

"He is probably at the temple," said Rey pointing at the peak of the hill.

"I think Rey and Ben should talk to him first, then." Said Leia in the most diplomatic and calm tone possible.

"What?" Ben and Han shouted at the same time.

"It's their mission; they should be the ones to talk to Luke first. We will only be a distraction. We can deal with him later." 

Han was going to protest again, but he knew Leia wasn't going to change her mind. She used her diplomatic tone, which meant that there was no fighting her. Ben didn't seem to happy about it either, but he just let out a frustrated sigh before walking to the stairs. He just wanted all of this to be over as soon as possible. Rey hurried behind him, matching his pace. The stairs to the temple provided them with the best view of the island. Rey wanted to stop to take it all in, to admire the wildlife surrounding them, but Ben was restless. Although he wasn't saying anything, she could feel his uneasiness through the bond. He was nervous. 

He abruptly stopped a few steps before reaching the top. It suddenly hit him that he was going to see the man he had hated for so long again. The man he had tried to hunt down to kill, the man who had tried to kill him in his sleep when he was only a boy. 

"Hey," said Rey stepping closer to him. "It's going to be alright." She added, giving him a small smile. He nodded back, and she took his hand and held it tight as they made their last steps to the top of the hill. 

The old Jedi was just outside the temple, looking at the ocean with his back turn to them. He didn't even move when he heard footsteps. 

"Luke." Said Rey after a long silence.

"I thought I told you not to come back," he answered, turning around to look at her, but she wasn't alone. A face he hadn't seen in so long was standing right next to her. 

"We need your help."

"How? Why...?" he tried to ask, but his mind couldn't formulate any coherent questions. Ben was there, and he wasn't trying to kill him. His mouth was wide open, as he looked at them, and at their hands intertwined with one another. How was that possible?

"Snoke is dead." Said Ben with a cold tone, speaking for the first time. 

"Ben killed Snoke to save me. He came back to the light just like I told you he would." Stated Rey with firmness. Luke still didn't know what to say. He had been so sure that nothing could ever bring Ben back to the light. He was so sure that nothing could ever fix what he had done that night, but he had been wrong. Ben, his nephew, was here. He had come back. 

"Ben, I..."

"We came here because we need to open this," Ben interrupted him. He knew what he was about to say and he didn't want to hear it. He didn't want an apology, not from him.

He took the Holocron out of his pocket without leaving Rey's hand, not even for a second. Her touch gave him comfort. It grounded him enough to do this.

"A Holocron? Why?" 

"The galaxy is in danger." Said Rey with concern in her voice.

"The galaxy is always in danger," said Luke rolling his eyes. "If Snoke is dead, then what new being has taken charge of the First Order?"

"It's not someone new. The Emperor is alive."

Luke almost laughed out loud, but by the expression on their faces, he could tell that they were not joking.

"That's impossible. I was there when Palpatine died."

"Well, he has managed to come back," she said, getting a bit annoyed at his lack of trust...again. Rey was going to start yelling at him when a loud noise followed by a growl that could only belong to one particular wookie, broke through the entire island. 

"Did you come alone?" asked Luke, but before either of them could respond, he started to run down the stairs. 

Chewbacca's growl had awoken something in him. A familiar feeling he had avoided for so long. He could feel the faint presence of several beings. He didn't know why he was running towards that feeling. It was just like an instinct. When he reached the village of the Lanais, he saw them. 

"Han. Leia. I..." he started to say when they were close enough to hear him.

"Don't you Han Leia us!" interrupted Han with anger. "How could you, Luke? We trusted you with our son. We..."

"Han, calm down." Said Leia, giving him a warning look that was enough to contain him at least for now. She then turned to Luke with the coldest expression he had ever seen on her face. "Do you know how to open it? Do you know how to open the Holocron?" 

"There is nothing inside that Holocron that will help you defeat..." he gave himself a moment to consider the absurdity of what they were all implying. "Palpatine or whoever you think has taken over the galaxy. The Jedi teachings..."

"We don't care about some ancient Jedi teachings. We want to open this box because it will tell us where to find the healing crystal of fire." Yelled Rey when they finally caught up with him.

_Okay, now they had gone insane._

"The healing crystal of fire? What are you talking about? That is just a myth created by the Jedi to scare people of their power."

"No is not. The Emperor is looking for it, as we speak, and once he finds it, he will regain his full power, and there won't be a way to stop him." Said Rey practically screaming.

"You can't honestly believe that."

"It is true, Luke. I have felt it. Darkness is rising. You would know it by now too if you hadn't close yourself from the Force." She said with such harshness that every word felt like a dagger on his back.

"Well, it doesn't matter anyway because I don't know how to open that thing." He said, pointing at the Holocron while everybody looked at him with scepticism. "I am sorry, but I really don't know-how. I haven't seen a Holocron in so many years." He added, and his words were followed by a long silence. Luke was their only chance, now what were they going to do?

Ben suddenly let out a sarcastic laugh that startled everybody.

"Of course, he doesn't know anything. I told you this was a waste of time. He was never going to help us." He said with the same harness as his mother before walking away.

He couldn't take it anymore. They should have never come here. He should have known nothing good was going to come out of their visit. He should have known that Luke Skywalker was only going to let them down. 

Ben didn't want to hear his fake words and apologies because how could they be real? How could Luke admit his wrongdoings after everything they both had done? After trying to kill each other? 

It felt so distant the memory of them ever getting along. A young Ben, who had just been abandoned by his parents on a Temple to study the ways of the Force had once admired the legend that was his uncle. He had been so naive back then, so full of hope with the prospect of becoming a Jedi, of becoming like him, but those expectations were soon crushed. His uncle treated him differently than the other kids. Luke was always on edge when he was around, always wary of his action, waiting for him to screw up, to give in to his dark temptations. He had never trusted him. His behaviour was what drove him to the dark side. It made him believe that his path was already set for him, that there was no way of escaping it. 

As he walked through the wildlife of the island, trying to get as far away from everybody as possible, a few strange looking birds approach him carefully. He had never seen this breed of birds before. They had to be native to the island. He kneeled down to take a better look at them.

One of the birds took a step forward, testing the new visitor. After a while, when it realised there was no immediate threat, it got closer and started rubbing its head against Ben's sleeve. He was surprised by the creature's trust in him so much that he took his hand and started scratching the tiny bird's head with fondness.

"They are called Porgs, in case you want to know," said the voice of the last person he wanted to see right now.

"What are you doing here?" he said with harshness as he stood up to tower over the old man.

"I came here to talk to you."

"What for? I don't want anything from you." He said, trying to end the conversation, but Luke persisted.

"Ben, that night at the academy when I looked into your mind, I saw so much darkness, so much that it consumed me for a second. I almost did the unthinkable..." he said pausing for a moment as the painful memory of that night invaded his mind. Ben's eyes full of fear when he saw him standing over him with a lightsaber was something that he could never forget. "I know I betrayed you. You were my nephew, one of the people who I lo-"

"I don't want an apology. You feeling sorry about what you did does not change anything!" Ben interrupted screaming. He could feel tears threatening to come, but he wouldn't let them. He wouldn't break down in front of him, so he took a deep breath, and let out a sarcastic chuckle before speaking again. "You didn't think I was ever going to come back to the light, did you? You never believed in me."

"I-I really hope you can find a way to forgive me one day." Said Luke, after a long silence, unable to deny his words.

"I don't think that will ever be possible." He answered before walking away again. 

When he came back to the Lanais' village, everybody was there waiting for him including Chewie and the other three young rebels. They were talking in hush tones and abruptly stopped at the mere sight of him.

"Let's just go. We shouldn't waste more time here." Said Ben to his mother, the one in charge, with determination. She didn't say anything back, but he could feel a mutual understanding flow between them and her sadness almost as vivid as his own, seeing her brother had pained her deeply, nothing went as she had expected. Luke looked so different, almost unrecognisable. He had even closed himself from the Force. A big part of her wanted to stay, to keep fighting for him, but she couldn't. She had to be there for her son now. 

"I-I am afraid we won't be able to do that." Said Finn in the quietest voice possible. "I might have broken the power converter," he added so fast they almost missed what he was saying. 

"You did what?!" yelled Han. "We had just fixed it. It took us hours!" 

Han wanted to say so much more to the young rebel, but he managed to control himself. Ben, on the other hand...

"Great! So now we are stuck here thanks to your fucking brilliance!"

"Look, man, it was an accident I really didn't mean to..."

"Of course, you didn't. Stupid traitor." He said, loudly with anger.

"Ben. Stop." Said Rey, trying to calm him down, not liking the way he was speaking to her friend.

"Oh, so you want to start that shit again, huh?" Said Poe getting closer to Force user, trying to intimidate him. Ben also moved forward to show he was not afraid of him.

"What are you going to do? Taser me again? I'll like to see you try this time." 

He knew he was provoking him, but he couldn't help it. Poe didn't seem affected by his words as he got even closer to stand his ground.

"Trust me. I'll do more than just taser you. You piece of..."

“Stop!” yelled Leia before either of them could do something stupid. “This isn’t going to solve anything. If you both want to get out of here, I suggest you start fixing the ship instead of wasting your time in this childish behaviour.” She added in her usual diplomatic voice. The two men stared at each other with threatening glances before baking away.

“Fine.” They said at the same time. They both knew Leia was right. It was pointless to fight, but… kriff they really wanted to. 

Han started to give out orders to repair the ship, and he put Ben and Poe as far away from each other as possible. A small part of him, though that they probably needed to fight it out, perhaps it was the only way to cool their temper but knowing his son and the young pilot they were probably going to need much more than that to get along.

Rey, on the other hand, was glad Leia had stepped in on their 'fight'. They were both acting like idiots, especially Ben. She understood why he was angry, confronting Luke had taken a toll on him, but Finn was not to blame for it. He knew how Poe was going to react to his insults, and yet he had done it anyway. How were they supposed to be in the same place together without wanting to kill each other? She didn't want to have to choose between her friends and her...

And her what exactly?

They had kissed...twice, but they still hadn't talked about it. There was an unspoken thing between them. It was different from what she had felt for anybody before. It made her whole body twitched with desire when she thought of him. And his bare chest. And his arms, and his hands all over her... 

But it also made her chest feel warm every time he smiled, which wasn't often. Every time she felt his light through their bond, her heart skipped a beat. Every time he acted bravely and selflessly, she just wanted to hold him closer to her. 

She wondered if that was what couples felt when they were in...? 

She felt a sudden surge of panic and fear when she realised where her thoughts were going. 

"Rey. Rey..." she turned around as she heard someone calling her name, pulling her out of her thoughts. 

"Sorry what?" she answered, turning around to look at Rose, who was working on the other side of the room.

"I was just saying that I think that pipe is secure enough for now." She said gesturing to the wrench Rey was using to tight a pipe that was clearly not loose anymore. 

"Oh right," Rey answered as she dropped the wrench to gather her tools to move to another part of the ship that needed fixing.

"Are you okay? I know things are complicated right now, but maybe with time they can learn to get along.” 

"Honestly I would just be happy if they stopped trying to kill each other." She answered with a small chuckle realising how far they were from ever getting along. "How come you are so fine with all this? With Ben being here?”

Out of the three rebels, Rose was the only one who hadn't question Ben's motives. She had trusted Rey's words on how he had returned to the light. She was the only one who was giving him a chance to prove her wrong. Rose gave Rey a sad smile before sitting in front of her with her legs cross. 

“I lost my sister not so long ago. She was all the family I had left.” She said with a sombre expression on her face as tears were threatening to come out. Rey felt bad for asking. She hadn't meant to cause her any pain. 

"I am so sorry, Rose."

"It's okay. You know I could hate him? I could hate all of them, anybody who works or worked for the First Order.” She said and took a deep breath to calm herself before speaking again as she looked at the floor. "But Paige wouldn’t have wanted that for me. She wouldn’t have wanted me to carry all that anger and hatred on my back. It would have consumed me. I wouldn't have ever been able to move on. That's how we win not by fighting what we hate, but saving what we love. Otherwise, we are just as bad as they are. She taught me that.” She added and took another pause before looking at Rey again with a smile on her face. "And you two have that…don’t you?”

"I-I-" stutter Rey not knowing how to answer her question. 

“Look, the boys may be oblivious, but I am not. There is clearly something going on between you and Ben.” 

Rey was usually a very guarded person. Years of living alone in the Jakku desert had taught her not to trust people with personal stuff. Anybody could use it against you, to get what they wanted, to manipulate you, but she wasn't on Jakku anymore, and Rose, unlike Finn and Poe, was willing to listen.

“I don’t know. We kissed…twice." She said and couldn't help to smile at the memory of Ben's soft lips on her own. Rose was smiling as well, but their sudden joy didn't last long as her fears and worries started to creep out again. "But I-I have never done this with anyone before, and it all just…scares me. I have always been on my own, my entire life. I don’t know how to this. How to let someone in and be vulnerable and honest. I want to, but I feel like I am always waiting for something bad to happen, an excuse not to do it. I am just too damaged.” 

“You are not damaged, Rey. You are just human. I think it is normal to feel that way, especially because you have lived on your own your whole life, but things are different now. We are all here for you, and Ben…Ben cares about you a lot. I have barely spent time with him, but it is impossible not to see it.” 

Her last words made Rey smile again. She knew through the bond that Ben cared about her deeply, but she wasn't aware of the extend of his feelings. 

“There is so much going on right now to focus on something like this.” 

“Perhaps that’s precisely why you should. Time is not guaranteed in a war. We don’t have the luxury to waste it. We are only going to end up regretting it if we do.” 

Rey was unable to come up with another excuse. Perhaps Rose was right. Perhaps, she shouldn't waste more time.

* * *

While everybody was working on the Falcon, the General decided to contact the resistance. She wasn't worried about them per se. She knew that lieutenant Connix and the others were competent enough to manage in her absence, but old habits die hard. As she made her way to the cockpit, she felt a nudge on the Force. It was so faint she almost ignored it, but it was impossible to deny its familiarity. She knew Luke was still close off from the Force, but perhaps it was their closeness and the power of their sibling bond that allowed her to feel him again.

It was so faint it was hard to determine where it was coming from. She had to concentrate intensely on the Force to feel it, but it was there, and it was leading her to him. Luke, as it turns out, wasn't so far away from where the Falcon was stationed. He was sitting on a rock near one of the small huts looking at the ocean. He turned around to face her when he heard footsteps behind him. He looked tired, Leia realised, older, and his eyes somehow were not the same. He didn't look like the Luke she had once known.

"I thought you were leaving." He said as he stood up from where he was sitting.

"We were, but something came up with the Falcon." 

"What a surprise." He said almost making Leia smile. Almost. "Leia, I-"

"Ben told me what happened, what you did. I didn't want to believe it at first, but the more I think about it, the more I know it is true." 

Her words and the coldness in her voice and face felt like daggers to Luke. Daggers, he knew he deserved.

"I know. I am sorry for everything. I don’t have an excuse to justify my actions. You have every right to be angry.” 

“I am angrier at myself for failing him. I sent him away. I made him feel as if we had abandoned him. I drove him to the dark side.”

“Don’t say that. You did everything you could. It’s not your fault. It was Snoke who planted those ideas in his head, and I was the one who-”

“Stop. I cannot keep placing the blame on others for my mistakes. I am his mother. If I had been there for him, he would have never gone to Snoke. I was supposed to keep him safe, and I didn’t. I put him in your hands because I was scared, just like Han was when he left, just like you are now, and that turned out to be his downfall. I failed, and now I am doing everything I can to help him.”

She did not break as she spoke, but Luke could sense the pain and sorrow behind her words. In all the time he had known her, Princess Leia Organa had never not even once admitted she had failed, but there was no way she could justify this.

"Leia, I am so sorry."

“You are sorry? Don’t you think it is a little too late for that? I know you are ashamed of your actions, but why didn’t you come back? Why did you come to this island instead? Why did you leave me on my own to fight for the galaxy?” 

“Because I don’t see the point in fighting anymore! The galaxy will always be at war no matter what we do. Darkness will always exist.” He answered, screaming in frustration, but she still remained calm. He sat down on the rock again feeling overwhelmed by everything refusing to meet her gaze.

“It pains me deeply to hear you say that, but I won’t start an argument right now on how wrong you are because they are more important things to focus on. I know you are withholding information about the Holocron, and I know you think that what you are doing is the best for everyone, but it is not. I am not asking you to save the galaxy. I have given up on doing that. What I am asking you is to trust Ben and Rey. If you really want to make things right between the two of you, then you should start with this.” 

Leia took a few steps towards him, to test if he was willing to look her in the eyes, but his gaze remained fixed on the ground. She turned around to leave but stopped to say one last thing.

“I may not be angry at you like I am at myself, but I am disappointed. I am so disappointed to see the man you have become.”

And somehow that was even worse for Luke.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Ok, so I managed to get the chapter out in two weeks 😂. Honestly, this chapter was really fun to write. I love exploring the complex relationships in the Skywalker family, and I also love Rose's and Rey's friendship. This chapter was supposed to include way more things waaaay more things, but I realised that if I tried to cover everything it would be too long and hard to digest so I divided it in two that's why I added one more future chapter. The next one is probably my favourite so far. It is 70% Reylo and it is going to have a major breakthrough in their relationship. I am already halfway from finishing it. If I am lucky I would have it out in a week, but it depends on other things as well. Anyways, I hoped you enjoying reading this chapter. Let me know in the comments what you think of the story so far. I love hearing your suggestion, questions, or overall reviews on the story. They just make me so happy and more inspired to write. I hope you all are doing well and staying safe ❤️.


	20. Chapter 20

The Falcon still was not completely repaired after spending the entire day working on it. When the power converter broke, it took several systems down with it, including the one that allowed them to set a course for any destination in the galaxy. The realisation that they were stuck on Ahch-To only served to fuel existing tensions. Han could feel a fight coming soon. He wasn't sure who was going to break first, his son or the stubborn pilot, but he had to stop it. At least for Leia's sake, who seemed to be already on edge since her conversation with Luke, so Han managed to convince the kids to stop working for the day, to get some rest. They all had agreed with him, except for Ben, who said he wasn't tired and was just going to continue working. Rey asked him if he was at least going to have dinner, but he uttered a short 'I am not hungry' before going back to whatever he was doing. She was going to push him, to tell him to eat and get some rest, but it would have been in vain. He was determined to get out of Ahch-To as soon as possible, so she just sighed before leaving, hoping that he would come to his senses soon. 

Rey decided to sleep in one of the huts. There were enough bunks on the Falcon for everybody, but she preferred the tiny shelters. There was something about sleeping close to nature that gave her comfort. It made her feel more connected to her surroundings. She made her way across the Falcon to gather the few possessions she had left there before settling on her chosen hut. Once she was there, and the door was closed, she decided to change her clothes. She unhooked her belt and was about to throw it on the floor when the sight of the dagger she had found on Pasaana stopped her. She hadn't really had a chance to inspect it closely. She unwrapped it from the fabric that covered it and held it in her hands. The memory of her parents was still fresh on her mind and seeing the object was bringing it all back. Her eyes were watering when she noticed some strange symbols engraved in the blade. She couldn't read the language, but she was sure they meant something. 

"Master Rey, are you there?" A familiar metallic voice called from the outside as it knocked on the door softly. "Master Rey?"

"Coming."

Rey hooked her belt back on her hips and wrapped the dagger to hide it on her belt before opening the door to reveal the golden droid on the other side.

"Master Rey, I just wanted to tell you that the Lanai are inviting all of you to a lovely feast they have prepared near the bonfire." 

"Okay, yes, I'll be there in a... wait, you can understand them?"

"Of course, I can. It is I C-3P0, protocol droid, human-cyborg relations. I am fluent in over 6 million forms of communication and-" He said but didn't get to finish as the young women shoved him inside the hut, closing the door rapidly. "Oh, Master Rey, what has gotten into you? There is no need for violence." He whined, making Rey roll her eyes slightly in annoyance.

"Can you read this?" she said, handing him the dagger. C-3P0 approached her carefully and took the object in his robotic hands.

"Oh, my, the location of a Wayfinder has been inscribed upon this dagger." 

"What's a Wayfinder? Is it like a tracking beacon?" She asked, not knowing what the droid was talking about.

"It is an ancient piece of technology used for navigation across space." 

"Okay, and where is it?" 

What C-3P0 was saying didn't really mean anything to her. The dagger appeared to hide a secret location, but how was that relevant to what she had seen? Why did the dagger show her a memory of her parents? Why were they connected? A thought occurred to her that maybe it had once belonged to one of them, but that couldn't be. The dagger was coated in the dark side. Horrible things had been done with it; she could feel it. Perhaps her parents had met their demise with that dagger. Tears she had expected started to roll down her face.

"I am afraid I cannot tell you. It is written in the runic language of the Sith." 

C-3P0 didn't seem to notice her emotional state, and upon hearing his voice, she wiped her tears away and lifted her head as if nothing had happened.

"So, what?"

"My programming forbids me to translate it. I apologise." He said, handing the dagger back to her.

"It's okay. Do you-can you at least tell me where the Wayfinder leads to?"

"Yes, to a planet called Exegol." He said and left without allowing Rey to ask any more question. 

Exegol?

She couldn't remember having heard that name before, but yet it felt oddly familiar. She spent the entire dinner thinking about it, trying to remember if she had ever heard it. Rey tried her best to focus on the conversations that were going on around her, but it was difficult. Eventually, she left with the excuse of being tired. Her friends didn't think much about it. Of course, she was tired after all the fighting she had done in Mustafar, but Leia seemed to know better as she watched her leave the table and walk to her hut. She could tell something was going on with Rey. Something she was keeping secret.

* * *

_Rey opened her eyes. When had she closed them? She couldn't remember, and why was everything so cold? She tried to grip the blanket she was using, but there was nothing around her. In fact, she was no longer in her hut. She was somewhere else._

_As she stood, she realised she had been there before. It was the same place from her dreams. The same place where she had seen Ben for the first time after Star killer base. This had to be a dream then, and if she could remember correctly, there should be a..._

_Rey expected to see the throne she had felt so attracted to, and she did, but there was also a figure sitting on it, a familiar dark cloaked figure._

_"Long have I waited for this." It said, making her entire body shiver slightly with fear. There was something wrong. She could feel it. The Force was practically screaming at her to get out. She went to reach for her lightsaber, but there was nothing there. It was gone._

_"Where am I? Who are you?"_

_"You know where you are. You have been thinking about it before coming here." He said, and the thought of that thing knowing what she was thinking made her sick. He had been in her head. "And as to who am I, you already know that. Search your feelings, young one."_

_She did know. How couldn't she? The darkness emanating from him was so powerful, so strong. It could only belong to one person._

_The Emperor._

_"Why did you show me that vision of my parents?" She said with anger, standing her ground as she remembered the dark figure she saw on her vision on Paasana._

_"Because you need to know the truth, Rey."_

_"The truth? That you murdered my parents? That you ripped our family apart?"_

_"No, your parents abandoned you. They feared what you are, so they left you behind in that wasteland to rot."_

_"They were trying to protect me!" She said as tears streamed down her face without warning. They were dead because of him, and he dared to say that._

_"They were trying to hide you from me."_

_"Why? What do you want with me?" She couldn't understand why the Emperor had looked for her, why he had brought her here. There was something in the back of her mind, an answer to all these questions, but she couldn't reach it. It felt like it was clouded by fog._

_Palpatine smiled widely at her question before speaking again. His smile was sinister and vile, but Rey could not turn her gaze away from it._

_"You must know. You must feel it in the darkness that lives inside you."_

_"I don't know what you are talking about."_

_"Do you know what this place is?"_

_"Exegol."_

_"Yes, but it is more than just a name. This place has long belonged to the Siths." He paused, not leaving her gaze for a second. "Soon a new Empire will rise from here, and the one seated in this throne will command the entire galaxy. They will have power like no one can ever imagine. People will bow before them, they will love them, and those who oppose them will be crushed to dust." He made another pause before asking her a question she could not deny. "It calls to you, doesn't it?"_

_Rey didn't answer. She felt ashamed, ashamed to admit the truth to him. At her lack of words, Palpatine found what he was looking for and smiled wickedly._

_"Ah, yes, it does. You will be please to know that it belongs to you by birthright."_

_"What?" Asked Rey, practically forcing the words out of her mouth._

_"Look inside you, Rey. All that hatred, all that anger is what you are. It is what you are meant to be. I know you can feel it. My blood runs through your veins. I am your grandfather."_

_"No," She said, almost whispering. Rey wanted to scream, to yell, to attack him and kill him right there, but she was frozen on her spot. She could only cry. "It can't be. You are lying."_

"You know that I am not. _There is great anger in you. I can feel it. The dark side runs through you. You must give in to your hatred. There is no point in resisting. What is holding you back?"_

_She tried not to think about it, to not show him her weakness, but it was impossible. She couldn't help to think about Finn, her first friend, the person who had come back for her. What would become of him if she took the throne? And Poe? The person who she couldn't see eye to eye all the time but who was still there, trying to trust her. And Rose, who was always so kind? And Leia, and Han, and Chewie, and..._

_Ben._

_What would he do if she joined the dark side? He would be alone again. She didn't want that for him. She didn't want to be apart from him, not when they had just found each other. She wanted to be with him...always._

_"Ah, yes, even I cannot deny the powerful bond that binds the two of you together." He said, and Rey tried to block him from her mind, but he was so powerful, so powerful that it took him no time to break down every mental barrier she had. "It is something unseen for generations. A Dyad, two that are one. A power like life itself."_

_A Dyad? She had never heard such a thing. She wanted to know more, but not from him, never from him._

_"But you are not using your connection for what is meant to. With such power, the two of you could become unstoppable. You could both rule beside me. I am all the family you have left, Rey. You will never be alone if you join me." As he was speaking, two figures appeared at his side. Rey went down to reach her lightsaber again and found it still wasn't there. But she didn't need it. She knew the figures. One of them was wearing a mask she knew very well. Kylo Ren was standing in front of her, and he wasn't alone. She was at his side, but that version of herself was almost unrecognisable. Her eyes were yellow and full of hatred, and in her hands, there was a double lightsaber that glowed brightly with the colour red. The power that flowed between the two figures was undeniable. It almost felt as strong as Palpatine's. "You could become Empress." He added knowing how it would affect her._

_The word Empress sent a shiver down her spine, but this time it wasn't fear. This time it was longing. She would never be alone again if she held such power. Nobody would ever hurt her, nobody would ever leave her behind. She would have her grandfather, the only relative she had left... but what about Ben? She couldn't do this without him._

_"If you asked him, he would return to the dark side for you. He would do anything for you, but you already know that. Doesn't it feel good to hold that power over him? To know that he would bow before you without hesitation?"_

_But, as she looked at the two figures, she realised that that wasn't what she wanted. She didn't want to make Ben suffer. It suddenly hit her that no matter the power of their bond, the dark side would always make her want to overcome him. It would not allow them to be equals. It would only give them false promises, and then it would pin them against each other until they destroyed everything they had built together. The galaxy would suffer because of her greed. The resistance, her friends, innocent people who had done nothing wrong would perish unfairly. They didn't deserve that._

_"No. It doesn't. Your blood may run through my veins, but I am not like you."_

_"You cannot resist the temptation for so long."_

_"I will. I will resist it. The galaxy will not be lost by your hand, not if I am here to stop you."_

_"Such promises you make, Rey of Jakku, but we both know it is only a matter of time before you and Kylo Ren join me."_

_"His name is Ben Solo... and I will never fall to the dark side." She said with such determination that it almost made the dark figure of herself twitch, but Palpatine remained unfaced. He gave her another one of his creepy smiles before speaking again._

_"We'll see."_

* * *

Everything had been quiet the rest of the night in the Falcon. After Dameron left, Ben felt calmer and got more work done than he had expected. He didn't really want to sleep, not until everything was fixed. The less time they had to spend on that stupid island, the better. He was also really enjoying the work. It was practical and left little room to think, which was good because he didn't want to think about anything, especially about Luke. His uncle once again had no answers, and he even dared to tell him he cared about him when he knew that wasn't true. Where had Luke's worry been when he cried himself to sleep every night because of the voices in his head? Where was all his 'love' when he held a lightsaber to his throat that night? It was all a lie, and he knew it, but he wouldn't engage with him. He would not risk anything for him, no matter how angry he was. He would just move on and never see him again. 

Around midnight, he was hammering a few screws together when he felt a shift in the Force. An indescribable fear suddenly invaded him. It was so strong, so horrible that he had to stop what he was doing to calm himself, but what scared him the most was when he realised where those emotions were coming from.

_Rey._

She was in danger. Ben could feel it. He rushed out of the Falcon, running and using their bond to find where she was. It led him to one of the huts. He didn't even bother knocking. He just tore the door open and found her on the floor, tossing and turning and screaming and crying. The sight was horrible, and her pain was unbearable. He made his way to her and gripped her shoulders tightly, trying to wake her up.

"Rey. Rey. Wake up." He said, but she wasn't listening. She continued to cry even louder, which made him more desperate. He had to get her out of it. He closed his eyes and concentrated all his strength on their bond, sending all the peace and calm he could manage to her. It felt like there was a wall between them, but he kept pushing until there was nothing in their way. "Come on, just wake up."

And her eyes suddenly flared open.

"Ben." She said before throwing her arms around his neck to bury herself in his arms. Ben held her closer to him and put one hand on her head, moving it gently in soothing motions. 

"It's okay, sweetheart. It was just a dream. You are safe. I got you." He said when her sobs became louder, and he wasn't sure if he was reassuring her or himself. She didn't say anything back, she just kept crying, and he held her. He would hold her forever if he could. 

He was so overcome with everything that had happened, that it wasn't until she started shivering when he remembered that they were still on the floor. He put one hand under her legs, stood up, and made his way to the bed to sit with her on his lap. Rey didn't move at all if anything she just held on to him even tighter. Ben took her arms out of his shoulders to wrap her up in a blanket. He held a hand to her cheek and kissed all her tears away. She seemed to soften a little at his touch, but so much pain and fear still remained in her eyes.

"He was there, Ben. I saw him. It was horrible. It was so horrible." She said in between sobs.

"Who was there?"

"The Emperor. Palpatine." 

He rested his forehead against hers. No wonder the nightmare had left her so shaken. If he had seen the Emperor in his dreams, he would have probably felt the same way or even worse, considering all the control he had over him not so long ago.

"It wasn't just a dream. It was real." She whispered so low that he almost didn't hear it.

"Some times, it can feel that way." 

"No, listen to me. This wasn't just a dream. This...this isn't the first time I have seen him." She said, and he raised his head to look her in the eyes. He didn't understand. 

_'How is that possible?'_ He asked through the bond, unable to say it out loud because he didn't really want to hear the answer.

Rey closed her eyes and took a deep breath before his mind was suddenly overcome with images of Pasaana. He saw their awkward conversation the day after their first kiss. He saw her at the markets trying to find the provision they needed for the rest of their trip. Then he felt cold and saw a dagger on his hands and was overwhelmed with a bunch of memories and emotions. He saw her parents, saying goodbye to her. He felt her pain as she was finally able to see their faces, and he also felt her fear when she saw a dark figure watching her from the distance. It was him. His presence was undeniable, but why? Why had he shown her that? Was this part of his plan to defeat them? 

"Do you remember the first time we saw each other after Star Killer base?" She asked once the images on his head stopped. He knew what she was talking about. He had seen that place many times before in visions and dreams. The throne had always called to him. It had great power, it wanted him to take it, and it always ended before he could, but when Rey appeared that night, he no longer felt drawn to it. Their bond was so strong that it overpowered the darkness of the place. "Do you remember the throne?"

"Yes, it called to me... until I saw you." He answered and kissed her knuckles softly.

"It called to me too." She said as a tear rolled down her face. She was still ashamed to admit it, ashamed to admit she was drawn to the darkness, but she was even more ashamed of what she was about to say. "I was there again tonight. He told me- The Emperor told me it is mine by birthright."

"I don't understand?" He asked, holding her cheek as more tears stream down her face. Rey closed her eyes and remained quiet for a few seconds, trying to control herself.

"I am his granddaughter." She finally whispered.

"Rey, look at me. He is lying. He wants you to believe that. He-"

"No! He is not, Ben. I-I can feel it." She yelled in between sobs. She knew it was true. There was no point in denying it, but she was scared, scared of what he would think of her, and scared of herself and the things she was capable of. Ben was about to say something, but the look in her eyes hold him back. When he had found out that his grandfather was Darth Vader, no matter how much he had wanted to deny it, something inside of him knew it was true. Ben could only imagine that Rey felt something similar. "He offered me the throne, and I-I almost took it. I have never felt so much darkness. It scares me to know what I am capable of. What if I had given in?"

"But you didn't. It doesn't matter what you felt, Rey, that doesn't define you." He said and held her closer to his chest, burying his head in her shoulder and rubbing his hands softly along her spine. Ben had believed for such a long time that feeling the darkness meant that he was destined to fall, so he did his best to become a monster, but no matter how hard he tried he could never get rid of the light. He thought his path was set for him, it wasn't. "The choices we make are what define us. You taught me that. You taught me to fight for what I love, that it is never too late if we start making the right choices." 

Rey untangled herself from his arms and saw such fondness and determination in his eyes that it made her heart skip a beat. Nothing had changed for him. The news of her heritage didn't change how he felt about her. She felt slightly relieved to know that he was still there with her.

"I am sorry I didn't tell you before about my visions in Pasaana. I just didn't want to think about it. It was too painful. It still is."

Nothing could erase the pain of knowing the truth. She knew it was something she would have to carry from now on. She would have to live with guilt on her shoulders. Her parents had died because of her, to protect her. She was part of the reason they were dead.

"Hey, it's okay. I understand why you did it." Said Ben, when he felt a new wave of sadness coming from her. They were tears still in her eyes. He leaned into her to kiss them away, but she held his cheek and met his lips with hers. 

The first time they had kissed, it had been like an explosion of happiness for him. It was the moment he realised he could actually be happy, that years of pain and anger hadn't taken away his ability to feel joy. The second time, the time he had kissed her, had felt more passionate than the first time, even if it was considerably shorter. It was a desperate attempt to have her close one more time, to feel her one last time. But that kiss the one they were having now felt different. He could feel her tears on his face, but it didn't matter. The kiss felt reassuring, calming, like a silent promise they both had made to each other to be there for the other when they needed it. They were not alone anymore. 

"Stay with me tonight." She said with some worry of rejection on her face when she pulled away. "Please." She added before meeting his lips again in a tiny peck. 

He didn't say anything he just nodded before laying down on the bed, that was definitely not built for a person as tall as him, with her still in his arms. 

Rey was significantly more calm than when he had found her, but he could still sense her sadness and worries. He wished he could take it all away, but he couldn't. What she had found out had scarred her deeply. It was a pain she would have to learn how to carry, and he knew she could. Rey was the strongest person he had ever met. She was a survivor that despite going through so much in her life was still willing to fight for others and to do what was right. That was one of the things that he most admired about her. 

He placed a hand on her back and started making circles along her spine with his fingers while trying to send her reassuring thoughts through their bond. He kissed her forehead, and she gave him a sad smile that was short-lived before worried returned to her face.

"What are we going to do now? Luke doesn't know anything." She asked with so much worried in her voice, it almost broke his heart. 

"I am not sure. I think our best shot is to look for more information on memory crystals. Perhaps there is something in the Jedi texts that we overlooked, and if there is nothing there, some places around the galaxy still hold valuable Jedi information. At least one must have something we can use."

"What if they don't?"

"Then we'll find another way." He answered and was surprised by the sureness of his tone. During the last few days, he had tried to hold on to hope. He knew it was there, and that it was worth holding on to, but it always felt like he was reaching for it, finding ways to keep it alive, but now, now that Rey was laying in his arms, it felt closer than ever. It felt natural.

"How can you be so sure?"

"Because I am starting to believe that we can do anything if we stick together."

* * *

When Ben woke up the next day, he realised he was in trouble. Last night, when Rey had asked him to stay, he had been too worried about her to think about anything else. He had failed to acknowledge the implications of sharing a bed with Rey. She was still asleep in his arms, and her face was peaceful and beautiful as always, but their tight closeness was making his body react unfavourably. There was a bulge in his pants, and he felt his heart racing faster by the second. He moved her slowly to his side so he could calm down. It worked at first, but then she started to stir and not long after she opened her eyes.

"Hi." She said quietly with a small smile. 

"Hi." He said, and he couldn't help to smile as well. "Are you feeling better?" He added with some relief that she hadn't noticed what was happening to him. 

Rey only nodded in return, and he brushed some loose hairs from her face putting them behind her ear. She leaned warmly to his touch in return. 

"Thank you for staying with me." She added after a while before kissing his cheek sweetly. Ben gathered one of her hands in his own and squeezed it gently.

"You don't have to thank me for that, sweetheart." He whispered and kissed her cheek before giving her a peck on the lips, making Rey's heart skip a beat. When he tried to move away, she pulled his shirt in retaliation and capture his lips in her own again. He was surprised at first, but then he started responding back and place his hand on her waist, bringing her closer to him. Rey felt his tongue inside seeking entrance, and she granted it with eagerness. She could feel her blood rushing and excitement pouring through her body. It felt right to be this close to him, but it wasn't enough she wanted more so much more. A moan escaped through her lips, and that seemed to have put Ben off because he suddenly pulled away. She searched for him still with her eyes close, but he only moved further away. 

"I-I think I should leave before they all wake up." He explained.

"Oh, right, yes, I think that is a good idea." She said with disappointment, but he didn't seem to notice because he gave her a small smile and pulled the covers away from him to stand up.

"I'll see you later, after breakfast, so we can look at the Jedi texts again." 

"Sure." She answered, and he started to walk to the door, but stopped midway and turned back to give her one small kiss, which made them both blush uncontrollably. 

As soon as Ben walked out of her hut, he was met by a familiar figure. Chewie was sitting in the campfire with a fish in his hand. He had woken up early to hunt something for breakfast, and he hadn't expected to see his nephew walk out of Rey's hut, but he couldn't deny that he wasn't surprised. 

"It's not what you think." Said Ben not really sure of his words. He had gone to her hut last night because she needed someone to comfort her. It wasn't a night of passion, and they hadn't really done more than just kissing, but this morning what if he had stayed longer? Would it have let to something else?

_"Sure, whatever you say."_ Answered the wookie with sarcasm and a huge grin on his face before returning to his fish.

"Can you not tell Han about this...or Leia...or Luke...or-? Can we just keep this between us?" Asked Ben in defeat knowing that nothing he said could change his uncle's assumptions.

" _I won't say anything. Not that it would make any difference. You stare at her like she is your whole world, little Ben._ " Said Chewbacca, and this time Ben couldn't deny any of his words.

* * *

No one else had noticed that Ben had spent the night at Rey's hut, and Chewbacca had kept his word not to say anything. After breakfast, Ben and Rey made their way to the crew quarters of the Falcon with the Jedi texts, while everybody else continued to work on the repairs. Han was surprised to see his son put repairing the ship aside. All he wanted was to get out of the island as soon as possible, but now it looked like he had other priorities in mind. 

Two hours had passed in silence. Both of them focused on reading, trying to find anything useful. He knew that they probably would not find anything. The chances of that were slim. The texts were mostly about the Jedi code and the Jedi 'lifestyle'. There were many pages going on and on about how attachment and emotions led to the dark side. He couldn't help to roll his eyes in response to that, but there were also some interesting things that he had failed to pay attention when he was a young padawan in Luke's temple. There was a small passage in the Chronicles of Brus-bu about how to fix a damage kyber crystal. It was all about fixing physical damage, but it made him wonder if it was possible to heal a bleeding crystal. He knew someone had done it before, but there was little recollection on the incident. It was a thought for another day. His reading was suddenly interrupted by a small chuckle coming from Rey, who was seated in front of him.

"I just noticed you have a flower in your hair." She said, trying to contain her laughter. A bright yellow flower that was tangled in his hair spoiled his massive and authority figured. He tried to get it out, but it only got it more tangled. "Here, I'll help you." She added before standing up and walking towards him.

She took a while to get the flower out, but Ben didn't mind. She was standing between his legs, and her face was mildly flushed. She was being very gentle with her finger trying not to pull his hair, but he secretly wished that she did. 

"Did it hurt?" She asked, pulling him out of his thoughts. He didn't know what she was talking about until her hand reached to his face and started tracing his scar. He shivered at the contact.

"Not really." He answered and put his hands on her hips to bring her closer.

"I am sorry." She said seriously. 

"Don't be. I deserved it." He said, and that made her smile. In all truth, he was actually starting to like his scar. It reminded him of Rey and her resilience. 

"Yeah, you kind of did." She answered and then she leaned in and kissed the beginning of his scar with so much fondness that it almost made his heart explode. When she pulled away, he gripped her hips even harder to bring her back. She smiled at his boldness and looked directly at his lips. She could feel him leaning in, his breath was so close, he only needed to...

"Wow. I-I am sorry. I wanted to speak to both of you, but I didn't realise you were... busy." Said Luke, interrupting them and making them break apart. "I'll come back later."

"No, no, there is no need now." Answered Rey, trying to hide her annoyance. This was the second time Luke had interrupted them. She could only hope that this would not become a habit. The old man looked so uncomfortable with what he had just witnessed that he wanted was to leave, but Rey returned to her seat and insisted to hear what he had to say. 

"I was thinking about the Holocron. You both mentioned that you need a memory crystal to open it, right?"

"Yes." Said Ben harshly. 

"Well, unfortunately, there are no memory crystals left in the galaxy. After the Jedi Order collapsed, the Siths destroyed them all. They wanted to get rid of any Jedi teachings, and they did. They destroyed everything." 

If what Luke was saying was right, Ben thought, then they would have to find another way to open the Holocron, but was there another way? There had to be. They couldn't fail here not when there still was so much to do. 

"Except for one." Said Luke pulling a green diamond out of his pocket. "One that was given to me by my father before dying."

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hi. Thank you so much for reading.
> 
> First of all, I want to apologise for the late update. I work in retail, and because we are so close to the holidays, things have started to get really busy. I really hope that the next chapter can be out by in two weeks like its regular time, but to be honest I doubt it. I won't make any promises, but it will come. I love writing this story and I will not give up on it.
> 
> Second, what did you guys think about the chapter? It was definitely one of the hardest for me to write. There is just so much happening, but I hope I did a good job of portraying their sadness and anger. Also, who would have thought that Granpa Palpi would be a Reylo shipper 😂? I for once didn't see that coming. I don't want to give away much, but this won't be the last time one of the characters will struggle with the dark side. There will also be more on that later.
> 
> And finally, please, as always, feel free to leave a comment in the reviews. I love to hear your feedback, question, and anything else that pops into your head about the story. Your comments give me a lot of motivation to write and each one of them is so precious to me.
> 
> Please stay safe,
> 
> I'll see you again in a few weeks.


	21. Chapter 21

Silence stretched across the Falcon. Everybody was in the main hold, waiting for someone to make a move, to utter a word. The memory crystal and the Holocron remain untouched, on a table, in the middle of the room. The quiet for once in Ben’s life felt unbearable, but he did not want to end it. He did not want to show how much his uncle’s contribution could change everything for them.

“Why haven’t we open it already?” asked Han all of a sudden ending the silence. He couldn’t understand why they were all just looking at each other instead of doing what they came here to do.

“Wait… it’s not going to explode, is it?” asked Finn with fear, which made Ben roll his eyes. The stormtrooper was clearly not the brightest of the bunch.

“No, you just need to use the Force to open it.” Answered Luke coldly.

“Ok, so do it.” Said Han, looking at Luke directly in the eyes. He was about to answer, but Leia spoke before he could even open his mouth.

“He can’t. He has cut himself off from the Force.”

“Well, uncut yourself!” Han yelled at him as he got up from his chair in anger. It hurt to see them both angry at him. When they were young adults travelling across the galaxy in the Falcon, Luke had never been the cause of a fight between them. He preferred to leave them alone once their bickering started, especially, because most of the time it ended in passionate displays of affection he definitely did not want to see, but this time he was the centre of the fight, and there was no running away.

“It’s not that simple.” He said softly, not wanting the yelling to escalate. In truth, it was really easy to open himself back to the Force. He just needed to let go. It actually cost him more effort to stay close off because it was not his natural state of being, but it wasn’t easy for many other reasons, reasons he did not want to get into right now.

“What do you mean is not that simple? Just do it.” Said Han, still yelling.

“The problem is that he doesn’t want to do it.” Added Leia with an angry glare.

“Kriff, I can do it. Just stop shouting.” Interrupted Ben, making the three seniors look away from each other. 

Luke was about to suggest that perhaps Rey should be the one to do it. The Holocron was a Jedi artifact that would only reveal itself to light users, but he could imagine how badly that would go. It would only make everyone angrier. He could only hope that Ben’s turned to the light was enough to open it.

“You just need to attune the crystal with the-“

“I can figure it out myself. I don’t need your help.” Said Ben harshly, not letting Luke finish his sentence.

He took a deep breath before reaching out to the Force. He made the Holocron, and the crystal levitated in front of him. He could feel the connection between them. It was powerful. It took him a few minutes to figure out what to do next, but then he felt a pull in the Holocron. There was an empty spot on one of its sides, the size of the crystal. He placed the crystal in that spot and soon after he could feel a click. He tugged into the Force again with more strength this time, and that was enough to open it.

A blue hologram of a man with long hair and a beard appeared before them. His face was peaceful, and he wore robes that looked like they had seen better days.

“This is Master Qui-Gon Jin.” The figure said. “I regret to inform, that the Jedi’s attempts to keep the Healing Crystal of Fire hidden have failed. Many have tried to steal it with the hope of saving their loved ones from ill fates, but others do not have such selfless reasons to possess it. They wish to use it to serve the dark side, to corrupt people and make them succumb to their will. The crystal has great power, and it must not fall into the hands of the enemy. It is no longer safe in plain sight, that’s why I have hidden it away. It will remain in Coruscant in the Jedi temple, but only those who are one with the Force will have access to it. For the future Jedis who are watching this, you must understand, that it is the Jedis responsibility to maintain peace in the galaxy even if it comes with a price.”

After the man finished talking, the Holocron shut off and fell on the table, making a loud noise.

“I don’t understand, is it in Coruscant or not?” Asked Rose, speaking for the first time. She felt like it wasn’t her place to ask questions, but she couldn’t hold back any longer. The curiosity was killing her.

“Yes, but-“ Luke was starting to answer her question, but was soon interrupted.

“Let me guess, there is a whole weird and complicated Force thing to it?” Asked Han, irritated. Why did Force users always make things so complicated? Couldn’t they have hidden the kriffing stone in a vault or something?

“Well, yes. The crystal is in Coruscant. The problem is that it is not in this realm.”

“What do you mean?” Asked Rey. Realms? She had never heard about that before in her life.

“There are many layers to the Force. The one we live in is one of many. The crystal is hidden in a different one than our own, that’s why we cannot physically see it anymore.” He said, but as he looked at everybody’s faces, it was clear that nobody was following what he was saying. “You see when we die, we are transported to another realm of reality, somewhere where we can see the living, but not interact with them unless you are a Force user. In that case, you can manage to venture between worlds. The crystal is in the realm of the dead, hence the whole ‘only those who are one with the Force will have access to it’.”

“So, you are saying that the only way to get to the crystal is to die?” Asked Poe in disbelief. This entire thing made no sense to him.

“There is another way, but you have to leave your physical body behind to do it. Your mind and soul can venture into another realm if you can reach a certain level of profoundness in the Force while meditating. The only problem is that it is really hard to come back from it. You ran the possibility of getting trapped... forever.”

“How do you prevent that from happening?” asked Leia.

“I don’t know.” He answered, honestly. “There is no recollection of what actually happens in that realm. Everybody who has ever tried to go there has not come back to tell the story. I think your best option is to leave this behind. I know you all believe that the galaxy is in danger or whatever, but there is no way to retrieve this crystal without getting trapped. And to be frank, I still can’t comprehend how you are all so convinced that Palpa-“

“I’ll do it.” Interrupted Rey so casually that it took a few seconds in everybody’s brains to register the meaning of her words.

“Rey...” Finn said with pain in his eyes but then stopped, not knowing how to put his emotions into words. He didn’t want his friend to sacrifice herself, not even for such an important cause like this one.

“No, absolutely not.” Said Ben, almost yelling. Rey could feel his anger building up inside, but that didn’t stop her from wanting to do this. She turned to Luke to address him personally, ignoring everybody’s concerns.

“I just need you to teach me how to reach that level of profoundness with the Force and then I’ll-“

“You are not doing it, Rey. There is no discussion about it.” Ben said so firmly it felt like he was giving her an order. It made her furious. He had no right to decide for her. Why was he questioning her abilities...again? She was about to yell all her frustrations at him when he spoke again. “We all know I have to be the one to do it. I caused so much harm to the galaxy it is only fair that I do this to compensate for my wrongdoings.”

“Fine by me,” whispered Poe, but it was loud enough for everybody to hear, which made Rey give him a death glare in return.

“There has to be a much safer way to retrieve the crystal than this,” Leia added, not convinced of what she was saying.

“I don’t think there is.” Answered Ben.

“So, what? You are just going to die for this?” Asked Han, frustrated.

“Who are you to decide who gets to do it?” Asked Rey, also frustrated.

“Rey, just let him do it.” Said Finn, not understanding her reluctance. He couldn’t believe this, but for once he actually agreed with Ren. He had caused so much harm, it was only fair that he would get to be the one to do it out of all of them. "You can't seriously-"

“You are crazy if you think your mother and I are letting you do this.” Said Han, interrupting the argument between Finn and Rey. It had been a very long time since Ben had heard that tone coming from his father. It made him feel like he a kid again. Soon after, they all started speaking at once and yelling in frustration. Even Rose and Chewbacca got in it when Finn yelled even louder, and Han said that he should be the one to do it.

“Why do you want to do it, anyway?” Asked Poe to Rey in between their argument. Luke could only watch them argue for so long. He closed his eyes and took a deep breath before doing what he knew he had to do.

“I will do it.” He said, and that was enough for everybody to stop yelling. They all turned to look back at him to see if he was serious.

“You want to do this? You don’t even believe that Palpatine is back.” Said Ben in an incriminating tone.

“No, but I believe that one of you is stupid enough to do this no matter what, and I, unfortunately, don’t want to see any of you die." He explained, but they all continue to look at him with disbelief. "Look, I came to this island to die might as well get it over with already.”

“Is this your way of trying to stop us?” Asked Rey with suspicious.

“No, I mean it. I will find the crystal or at least try to. You all know this is your best shot at retrieving the crystal, anyway. I know more about the Force than either of you. I have a higher chance of being successful.”

The entire ship went silence for a few minutes, everybody considering what Luke had said. The silence was surprisingly interrupted by Leia.

“Very well, then you should be the one to do it. It is getting late, and a storm is coming. We will stay here for the night and leave in the morning for Coruscant. Does anybody have any objections?”

Her tone was so firm that nobody dared to disagree with the General. Ben was surprised his mother had been the one to agree with Luke. He thought she was going to argue with him, to ask again if there was another way to find the crystal, but she didn’t. There was a silent agreement between them that nobody could understand. She took one last look at the hangar before excusing herself. Han followed shortly after her, and then everybody else left to have dinner.

“I still think that Ren should do it, but whatever...” mutter Poe as he, Finn and Rose left the Falcon, which earned him a painful kick from the small women.

“Hey, don’t kick him.” Said Finn.

“Well, then tell your boyfriend to stop creating conflict everywhere he goes.” She answered back harshly, making the former stormtrooper blush at the recognition of their relationship.

* * *

Leia was right. Not long after they had dinner, it started to rain. There was even thunder and lightning in the sky. Normally, Rey would have been amazed by the wonders of nature, but she was too angry to care. She took her robe and put her hood on before walking out of her hut. It was a bit hard to walk in the rain, but it was nothing compared to the burning sand on Jakku. She made her way to the furthest hut on top of a hill. She knew he was staying there. He had decided to sleep there when Han told him he had to share a cabin with Finn and Poe on the Falcon. Ben was probably getting ready to sleep now, but she didn’t care. He needed to hear what she had to say.

There was light coming from his hut, and as she approached the door, she could hear the sound of logs burning in the warm fire. She was about to knock on the door, but Ben beat her to it.

“Are you okay? What are you doing here? There’s a storm outside.” He asked with concern written all over his face as he pulled the door shut behind her.

“What was all that about?” She asked in return, getting straight to the point. But Ben’s face remained confused about her sudden appearance. “I thought we were passed this, about you doubting my abilities.” She added, and he seemed to finally understand what she was talking about because his face changed to slight annoyance.

“That was not me doubting your abilities, Rey. That was me trying to keep you safe.” He said, avoiding her gaze looking down at the floor. He bent down to retrieve a blanket to hand it over to her, but she didn’t take it. She knew what he was doing, trying to avoid the conversation.

“Well, you don’t have to do that. I decide what is safe for me, not you.”

“Then you clearly don’t know how to determine what is safe and what isn’t if you think-“ He said harshly, which only fuelled her anger even more.

“So, it is not safe if I do it, but it is fine for you to do it?”

“I don’t care what happens to me as long as you are safe.”

If Rey thought she was angry before, it was nothing compared to how she felt right now. He thought nobody would care if he was gone, as if his life mattered so little. It angered her, because how could he not see how much she cared for him, how much pain he would cause if he were to die. She didn’t even want to think about it.

“What is wrong with you? How can you even think that, Ben? Do you have any idea how I would feel if-“ And then it hit her. This sudden protectiveness she felt over his life was the same thing he had felt when she had volunteered to retrieve the crystal. He cared so deeply for her just as much as she did for him, but why? She was the granddaughter of the worst person in the galaxy. Rey had grown up as a scavenger in a filthy desert. How could he care about her?

Ben could feel her inner turmoil through the bond. She was shaking, and her eyes were watery. He took a step closer to her and tilted her chin to face him.

“I-I don’t know what I would do if something were to happen to you. I don’t even want to think about it. You mean everything to me, Rey. I-I love you.”

His words left her speechless. Nobody had ever said that to her before. Rey had so many emotions at that moment, so many things she was feeling that could not be put into words. She knew she loved him too, probably had for quite a while now, but she couldn’t say it. For some reason, she couldn’t admit it aloud, so she grabbed his shirt instead and pulled him closer, kissing him so passionately that they would have fell to the floor if the wall hadn’t stopped them. She sent every emotion she felt through the bond, and although she hadn’t said it back, he knew she could feel it too.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Ok, so I finally managed to get the next chapter out. I am so sorry about the long wait. I know this chapter is shorter than usual. Initially, it was supposed to be long veeeery long, but I decided to divide it into three, and the good news is that another chapter will be up next week. 
> 
> Next chapter will have a lot of 'interesting' scenes between Rey and Ben 😏, and some honest words between our favourite twins. I struggle a lot with writing. I always want everything to be perfect, but sometimes that is impossible. I hope you guys enjoyed this chapter regardless, and as always I love to hear your thoughts, suggestions or questions about the story, reading your comments always lifts up my spirit. 
> 
> Stay safe and take care 💕.


	22. Chapter 22

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> *TRIGGER WARNING* ⚠️ 
> 
> There is smut in this chapter. If you don't want to read it, skip everything until the first section break (AKA the first black line).

They both were clinging so hard to each other, not wanting to have even a single centimetre of space between them. Ben's hands were on her hips, and he was gripping them so hard, Rey was sure they were going to be bruised tomorrow, but she didn't care, besides she was sure her grip on his shoulders was leaving the same mark on his skin. Their lips broke apart as they were both running out of air, but they didn't pull away. Ben started kissing her cheek, then her jaw, and then her neck, giving her goosebumps. His lips were so soft on her skin, and she couldn't get enough of it. She ran her hands through his hair and pulled his locks between her fingers, making him moan with pleasure. Rey liked that. She liked what they were doing, the way it made her feel, and their closeness. It felt right, but she wanted more. She wanted him even closer than this. 

She could feel him getting hard. He was big, and she could feel his erection pressing down on her stomach. Her wandering hands left his hair and came down between them. Rey didn't know much about sex. She knew how to give herself pleasure, and she had seen some holovideos that she never really liked, but that was about it. On Jakku, being this close to someone was dangerous. It left you vulnerable, so she hadn't even thought about doing it with someone, but during this last few days, she found herself constantly thinking about it. It felt like a craving, like an itch that she couldn't get rid of, not even with her own hands. Having Ben suck on her neck felt more pleasurable than anything she had ever experienced before. She wanted him so badly. Her hand wandered even further and started stroking his cock through the fabric of his pants.

Ben pulled away soon after, putting some distance between them. The lack of his body pressed against hers made her feel cold and hollowed. She didn't understand what was happening. Had he not like that? Ben was avoiding looking at her, staring at the floor. She could feel through the bond that he was trying to calm himself.

"It-it's getting dark. You should stay here for tonight. I'll go sleep at your hut."

"It's already dark." She said, knowing he was making excuses. "Why do you always pull away, Ben? Am I doing it wrong?” She added in a defeated tone. 

Rey didn't understand what she had done wrong? She thought he was enjoying it, but his reluctance worried her. She wasn't experienced in these things at all, but was it really that bad?

“What?” He asked, not knowing what else to say, which only made Rey feel more self-conscious. 

"Am I doing it wrong? I know I don’t have much experience. I’ve never done this before, but is it really that bad?” She rambled, feeling hopeless.

“Rey, what are you talking about?” Ben asked with honesty. He didn't understand how she could think that. He thought his desire for her was more than obvious, but apparently, it wasn't because Rey continued with her rambling. 

"Do you not want me? Is there something wrong with me?” She said softly with so much pain in her eyes that it almost broke him. His rejection hurt her. All her life, she had always wondered if her parents had left her for a reason, perhaps she wasn't enough for them. She knew why they had left her now. But wounds that run deep are hard to close. The only thing she wanted at that moment was to be enough for him. 

Ben took a step closer to her and placed his palm on her cheek. He lifted her chin so that she could look him in the eyes. She was afraid to look, to see nothing but pity in his gaze, but when their eyes locked, there was only devotion and love so much love.

“There is nothing wrong with you, don’t ever think that, please. And no, you are not doing it wrong. I thought it was pretty obvious that what you were doing was working. I just-I am older than you, Rey, and fuck you just told me you haven’t done this before, and I am afraid to push you into something that you might regret.”

He was afraid. Rey could feel his fear through the bond. He was scared she was going to regret being with him. His entire life, he had felt like a regret. He wasn't enough for his parents. They had preferred to care about the galaxy, to live in their own world, rather than take care of him. He wasn't enough for Luke. Since the day he arrived at the temple, he was never able to meet his expectation. He wasn't enough to please Snoke because he couldn't fulfil Vader's legacy. But all he wanted now was to be enough for her.

“You are not pushing me, Ben. I-I want this so bad you have no idea. I keep thinking about you and this and- I have been trying to take care of myself, but it’s not enough anymore. I need you. I want you. I want all of you.” She said, stepping closer to hold the back of his neck, bringing their foreheads together.

“Fuck, sweetheart, you cannot just say those things to me…” he whispered, letting a long frustrated sigh out feeling himself getting hard again. "Are you sure you want this?" 

' _Are you sure you want me?'_ He added silently through the bond, looking at her with hopeful eyes.

'I am sure, but if this is something you don't want to do I-" 

"No, I want this." He answered with conviction. 'I want all of you, as well.' He added with such tenderness and devotion that Rey couldn't stand the distance between them anymore, so she brought him closer and kissed him again. 

Ben's hands gripped her waist before coming to her thighs to lift her into his arms. Rey made a tiny moan as her tights wrapped around his hips. She could feel his manhood so close to her core, provoking a strange heat in her belly. Ben directed them to the bed where he sat with her on his lap, neither pulling away, not even for a second.

Rey's mouth came in contact with his neck, and she started kissing it and licking it and then bitting, which made him moan with pleasure. Rey loved to see the marks she was leaving on his neck. It was proved that he was hers only and no one else's. It didn't matter if he had been with other people before, the only thing that matter was this - them.

"I am yours." He whispered against her ear when her thoughts were being too loud to ignore through the bond. 

Rey tugged on his shirt, trying to feel his bare skin. He took it off and hiked her tunic up, wanting her to do the same. She took it off as well and then reached her back to take her breast band too. When her chest was bare, she couldn't help to feel self-conscious. The boldness that had struck her a few minutes before disappeared and Ben wasn't doing or saying anything. He was just staring at her like he couldn't believe she was real.

"I-I know they are small." She said, breaking Ben's penetrating gaze. He smiled and shook his head in return.

"They are beautiful. You are beautiful." He said, putting one hand on her waist before kissing her lips tenderly. His other hand wandered further up until it came to her chest. "Is this okay?" He asked, cupping her whole breast in one hand. She nodded, and she could feel her nipples getting hard with his touch. His thumb started to gently stroke her nipple, which made Rey moan with pleasure. Ben's gaze was hungry and intense like he couldn't get enough of her. 

"That-that feels good." She managed to say as his other hand came to the same with her other boob. He started kissing her neck again and before she knew it his lips wear on her breast sucking her eagerly. Her whole body felt alive, and she could feel herself getting wet. Her core was clenching with so much desire she couldn't stand it anymore. "Ben...please I need- I need more."

"I got you, baby. I'll take care of you, I promise." He said before kissing her lips again. One of his hands came in between her thighs, opening her more. He then pressed a finger into her core, making her break the kiss apart to breathe heavily. "Is this okay?" He asked as his finger rubbed circles around her clit. She kissed him again to reassure him and brought her lips to his neck to encourage him. He pulled his finger away, making her groan in frustration, but soon she felt his whole hand again under her trousers, cupping her entire sex. 

"Fuck, Rey, you are so wet already." 

He traced her entrance with one finger and then rubbed her clit. Rey felt like she was on fire, her cunt was pulsing with so much pleasure it felt like it was going faster than her own heartbeats. "Can I put a finger inside you?"

"Yes, please..." She blurted her words in between breaths. His fingers were way bigger compared to her. One of his probably equalled two of hers, but it still felt good. He was stretching her out so nicely, and his thumb was still rubbing her clit. She could feel her orgasm building up. "Did you-did you think of me when you were touching yourself." 

"It was always you. Just...you, Ben."

"I love you so fucking much, baby. I can't believe you are letting me touch you. Do you think you can take another finger?"

She nodded, and he shoved another one inside her, and that was all it took for her to come. It felt like an explosion had happened all over her body. She screamed his name so loud if it weren't for the rain, Luke, who was sleeping a few huts away, would have probably heard her. He didn't take his hand away from her clit until she calmed down. He kissed her cheek and then brought his fingers to his mouth, licking his fingers to taste her. It was so obscene, the image of him with her wetness on his mouth, but she couldn't get enough of it. 

"Your turn." She said reaching between them for his hardening cock, rubbing it through the fabric of his trousers. 

"It's okay, you don't have to." 

"I want to. I want to make you feel good." 

"Okay, but I don't think I will last long, anyway." He stated, and Rey started to unzip his pants. He lifted her hips up a little to help her get his pants and underwear off. She knew he was going to be big, everything about him was big, but she was still surprised at the sight of it. She had never seen male genitalia up this close, and it made her wondered how it would ever fit inside her. She realised she was staring at it without doing anything.

"I-I...how do you-? Can you teach me how to do it?" She said, and Ben smiled cheekily at the fact that she was finally asking him to teach her something. She rolled her eyes at him but also smiled. Ben spat on his hand and rubbed his cock to lubricate it. He expected Rey to change her mind, to find the whole thing gross and unappealing, but she didn't say anything, instead, she put her hand on him and copied the same movements he was doing. "Like this?" She asked so innocently that it almost made him explode. 

"Yeah." He answered, putting his hand on top of hers to guide her. Her hand could barely cover his entire cock, but she was a quick learner and soon found a rhythm of her own that worked. Her hand went up and down, and then her thumb grazed over the tip, making him grunt like an animal. Not long after, he was coming all over her hand. It took him a few minutes to come back to reality. His heart was beating so fast he was surprised it was not out of his chest already. "I am sorry. I should have warned you. I made a mess." He apologized, looking at her hand and his stomach. 

"It's okay. Let's clean up and go to bed." She said, before giving him a quick peck on the lips.

* * *

Luke couldn't sleep. He was tossing and turning, trying to find some sort of peace, but it was impossible. There were too many things hunting him. He wasn't afraid to die, not anymore, but there were so many things he had left with no resolution, too many wounds he had inflicted on the people closest to him. Would his sacrifice be enough to repair this? No, it wasn't. He knew it wasn't going to change anything. It wouldn't make anything better.

He felt so lost, so alone. 

The stars had always brought him comfort, even when he was a child living on Tatooine. He used to stay awake the whole night sometimes just to see them, to admire them. He would create stories of how he would buy a ship and become the greatest pilot in the entire galaxy. The stars had always guided him, maybe they could help him with this as well. 

When the rain stopped, he got up from his bed and grabbed his grey robe to protect him from the cold of the mighty island. It was summer, so the nights weren't so dark on Ahch-To, but it wouldn't have mattered. Luke knew the island like the back of his hand by now. He could walk through it, without falling, even in the pitch black. He headed to his favourite hill where a big smooth stone sat, that place had the best view of the island and stars. It was perfect. As he got closer, he realised he wasn't alone.

"I know you are there, Luke." She said with her signature cold tone that was reserved only for him. "What are you doing up?"

"I couldn't sleep. I have too many thoughts on my head." He said, walking closer to sit at the other end of the stone as far away from her as possible. "And you?"

"Han's snores are impossible to get through some nights." She answered, and that made him smiled. 

"Tell me about it." 

He could remember the number of sleepless nights he had to endure, back when he was a young man with the resistance forced to share a room with Han. 

"Are you afraid of what might happen tomorrow?"

"No, not really. The galaxy will be better off without me, without the Jedi." 

"You know what I admired the most about you?" She asked, suddenly, turning to look at him in the eyes "Your hope, your eagerness to live and see the good in everything, even on the things that seemed lost…” She added, and Luke knew who she was referring to at that moment. "I didn’t have that, and I-I thought you could teach that to Ben. Now, I look at you, and it breaks my heart to see you this defeated. I am still so angry at you. I doubt our relationship will ever go back to the way it used to, but I-I don’t want you to die tomorrow. I have just gotten you back. I don’t want to lose you again.” She said, and for the first time since they had reunited, there was no anger on her voice, just worry, and even...love. 

“You won’t. No one is ever truly gone. I will always be with you, you know that.” 

They both just stared at each other in silence, not knowing what else to say. It felt right to be this open after so many years of living in the dark, of avoiding the truth, but at the same time, it wasn't the same. Trust had been broken between them, and they both knew it may never be fixed again. 

“I love him, despite everything that has happened, even if he hates me, I still love him, Leia, as much as I love you. Please, don’t-don’t ever forget that.” 

He wanted her to know before he was gone. He wanted her to know how much he cared. Leia didn't say anything, but she moved closer to him and placed her hand on top of his own before giving it a gentle squeeze. Leia had never been the person to express her feelings openly, so with that simple gesture, he knew everything she wanted to say. 

“I should go. It is not wise to hold back sleep when we know we are going to need it tomorrow.” She said before standing up and leaving. Luke knew she was right, but their conversation had shown him that he didn't need to hide anymore, that he didn't need to close himself off from everything. There was something he needed to do before going to Coruscant tomorrow.

He placed his hands on the smooth stone and took a deep breath to centre himself. He started to slowly open himself up to the force, just like he had done not long ago when Rey had come to the island, but this time he didn't hold back. This time he let himself feel everything. Live. Death. Warm. Cold.

Light. 

Dark.

So much Darkness, but this feeling wasn't new. He knew this darkness. He had felt it so many years ago...

* * *

Rey was so tired, but every time she closed her eyes, she could hear him whispering to her, asking her to give in, to tell him where the crystal was hidden.

_“I know you know where the crystal is, Rey. Bring it to me.”_

He was hunting her, tormenting her every breath, and it took a lot to keep him out when she was so tired. She had never been taught how to shield her mind properly; so she was doing her best with the little information she had gathered on the Jedi texts. It was horrible. Everything that had to do with him was horrible, and in a way, she was a part of him too. The mere thought of that repulsed her.

After their intimate session, they both had collapsed on the bed, exhausted. Ben had given her one of his shirts to sleep in, which fitted her like a dress. They were locked in a tight embrace, holding each other with fondness. It was so soft and warm; it didn't take long for Ben to drift to sleep. Rey was about to follow when the memories of the night before invaded her mind. She knew he was waiting for her to let her guard down. She could feel it. 

"What are you doing up? The sun hasn't even come up yet." Asked Ben suddenly hugging her waist and holding her closer to him.

"He is waiting for me to fall asleep. I can feel it. He won't leave me alone." He didn't have to ask to know who she was talking about. “It's horrible. Is this how it felt? All those years with Snoke in your head?” She asked, and it surprised him. They had never talked about Snoke since leaving the Supremacy. She had never touched the subject, which he was thankful for. His time with Snoke and the scar it had left in his mind was complicated. He felt guilty for all the things he had done under his control, but it also caused him great pain to know he had never cared about him. Snoke had been in his mind for as long as he could remember. It was hard to determine who he was without him. 

"It doesn’t matter now. He is gone." He answered, trying to avoid the subject, but she could feel through the bond the pain it had caused him. She could see him, a small and afraid little child, not understanding what was happening with voices in his head, wanting to control him, to break him. It wasn't fair. 

"It does matter. You were so young, Ben. You shouldn't have gone through all of that alone." She said, turning around in his arms to look at him and placing a caring hand on his cheek. "All those years with him in your head. How does it feel now that he is gone?"

Ben was about to tell her he did not wish to speak about this, but the look on her face was not what he had expected. There was no disgust, no horror, only concern, worry and maybe even curiosity. Rey had told him she wanted all of him, and now that they were here, laying next to each other, it made him think that perhaps she meant even the bad parts. 

“I-I can still hear him sometimes." He said like if it was a confession, he needed to get rid of. "I know it is not real anymore, that it’s just a product of my imagination, but sometimes it feels so real." He shivered slightly at the weight of his words, and Rey only moved closer to rub his arm. "I don’t know why I can’t just move on.”

"You were under his control for so many years, Ben. It will take time, but that's okay. You won't be alone. I promise." She said, and he couldn't help to move closer to her to press his lips against hers in a loving kiss. 

"Go to sleep. I'll stay awake, and I'll make sure he doesn't come anywhere close to you, I promise." He said, and she opened her mouth to protest, but he didn't let her. "I've slept enough already, you haven't. I'll show you how to strengthen your shields tomorrow. Go to sleep now." He added, kissing her cheek. Rey didn't want him to lose rest for her, but she was so tired. She didn't have the energy to argue with him, so she closed her eyes, resting her head on his chest and her hands on his bare torso. 

"Were all your nights this bad?" 

"No, sometimes-sometimes I dreamt of a woman with flowers on her head. She was young and reminded me of my mother. She was always crying, but when she looked at me, she smiled, and for that brief moment, I felt safe. Whenever I saw her, I knew the voices were not coming that night. I felt like I was love." He answered, and a single tear streamed down his face. Rey opened her eyes to look at him once more and wiped the tear away. 

"You are love, Ben. I love you." 

"I know. Sleep, sweetheart." He said, moving her head to rest on him again. He smiled so widely his jaw started to hurt after a while. 

And as Rey drifted into sleep, they could both hear their hearts, beating in perfect sync with the other, united in a single heartbeat.

Two, that are one. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> As promised here is the next chapter. I have to admit I am not very happy with this chapter (or with my writing in general lol), but I hope you guys like it regardless. English is not my first language, so I always try to do my best (thank god for Grammarly). Anyway, the next chapter will probably come in a few weeks. I hope I can make time to write. 
> 
> Your comments and kudos always inspire and motivate me to write. I love hearing what you have to say, whether it is suggestions for the story, questions, or just what you think about it, so please don't hesitate to leave a comment. 
> 
> Thank you all so much for reading and for staying around this long. 
> 
> Stay safe and take care 💕.


	23. Chapter 23

Coruscant had once been the hub of galactic culture. A place where commerce, education, the arts and politics had flourished. It served as the capital of the galaxy for centuries. But after the fall of the Republic, and the execution of the Jedi, the planet's greatness diminished. It was abandoned by the central government, which allowed crime syndicates to take over. And it became a shadow of its former glory. There was not much left on Coruscant. The riches, the gold and life had been all taken away by the Empire. Only ruins and ghosts remained. 

The First Order had not been too involved in Coruscant. They had preferred to take action on more significant and wealthy planets, knowing this eased Ben's mind, but he also knew they had to keep their guard up. He knew it would only take one mistake for Palpatine to find them. 

They landed as close to the Jedi temple, or rather the place where it used to be, as they could. There was no one in sight. The place was barren. 

"This place is horrible." Said the stormtrooper once they exited the Falcon, speaking out loud what everybody had on their mind.

_ "It wasn't always like this. You should have seen it, boy. It was glorious."  _ Answered Chewbacca with a hint of nostalgia in his eyes. Finn shook his head in response. He couldn't imagine this place being anything but grim. 

"Do you know where we are going?" Leia asked her brother as they walked ahead of everybody.

"Somewhere quiet, somewhere I can connect with the Force." 

"What happened to your neck?" Finn asked Ben, unable to hold back his curiosity when he noticed there was a sort of red rash on his skin. 

"What?" He answered harshly at first, but then his entire face turned red, and he hid the rash with his hand. It looked as if he were blushing with embarrassment, but that couldn't be right.  _ Kylo Ren blushing?  _ "I-uh. A mosquito bit me on Ahch-To."

"What the hell? What kind of mosquitos were on that bloody island?"

"I assume big ones, _reaaaaally_ big ones." Said Rose, trying to contain her laughter. She couldn't believe her friend could be so clueless. Finn just looked at her with confusion, not understanding what she was implying. 

"Can we walk faster? We are falling behind." Said Rey, changing the direction of the conversation; before joining Han, Poe and Chewbacca, who were a few meters ahead of them. 

After a few minutes of walking, they came to a room of sorts with only three walls remaining and no roof. The Force there was strong, almost as strong as the temple on Ahch-To. 

"This is it. The Force is stronger here. It will be easier to travel between worlds." Announced Luke to the room before adding with a sad smile, "I think we should say our goodbyes now, just in case."

Everybody just stared at him for a while without moving or saying anything. It seemed surreal to think this might be the last time they ever got to see him. The silence was broken by a loud cry. Chewbacca was the first to move and wrapped Luke into a bone-crushing hug.

" _ You will come back. I know you will. _ " He said, and all Luke could say in return was, "I'll try, buddy. I'll try."

The next persons to move were Poe and Finn, to the surprise of everybody else. 

"Master Skywalker, in case you don't come back, I want you to know that it was an honour to meet you." Said the Pilot shaking his hand. 

"I hope you come back, Master Skywalker. I really would like to learn the ways of the Force." Said Finn, when it was his turn to shake his hand. Luke's smile faded for a second, like something he had said had hurt him deeply, but then he shook his head and smiled again at the young man with fondness.

He turned his attention to Rose, who was standing next to them. He stretched his hand, ready for the kind gesture, but instead, the small woman went in for a hug. It surprised him at first, but somehow it felt reassuring. 

Rey was the next one to approach him. She wasn't quite sure what to say to him. The last time they had talked, it hadn't ended well. The man was stubborn and probably the most frustrating person she had ever met, but she also felt for him. He was sad, and he had lost his way. Yes, he had made mistakes, but he had also done plenty of good things for the galaxy. 

"I know I wasn't a great teacher, and I know I let you down. I was not able to help you, Rey. I hope you find what you are looking for." He said sincerely with no hint of resentment or anger, which made Rey do something she didn't expect. She had hugged him. 

"I think I already have." 

Luke smiled even wider at her, knowing what she was referring to. He held her hand in his own and gave her a small nod before leaving. The old Jedi then walked to the other side of the room, where only one person stood. He swallowed nervously before speaking.

"Ben, I know you hate me, and I know you might never forgive me, but I-I just wanted to say that I love you. I really do, and I am sorry for everything." He said, but Ben didn't answer him. He just kept looking at the floor, uninterested. "I guess I’ll see you around, kid, one way or another." He added before walking away.

Han then stood in front of him with his arms crossed and a serious expression on his face. 

"Han," was the only thing he could say before the man wrapped him up in a hug almost as strong as Chewie's. 

"Okay, do this quickly so I can be mad at you again." He muttered, which almost made Luke laugh out loud. 

The memories of the past flashed through his eyes. Han had been his friend for so long. He had been there for him when he needed him. Although he had little hope of returning, a small part of him wished he could, just so he could mend things with Han. 

The last person left to say goodbye to was Leia. She was staring at him in her usual regal and composed nature, but her eyes told a different story. Her sadness was evident through the Force, and Luke felt guilty for being the cause of her pain.

"You have to come back, okay? You can't leave me again. I won't allow it." She practically ordered him. It made him smile slightly. Her tone reminded him of when they had first met when she was a princess, and he was a poor farm boy from Tatooine who was lucky to just be in her presence. A tear dropped from her eyes, erasing his smile. He walked closer to her and held her hand. 

"I'll do my best. I promise." He said, bringing their foreheads together. They stayed that way for a few minutes, neither of them saying anything because they didn't have to. They could feel through the Force everything they needed to know. 

When Luke broke their tender moment apart, everybody stared back at him. He let out a long sigh; took his robe off, and laid it down on one of the broken pillars. He then laid down on the ground, ready for what was about to come. 

"Well, hopefully, I'll see you all soon," was all he said before everything around him came to a sudden stop.

* * *

_ He was floating. The Force around him was guiding him, holding him. He had never felt this close to it before. It was as if everything around him was part of him, and he was part of everything as well. He opened his eyes and noticed he was alone in the same room as before, but somehow everything was different. There were no more ruins, no more wreck; instead, there were glorious pillars decorated with gold and silver holding the temple together, and everything looked clean and organised. He found himself with his mouth open in surprise, trying to picture the old life of the Jedi. Everything was also covered in a strange mystic blue glow, which reminded him this was not real. He had come here for something. _

_ He stood up and gave himself a few seconds to take it all in. He reached out to the Force, hoping to find something, anything that could help him with his mission. There was a small thread leading him somewhere. He followed it, walking through the grand halls of what was once considered a sacred and untouchable place. The Force led him to a room, which Luke assumed used to be a vault, but there was no lock on the door. It opened at his command as if it were waiting for him to come.  _

_ The room was dark and empty. The only light was coming from a crystal that was pressed onto the wall. Luke took a step closer, but before he could reach it, a presence from behind interrupted him. A young man was standing in the doorway wearing tan colour robes and brown boots. He looked calm. A beard covered his face, and his hair was a light honey colour. He made his way across the room and stood in front of him. _

_ "It's good to see you again, Luke." He said, and there was something in his blue eyes that seemed quite familiar. It took him a few minutes, but then he suddenly realised he had seen this man before. _

_ "Old Ben? Ben Kenobi?"  _

_ "Ah, yes, I suppose I do look different from the last time we saw each other. It has been a while." _

_ "Yes, you do." Said Luke, still finding it hard to believe that his old mentor was the young man standing in front of him. The last time they had seen each other had been many years ago, decades. He had appeared to him as force-ghost, offering guidance when he needed it. "I presume you know what I came here for." He added, getting straight to the point.  _

_ "I do. You are looking for something, a very powerful object, that has the power to heal and even bring immortality to the one who possesses it." He answered, turning his back to him to look at the crystal for a few seconds. "Did you know it was my master, Quin-Go, who hid the crystal before he died so nobody could find it?" _

_ "If I don’t retrieve it now, someone else will come for it, and they won’t be as patient as I am." _

_ "Yes, I am aware. Not even those who are one with the Force are free from sensing the dark side. Your anger is not easy to ignore. You are angry at yourself. Angry at the Jedi." He said casually in a tone that annoyed Luke. _

_ "How could I not be? I thought your teachings would be the answer to stopping the dark side, but they weren’t. Even I am not able to resist the temptation sometimes. I didn’t resist it the night I walked into Ben’s hut. I believed in your teachings, follow them blindly, but they took everything away from me, and they weren't enough to save Ben." There was so much desperation in his voice, so much pain. Everything he had done in his life had been for nothing. So many years, teaching, researching about the Jedi only for them to fail him over and over again. Kenobi did not flinch at the emotions his words held, but there was so much sadness in his face. _

_ “You are right. It took me a long time to see that too. The Jedi were meant to bring peace to the galaxy, but they lost their way. They were so obsessed with stopping the Siths that they forgot about everything else. I believe it was our teachings that led Anakin, your father, to the dark side. And that is something I deeply regretted my entire life. I understand what you are going through.”  _

_ "No, you don’t." Answered Luke with frustration. "I don’t even know who I am anymore. I have disappointed everyone around me, especially the ones I love. Everybody expects me to show them the path of the Force. But the problem is: I don’t know what the right path is anymore. If there is always going to be darkness inside of everyone, then why do we even try to make things better?" He added, defeated, looking at the ground, not wanting to see Kenobi's face anymore. _

_ "Because there is also light. Ben came back, didn’t he? You thought he was lost to the dark, but there was always a small light deep inside him that not even the most powerful Sith could extinguish. I know you feel lost, but I can’t tell you what you should do, and I also can’t give you the answers to everything. There are things we must find out for ourselves, but if it is hope you are looking for, then you are closer to it than you think." He said, walking closer to Luke. "You have sensed it, how powerful the bond they share is." He nodded in return. Kenobi didn't need to say names for him to know who he was talking about. "It is something unseen for generations. Two, that are one. A dyad. The perfect balance.”  _

_ "That can't-" Luke was familiar with the prophecy of the dyad. It was something he had read a long time ago in one of his many missions. It was a powerful bond, just like life itself. The two beings who possess it could do extraordinary things, things that only a Jedi or a Sith could ever dream of doing. He was about to object, but was it really that hard to believe? Hadn't things, even stranger than this, already happened? Kriff, even Palpatine was back. Why couldn't this be real too? _

_ "The connection between Rey and Ben is the key. You just have to figure out what door it opens." Said Kenobi with a small smile on his face, but then his expression changed to one of fear, and he turned around to look at the crystal again. "Take it. It is no longer safe here. They are coming." _

* * *

An hour had passed already, and nothing had happened. Luke’s body remained still on the ground. The Force around him was strange as if his soul were divided into two pieces. Everybody was becoming more anxious by the second. What if he didn’t make it? How long should they wait to determine that? And they also knew, the longer they stayed in Coruscant, the more dangerous it became. 

Ben was sitting on one of the pillars, staring at his uncle’s body attentively. His hands were shaking slightly. He was nervous. Although Ben didn't want to admit it, Luke had more knowledge about the Force than all of them combined. If he couldn't do it, then what chance did they stand? Ben knew it was only a matter of time for Palpatine to find them and figure out where the crystal was hidden. There was also a strange feeling of concern for his uncle, but he refused to give it any thought. He had already decided Luke Skywalker meant nothing to him.

"Are you okay?" Said Rey, sitting down next to him and putting a hand on his leg to stop it from shaking. He hadn't even realised he was doing that. 

"Yes." He said, turning his gaze to look at her instead and his eyes immediately soften. "Are you?" He added, taking her hand in his.

"I am worried about Luke, and I am also afraid of what will happen if he fails." 

"I know I am scared too."

"Sometimes, it feels like all we do is worry." Said Rey with a sad smile on her face. All her life, she had to worry about everything, worry about finding good parts to get food, worry about surviving in the scorching desert on Jakku; and now she had to worry about the wellbeing of the entire galaxy. 

"That's war." 

"I know. I just-I just hope one day we don't have to worry about anything, except for normal everyday things. No Palpatine, no war, just peace." Her mind wandered to the children she had seen in her vision when they had first touched through the Force. She longed to see it. See a galaxy where things were not perfect, but there was a desire to be better, to do better for those who needed it. But could such a thing be possible with so much darkness lurking around?

Ben watched as Rey's expression changed from sadness to hope and then to fear. As he looked down at their hands intertwined, he couldn't help but think about the possibility of a galaxy without war. He could picture them together, living in a small house near a lake, where they could grow old happily. 

"I hope so too." He said, giving her a smile and squeezing her hand. She smiled back at him, feeling his desire to be with her through the bond, and the sadness and fear left her face for a few seconds.

Ben was about to lean in to kiss her cheek, to hold her close when everything started to shake around them. There was a sudden rip through the Force. Everything was quiet, but it felt loud, so loud as if the Force itself were screaming. It didn't last long; after a few minutes, it was over.

"What the hell was that?" Asked Finn when the ground stopped shaking.

"It was some kind of change in the Force. I am not quite sure what it was." Answered Rey.

"Stars, look at his hand!" Said Rose, pointing at Luke's body. A precious stone had suddenly appeared in his hand. It was strong in the Force, and it seemed to reflect the light around it. The stone rolled all the way across the floor, stopping in front of Rey, who picked it up immediately. Luke had done it. He had actually recovered the crystal successfully, but there was something wrong.

Rey couldn't feel him through the Force. His body was there unharmed, but his soul...was gone.

The first one to move was Leia. She had tears in her eyes as she kneeled next to her brother. She took his hand and put it close to her face. Her sobs ripped through the silence around them, and soon after, everybody, except for Ben, found themselves with tears in their eyes. Han came closer to them and put an arm around Leia, hugging her close. 

Luke Skywalker, the man who had many years ago saved the galaxy, was gone. The man who was seen as a war hero by many had now become a legend of the distant past. 

"What are we doing?" Said Ben, ending the silence. He was not crying. There was no expression of sadness on his face, only confusion and frustration. They turned to look at him, but they were unable to decipher what he was talking about, which seemed to frustrate him even more. "We can save him. We have the crystal!"

“Ben, you know that won’t work. His body is fine. It’s his soul that is lost.” Said Leia calmly, through her tears, but Ben didn't listen. He moved closer and kneeled next to her in front of Luke's body.

"We have to try. Rey, give me the crystal." 

"Ben..." She started to say, trying to reason with him, but he wasn't having it.

"Just give me the crystal, Rey." He said again, this time softer, as if he were asking her, to please let him do this. The softness in his voice broke her. She caved and gave it to him. 

He took the crystal in his hand and closed his eyes to connect to the Force. He tried to direct the energy of the crystal into Luke, but it didn't let him, as if the crystal itself was rejecting him. It wasn't working.

"Son, it's too late. He is gone." Said Han.

"Come on, work." He muttered to himself, ignoring Han's words, but no matter what he did, the crystal didn't respond. "It can’t be too late. It can’t. Fuck."

"Ben, he is dead. Let go." Said Leia reaching out to touch him, but he shoved her aside.

"No, he can't get out of this that easily. He has to fix what he started. He-" Said Ben, almost screaming. He was angry, angry that Luke got to be the hero again, that he didn't even get the chance to fix all the mistakes he had made. Angry that he didn't get to-

He could feel tears threatening to come out from his eyes, but he didn't let them. He bit down on his tongue and dropped the crystal to the floor, defeated. 

"I-I never told him that I...that I forgive him. I never told him." He added, realising he was mad at himself as well. It felt like a chapter of his life had not been closed, like it had been taken from him. He had told his parents he would come to forgive them, but he had told Luke nothing. He had told him he didn't care when, in fact, he did. 

Now, it was too late. 

Everybody was so focused on what had just happened that they failed to notice the sound of a robotic hand moving. 

"I had to die for you to finally forgive me." Said a voice grunting with pain. 

"Luke, you son of a bitch." Said Han before he pulled him into a hug while everybody stared perplexed at them. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hello everybody, thank you so much for reading this chapter. We are coming close to the end of the story, yeii! Five more chapters to go. I am really excited for all of you to see what I have planned, but I must admit that the next update will probably take a long while to come. Uni is starting again in a few days and I am going to be very busy with assignments, but I promise I will finish the story as soon as I can. Writing this story and hearing what you all have to say makes me unbelievably happy. I already have planned what I will write after this. So, if you are interested in Modern AUs be on the lookout for one 👀.
> 
> This chapter is probably in my top five favourites. I am sorry for all the philosophical stuff I couldn't help it. I just felt like the sequels could have been such a great story about hope and new beginnings for the Jedi, but what can you do. 
> 
> Please don't forget to leave your thoughts, opinions, questions or predictions in the comments. I love reading your comments. It really brightens up my day.
> 
> Stay safe and take care 💕


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